Dealing with a selfish person can be difficult.
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Selfishness is behavior driven by self-preservation over collective preservation. This behavior exists in all human life units, from family to work and friends - not to mention among complete strangers.
Four give away signs of a selfish person.
Before dealing with a selfish person, however, it's important to first ensure they're not a narcissist.
A selfish person is a self-absorbed person who may not be narcissistic. But a narcissist is definitely a selfish person who takes it a step further to consciously hurt others. It’s important to make the distinction because the word narcissist is thrown around a lot when defining poor selfish choices, and entails a whole different set of behavioral factors.
With that out of the way, here are some clear giveaways of a selfish person.
Excessive concern with oneself.
When a partner or loved one takes more than they give in a relationship, platonic or romantic, they’re being selfish. They believe you need them more than they need you.
They will manipulate all outcomes to favor them. To achieve this they may use emotional blackmail, abuse, and controlling behavior.
A selfish person finds it hard to give or share with others. For example, when they say “if I can’t have you/it, no one else can” that is not a sign of love, it is a sign of selfishness.
Fear of failure.
Selfish people thrive on praise. As such, they can’t venture to try new endeavors. If they do so there is always a scapegoat to blame should things go south.
Tips on how to deal with selfish people.
Point it out.
Simply put-call them out. An upfront “I'm sorry, but you're being very selfish at the moment" is a sudden and jarring way to inspire the person to take a long hard look at what they're doing.
Focus on yourself.
Focusing on yourself starves the selfish person of the attention or waves they like to create with their behavior.
Seek the help of an Online Life Coach.
The best person to make lasting changes in a perennially selfish individual is a trained professional. If it's a partner, consider online life coaching together to get tips and guidance on how to deal with each other. Browse through our list of Online Life Coaches today and book a session!