Dec 4, 2019 in Therapy
Teen insights on maternal madness
When a teenage girl can see right through her mom
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She (15 y/o) came into my office today with dark circles under her eyes speaking of exhaustion and communication failings. I assessed her health and mood and confirmed that she was in the process of scheduling an appointment with her primary care doctor. I asked all the pertinent questions about diet, exercise, and sleep. She told me she can feel the "eggshells" in the house. She shared her aggravation wtih knowing something is going on by noticing how her mom's emotions are bleeding all over everything but mom isn't directly talking about what is peripherally washing over the home.//collateral damage of sorts. She's avoiding the elephant. Does the teen need more information? Perhaps she needed less info historically and is now being cut off from the details, which could be totally justified.. Mom has previously conditioned their relationship during the divorce as her confidante, her best friend, rather than protecting her from the details and maintaing some of the informational hierarchy in the home. Mom is now editing herself and leaving her daughter dangling there with the emotion, but not the details... Mom now deals with real life adult junk herself and attempts to shield her daughter.
HEY PARENTS!! YOUR KIDS ARE SMART, THEY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHEN AN ESTABLISHED DYNAMIC IN THE HOME CHANGES, THEY CAN TELL. ..THIS STARTS AS YOUNG AS 7 YEARS OLD.
If this is something you're struggling with, you're not alone. I'm challenged by this as well in my own divorced home with my very own tween and I have a relatively functional relationshp with the co-parent. This is a common issue, let's talk about it if you need to!