Jun 6, 2023 in Life Coaching

Victim of Your Exes

Are you still a victim of your ex? Could you be sabotaging your future because of it? We delve deeper into this topic.

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So I was watching one of my favourite reality shows (only a select few make the grade for Coach Rita) 'The Hills: New Beginnings' last week and one of the arguments (yes these happen frequently in these shows), was between Stephanie Pratt and Audrina Partridge regarding a situation with a guy (of course) and one of the things that Stephanie said to Audrina was

"You are a victim of your exes!" Apologies if it was said a little differently on the show, but this was the gist of it.

It got me thinking - not only about whether this is true about Audrina, but is true for many of us.

Think about this for a moment -

Does your ex still haunt your current relationship? Do you make comparisons?

Do you find you often talk about them and the pain they caused you or the upset of what went wrong with friends and family?

Do you hold back in life and in new relationships, due to what happened in your previous relationships?

Are you always getting emotional when you think back to what happened?

Does your ex still call you and you feel obliged to be there for them?

If you said yes to any of these questions...you are a victim of your ex/exes (depending on how many exes you hold these feelings about)

I understand that some of you may have children with your ex and therefore, they will still be a part of your life due to the care of the children, but when it comes to emotions and moving forward if this becomes a negative cycle, it's time to get stronger.

Nobody and I mean nobody should be the reason you hold back from moving forward. But if you give the past your power then guess what...they hold the power.

So how do you stop being a victim to your exes?

First of all - don't read more into things if it isn't there anymore. If you can see that the signals they give is purely platonic and you are happy for it to stay that way too then it's great. But if it becomes one-sided, you need to get the hell out of there and stop blaming them for leading you on. You see what you want to see.

Secondly, let go of the 'blame game'. The relationship didn't end well. Let it go and move on with your life. What you do in life now, is your responsibility and has nothing to do with them. They are not to blame for how you are feeling now. Its a choice you are making to carry the suffering with you and extend it. Be thankful you are out of the negative relationship and focus on yourself and creating new healthier relationships.

Thirdly, if you are feeling emotional...spend time in meditation and release all that pent-up emotion through regular quiet time. It will do you the world of good and you'll heal a hell of a lot quicker.

Too many people, especially us women are victims of exes and it's time to let this go. Your life is too precious to carry this heavy negative energy around with you for years onwards.

Be the strong woman that you are and declare today that 'No more will you be the victim of any of your exes' and release that damn negative energy once and for all.

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