Mar 13, 2023 in Life Coaching

What Kills Long-Distance Relationships

Here are the 8 biggest long-distance relationship killers and tips for preventing them.

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In this article, we will explore what kills long-distance relationships and provide tips on how to avoid these pitfalls.

Long-distance relationships can be challenging, but they can also be rewarding if both partners are willing to put in the effort. However, there are several factors that can contribute to the demise of a long-distance relationship.

8 Things that Kill Long-Distance Relationships and tips for Preventing Them

When you're in a long-distance relationship, it's easy to feel like there are things out there that are trying to kill it.

Whether it's the distance itself, or the stresses of daily life, there are plenty of things that can make your relationship feel like it's withering away. But what really kills long-distance relationships is not the things that are outside our control.

It's the things we do or don't do that make or break our relationships. The key to maintaining a long-distance relationship is to be aware of the things that can hurt it and try to avoid them as much as possible.

Let's dive into the top reasons and solutions for each one:


Lack of Communication

Communication is a key component of any relationship, but it’s especially important when it comes to long-distance relationships. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of not talking as much because you don’t see each other every day.

This lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and resentment, which can ultimately kill a long-distance relationship.

The tone and manner in which messages are communicated can also have an effect on the health of your relationship.

If there is an underlying current of negativity or criticism in your conversations, it can be hard to maintain a positive connection with your partner.

It’s important to remember that even though you may not be able to see each other every day, there are still ways to communicate effectively and respectfully with your partner.

Try to be mindful of the tone you are using when communicating with your partner and make sure that you are speaking in a way that conveys respect and understanding.

Take time out of each day to check in with each other, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Ask open-ended questions and really listen to what they have to say without judgment or criticism.

This will help both parties feel heard and valued in the relationship. It’s also important for couples in long-distance relationships to set aside quality time for each other. Schedule long-distance date nights where you can focus on spending quality time with one another without distractions.

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This will help create meaningful connections between the two of you and keep the relationship strong over time. The bottom line is that communication is essential for any successful relationship, especially long-distance ones.

By taking the time to communicate effectively and respectfully with one another, couples in long-distance relationships can avoid misunderstandings and create meaningful connections that will last over time.

Misunderstandings and Wrong Assumptions

Misunderstandings can arise when communication is not clear or when one partner misinterprets the other's words or actions. This can lead to unnecessary arguments and hurt feelings. In a long-distance relationship, where communication is often limited to phone calls and text messages, it's important to be extra careful with how you express yourself.

Assumptions are another common problem in long-distance relationships. When you don't see your partner on a regular basis, it's easy to assume things about their life that may not be true. For example, if your partner doesn't answer your call right away, you might assume they're ignoring you or that they're with someone else.

These assumptions can create unnecessary tension and mistrust in the relationship. To avoid misunderstandings and wrong assumptions in your long-distance relationship, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Don't be afraid to ask questions or clarify things that may seem unclear.

It's also important to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions without all the facts. In conclusion, misunderstandings and wrong assumptions can kill even the strongest of long-distance relationships.

By being mindful of these issues and actively working to communicate effectively with your partner, you can increase the chances of success in your relationship.

Inability to Spend Quality Time Together

One of the major challenges of a long-distance relationship is the inability to spend quality time together.

The lack of physical proximity and face-to-face interactions can make it difficult for partners to connect on a deeper level. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can ultimately strain the relationship.

To overcome this challenge, it's important for partners to make an effort to spend quality time together, even if they can't be physically present with each other. This can involve scheduling regular video calls, sending thoughtful messages or care packages, long-distance gifts and finding creative ways to stay connected despite the distance.

Additionally, it can be helpful to set goals for the future, such as planning visits or working towards a shared goal, to give the relationship a sense of purpose and direction.

It is recommended to coordinate and agree on specific times and days when both you and your partner can take days off from work to plan a vacation or visit each other.

Growing Apart Over Time

The clichéd image of a long-distance relationship is that of two lovers staring longingly at each other across an ocean, unable to be together due to the vast distance between them. But in reality, most long-distance relationships don't end because of the distance itself. Instead, it's usually the result of one or both partners gradually growing apart over time.

There are many factors that can contribute to this gradual drift, such as busy schedules, different interests and hobbies, and even changes in personality. If you're not careful, it's easy to let these things come between you and your partner until eventually you're barely even speaking to each other anymore.

Of course, this isn't always the case and there are plenty of couples who make their long-distance relationship work. But if you're finding that you and your partner are slowly growing apart, it's important to try and address the issue before it becomes irreparable.

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Struggling to Handle Jealousy and Doubts

When it comes to long-distance relationships, jealousy and doubts are two of the biggest killers. Jealousy can manifest itself in different ways - from questioning a partner's whereabouts to becoming suspicious of their intentions.

Doubts, on the other hand, can range from feeling unsure of your partner's feelings and commitment to doubting the future of your relationship. These issues can become even more pronounced when you and your significant other are living in different countries or states.

It’s easy to feel disconnected and out of touch with someone when they’re far away; that lack of physical contact can make it difficult to trust that your partner is being faithful and honest with you. That’s why communication is so important in long-distance relationships – you both need to be able to express how you’re feeling without fear of judgment or backlash.

It also helps if each partner is able to practice empathy toward one other. Understanding where the other person is coming from and trying not to take their words too personally. This isn't always easy, but it’s essential for making sure that neither of you develops an unnecessary sense of jealousy or doubt about the relationship.

A healthy dose of respect for one another is also key; if either partner feels like their opinion isn't valued, then this could lead to further resentment and mistrust.

Lastly, it's important for both partners in a long-distance relationship to make an effort to stay connected as much as possible. Making time for regular phone calls or video chats will help keep both parties feeling secure and reassured, which will lessen any feelings of jealousy or doubt they might have been experiencing.

By showing each other that they are still important in one another's lives, partners can help ensure that their relationship stands the test of distance.

Difficulty Scheduling Visits and Maintaining a Balance in the Relationship

There are many things that can kill a long-distance relationship, but one of the most common culprits is difficulty scheduling visits and maintaining a balance in the relationship. When you're in a long-distance relationship, it can be difficult to find times when you're both free to see each other.

This can lead to frustration and resentment on both sides as one person feels like they're always making sacrifices for the other. In addition, when you do manage to get together, it can be tricky to find activities that both people enjoy.

If one person feels like they're always giving up their plans for the other, they'll start to resent the relationship as well. To avoid these issues in your own long-distance relationship, it's important to be mindful of the difficulties inherent in such a situation.

Make sure you're both clear about your expectations and intentions from the start and try to be as flexible as possible with each other's schedules.

When you're able to strike this balance, your long-distance relationship is much more likely to succeed.

Having Different Priorities and Goals in Life

Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain, and there are many reasons why they fail. One of the biggest culprits is having different priorities and goals in life. When you and your partner have different plans for the future, it can be challenging to make a long-distance relationship work.

It's essential to be on the same page when it comes to your goals and priorities. If one of you wants to settle down and start a family, while the other wants to travel the world, it can create tension and conflict. It's crucial to have open communication about your plans for the future and see if they align with each other.

Another factor that can contribute to different priorities is career goals. If one of you has a demanding job that requires long hours or frequent travel, it can be hard to find time for each other. It's essential to support each other's careers, but also find ways to make time for your relationship. Ultimately, having different priorities and goals in life can be a deal-breaker for some couples.

It's important to have honest conversations about your future plans and see if they align with each other. If not, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and decide if it's worth continuing.

In conclusion, having different priorities and goals in life is one of the most common reasons why long-distance relationships fail. It's crucial to have open communication about your plans for the future and see if they align with each other.

Remember that compromise is key in any relationship, but sometimes it may not be enough.

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Financial Difficulties of Long-Distance Relationships

When two people are in a long-distance relationship, they often face many difficulties. One of the most difficult things to deal with is the financial aspect of the relationship.

Long-distance relationships can be very expensive, and many couples find themselves struggling to keep up with the costs. There are several things that can contribute to the financial difficulties of a long-distance relationship, and it is important to be aware of them so that you can plan accordingly.

One of the biggest expenses in a long-distance relationship is travel. If you want to visit your partner, you will likely have to pay for airfare, hotels, and other travel expenses. This can add up quickly, and it can be difficult to afford if you are not planning ahead. If you are not careful, this can become very expensive very quickly.

There are several ways to save money on travel bills in a long-distance relationship. One way is to plan your visits in advance so that you can take advantage of cheap airfare rates and keep an eye out for deals. There are also some great long-distance gadgets that you can invest in. 

By being aware of the potential financial difficulties that can arise in a long-distance relationship, you can be prepared and take steps to avoid them.


No one likes to feel helpless in a situation, especially when it involves something as important as a long-distance relationship.

If you're feeling like you and your partner are at a loss, don't hesitate to reach out for help. An Online Relationship Coach, Counselor, or Therapist can help you create solutions to the challenges you're facing.

Book a session with them today or ask a question in our "Discuss with Experts" to get FREE professional guidance and advice from others like you. 

They understand that long-distance relationships are hard and can provide the resources you need to get back on track. Don't give up on your long-distance relationship - get support you can trust now!

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