Nov 20, 2020 in Therapy
Why it's important to heal
Regardless of whether we caused our own wounds or someone else did, we still have a responsibility to heal ourselves.
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
No-one is perfect. And throughout everyone’s life, we all manage to do a fair amount of damage to others, at some time or another. As children, we may be unfortunate to suffer abuse or neglect at the hands of our parents or caregivers. Or we may have an experience that leaves us traumatized, or with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) through no fault of our own. But regardless of the damage done at the hands of others, it becomes our responsibility to heal the wounds.
When we feel something in a deep way, it is imprinted into our subconscious, which has the ability to manifest our experiences not only through our memory but also in our body, in the form of stress and anxiety and even in illnesses if we allow ourselves to go along with it.
We usually move into a state of heightened awareness in our lives when we realise that we have developed patterns of behaviour and beliefs that keep presenting themselves in ways that don’t serve us and are generally causing us pain. Like choosing the wrong types of people to be in relationships with, or being stuck in jobs that don’t make us happy. Or maybe we suffer from a lack of confidence and cannot push ourselves out into the world to achieve what we truly desire. Whatever the consequence after enough pain, we begin to realise that we have to change, that we have to heal the parts of ourselves that got hurt and begin to integrate the parts we left behind.
When we begin the process of change it can be extremely uncomfortable, after such a length of time practising behaviours that don’t serve we still prefer to be in pain, instead of put ourselves into situations that do not guarantee outcome. We want to be certain and ready for what is to come, but in stepping into the unknown we put ourselves in situations where the subconscious part of our brains goes into red alert. ‘What if a new situation hurts you?’ ‘Best go back to what you know..even if the results are not what you want’
Just like an orange when squeezed, human beings expel whatever is inside them when triggered by people or outside resources. And others don’t forget when we hurt them.
Being a victim is a place people often stay in after a traumatic event, but as we know everyone tires of people that don’t seek help or try to help themselves.
So if we don’t heal our hurts we just end up hurting ourselves more, as we bleed out our pain on others. When we are defensive and protective due to fear of further hurt, we close our hearts and minds to love and connection, new people and possibilities. And our worlds become smaller.
It’s never too late to heal your hurts, to face the darkness that lies in the shadows of your life, yes it may be uncomfortable,but what is a life lived feeling unfulfilled and unloved?
Happiness is worth any risk, it’s what we are here for….