Nov 1, 2022 in Online Consultations
Dealing with Toxic people and Bullies
Bullies are normally insecure individuals who derive some form of gratification from inflicting pain on others
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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Realistically, there is always a causal link to bullying behaviour in various situations. This article is focussing on bullies in different contexts. Generally, bullying behaviour is normally associated with the school environment and children. Nonetheless, it is very common among adults in a work environment, family environment like mother in law and daughter in law, or other similar institutions.
Among adults, you find that the behaviour is triggered by an inferiority complex of the bully towards the targeted victim.
In practice, it is vital to analyse the behaviour of the bully from a psychological/sociological perspective in order to identify the causal links. For example, the application of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy which would be conducted eclectically in the theoretical framework of psycho dynamics, cognitive behavioural theory, systems theory and any other relevant theory. Consistency in recording incidents that lead to the bullying behaviour; ( ABC charts: Antecedent - Behaviour - Consequences ) the behaviour itself in terms of how the bully imposes it on the victim and the consequences, particularly the emotional impact on the victim; for example; In that state of mind they can be highly opinionated and economical with the truth in order to effectively carry out the destructive agenda, leading to backstabbing or spreading malicious gossip based on assumptions or opinions of limited knowledge to prove a ' delusional qualified knowledge', abusive language with hidden connotation that is made to come out like jokes, aggressiveness that could either be physical or harsh tone of voice, in some instances, the bully would even try to make it look like they are giving constructive criticism to the victim although the condescending or patronising attitude would be reflective of a desperate attempt to impose their power on the victim because the victim's level of success or competence could be a true reflection of their own insecurities , inadequacies or inferiorities. In a work environment, this often results in the victim presenting with anxiety or depression, leading into a sense of helplessness because they would be getting attacked in an organised or premeditated way that is meant to set other people against them because the usual pattern of a bully is to involve other people with the intention of ostracising the victim. That is when you find the victim dreading to go to work, leaving their job etc.
Effective therapy sessions for the victim must focus on assisting them to understand the bully s cognition or thinking and reasoning. In practice, you find that this has an empowering effect on the victim. It exposes the bully s vulnerabilities, fears or weaknesses to a point where the victim would be able to understand why the bully behaves like that. Some bullies find it very difficult to accept that people who they feel are inferior to them in terms of socially constructed divisions, i.e gender inequalities, are capable of achieving better than them. A clearer understanding of these hidden motives serve to empower the victim and enhance their resilience or coping mechanism. Furthermore, it enables them to rise above the situation and come up with effective solutions to deal with the situation.
In conclusion, the client will have the ability to understand that their own kindness or understanding of why the bully behaves like that will not necessarily change the bully s behaviour but it will help them to move on and maybe at a later stage in the bully's life, some life experiences may change the bully to be a more reflective and better person. Bullying from adult to adult is common and toxic. An informed therapeutic intervention can make a very big difference.