Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Relationships with narcissistic people can be disillusioning, frustrating, and hard to sort through. Find healing from them.

Not many things in relationships can be as devistating as dealing with a narcissistic person. If you do not know already, a narcissist is someone who has no empathy for others, is very self obsorbed, and has a superior attitude about themselves. In fact, many who have this personality disorder truly believe they are better than anyone else. 

When locked into a relatonship to a narcissist, a person becomes disallusioned by their charm and excessive attention. Don't be fooled by this though! It is only a set up for a let down. They use their irrisistable charm in order to lure in their prey. Actually, I truly believe that narcissists need those who have a lot of feeling and emphay in order to find ways to feel for themselves. Often they can create chaos just to get an emotional reaction from someone and somehow this creates a habit formed type of high for them. 

Some narcissists have a form of passive agressive anger, so they will bait their "loved one" into displaying an emotional outburst in order to secure their superior view of themselves. That way, in their mind, the significant other is the problem and not them. They stay calm and collected while the person affected by their trap becomes out of control, angry, yelling and screaming. Its a pattern, and it is abusive to the one who is involved. Honestly, anyone would become emotionally distraut at the way the narcissist will manipulate emotional situations. 

This type of relationship is often very hard to get out of. The narcissist can be very good at mocking sorrow for thier actions, only to come back around and start the abuse process all over again. The talking behind your back, the set up for the next anger fix, the passive aggressive ways of being abusive are all part of their personalities. Believe me, its hard to live with and hard to break free from without being defamed in some way to others around you. I truly believe those who have been affected by a narcissist in thier lives develop forms of PTSD. So how do you heal from being connected to a narcissist? Here are some beginning thoughts. 

1) Acknowledge that this is the type of relationship you have. It is abusive. The narcissist is never capable of truly loving anyone. They just do not have those types of deep feelings for anyone. They are too into themselves to love anyone else. Admit to yourself this is unhealthy and you need to get out! 

2) Stop all contact immediately or as soon as you can. Going no contact with someone is the best way to give them the signal that you will no longer play their game. Don't respond to text messages, phone calls, letters, emails, or any messages the narcissist might send through others. 

3) Get support. There is always strength in numbers. Have those you can trust around you who will hold you accountable to no contact and also be there to listen while you go through what feels like the loss of a relationship 

4) Get good counseling. You need a professional sometimes to help vent your feelings and who will validate you in a way that friends and loved ones can not. Someone who is in a professional helping field can be a life saver for your self esteem and confidence. Not to mention a witness if any harm is attempted upon you. 

5) Practice deep self care. Find other interests, other friends, spend good alone time, practice your faith, journal, and go on trips if you can. The more you distance yourself from the perceived relationshiip issue the better. Keep your focus on your emotional and mental health at this time. Jumping into another relationship is not the answer. Have a relationship with yourself, your faith, and your friends. 

6) Keep hopeful for the future. Often when affected by a narcissitic relationsip we feel like there is no hope for us. Self esteem has been shattered and many times the narc will tell you that you will never find anyone as good as they are. NOT TRUE! Remember your value and repeat it to yourself daily. Keep hope alive by validating yourself and taking care of your own needs As you work on yourself to be set free from the affects of a bad relationship, you will eventually attract a better one. Remember, we attract to us according to what we put out there in the universe. Strenthen who you are and try new things. Take this time to explore the things that YOU love and others who have the same interests will come along! 

If you need help sorting through your feelings, please find someone to talk to on a professional level. As stated before, you need someone to validate you while you heal the way you have become to look at yourself. You will thank yourself later for the good self care you have taken the time to give to yourself! 

 

 

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