Oct 3, 2020 in Business Coaching

Can Anxiety Be Good For Me At Work?

Bad Anxiety And Good Anxiety: It depends on what type of anxiety it is. Does it freeze or does it move you forward?

13 members found this to be effective.

It's your turn now! Let's support each other by clicking "Helpful".

How do I fix a marriage after cheating??

My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help

Answer 134 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

9 May

Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him

Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?

Answer 113 answers • 6 Experts joined

Huttslady

17 Jan

Help

We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?

Answer 111 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

17 Jan

Idk what to do

My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them

Answer 79 answers • 6 Experts joined

Ashleigh

17 Jan

Lost and confused at a crossroads

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling

Answer 81 answers • 4 Experts joined

Diya Singh

17 Jan

How can I get my teen to confide in me

I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this

Answer 153 answers • 15 Experts joined

Mommy22

17 Jan

What do I do?

I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.

Answer 122 answers • 6 Experts joined

John Hayward

17 Jan

I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.

He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?

Answer 116 answers • 4 Experts joined

Martha Diaz

17 Jan

Shared custody

It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?

Answer 73 answers • 5 Experts joined

Christie

17 Jan

What should I do?

My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD

Answer 72 answers • 3 Experts joined

Bad Anxiety And Good Anxiety

Anxiety can weigh us down and help us to freeze up or run away as well as be aggressive. That's what you call overwhelming or non-adaptive anxiety. On the other hand, adoptive anxiety can be a real asset. My old boss John Townsend explains it this way.

“I once worked with an executive who felt such great anxiety about meeting with his board that he could hardly speak to them coherently. We had to work on reducing his anxiety from the overwhelming level to the adaptive level. After that, he presented himself well.”

This relates something that happens to us a lot at New Life. We see this both in counseling and in executive coaching as people try to function in their home and worklife. Most of us are pretty familiar with overwhelming or non-adaptive anxiety. We may have experienced this a lot as a child, as a young adult and continued to experience it in adulthood.

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CV/Resume

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On the other hand, there's adaptive anxiety. This anxiety acts like a stimulus and helps motivate us on to good things. You could even say that this anxiety is excitement or a more positive anticipation.

An example of adaptive anxiety might be anxiety you get when your staff is holding you accountable about that Death By Power Point presentation you're going to be giving in an hour. Or a senior manager has giving you a huge project and asked you to report to her every week on the progress you're making. Or you know it's important as the boss to confront a difficult employee or staff member who needs a correction that will really help them do a better job.

Which one do you have: adaptive anxiety or non-adaptive anxiety? Write out the negative and positive things you’re anticipating. Also, by telling someone you trust about your thoughts you will shine light on whatever anxiety it is and empower yourself to handle it better.

Townsend, John. The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way (p. 18). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.