Jun 8, 2021 in Life Coaching

How to Attract Your Soulmate...

A soulmate is someone who comes to challenge you, to teach you, to help you to uncover parts of yourself.

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If there’s one question I get asked more than anything else when it comes to manifestation, it’s this: “Ann, how can I call in / attract my soulmate into my life?”

Remember, everything comes about in divine timing.

But before I explain exactly how to call in a soulmate relationship, I think it’s important to address what exactly a soulmate is. Yes, it can be that love of a lifetime that sweeps you off your feet and stays for a lifetime, but it also is so much more. A soulmate is someone who comes to challenge you, to teach you, to help you to uncover parts of yourself. A soulmate comes into your life not to complete you, but to bring you closer towards parts of yourself that you may have forgotten. They may stay for a long time, or their presence may be fleeting, but either way, their time in your life is a beautiful storm.

Soulmates, whether romantic or platonic- will become your greatest teachers. They will teach you more about yourself and the world than anyone else ever will.  They will challenge you in ways that you never thought were possible and oftentimes will force you to see things from new perspectives. 

Fact: Soulmates come when you least expect them.

So, if you’re looking to bring your soulmate closer to you, keep reading for my top tips and words of advice for bringing in these life-changing experiences.

Tip #1: Become Responsible for Your Own Healing

A soulmate may come into your life to help bring you healing, but it doesn’t mean that they’re going to do the healing for you. If you are truly ready to receive one of these relationships into your life, then you need to be seriously committed to your own healing. That means, taking responsibility for all of your actions, honoring the places where you feel stuck, and working to overcome these challenges by releasing traumas and letting go of resentments.

This may sound like a lot, but think of it this way: Would you want someone close to you (a partner, best friend, family member, etc.) to be projecting all of their insecurities, fears, and traumas onto you? Would you want them to blame their issues on you and suggest that it was your job to bring them healing? No, of course not! 

A soulmate relationship works the same way. Although they will bring you healing in a lot of ways, it is your responsibility to be able to carry this healing through to the end. It is your responsibility to ensure that your physical and mental wellbeing is put first, at all times, and isn’t put on the back-burner. Remember your values and boundaries. The person who appreciates that about you is the one who you are meant to be with. Trust your instinct and walk away from anyone who disrespects you.

Before you actively call in your soulmate relationship, make sure you are completely healed from past relationships. I was faced with the hard truth that I had a lot of healing work to get done before I would be ready for the next person to come into my life. So, I made time, did the work that nobody ever really wants to do. I phoned/messaged every person that I ended on bad terms with and apologized for hurting them and holding resentment. I began working on my self-love and practiced affirmations. I sought out reiki healers and coaches to help give me the tools to be able to process some of the things I had dealt with, and fully let them go. It has probably been just over a year- process of me actively purging everything that I had found was holding me back, and move into a state where all of those hindrances no longer bothered me.

And the reason it took me so long (I will fully admit) is due to my stubborn nature. It is incredibly hard for me to let things go and let them roll off of my shoulders. And, since I had never stepped into this kind of work before, I was also dealing with uncharted territories. All of this combined meant that it took me a little while to be able to fully sink in and adjust to doing this work at its full capacity.

If reading about the timeline of my healing stresses you out, trust me, you are not alone. I remember reading about other people's healing journeys as I was about to embark on mine and feeling like it was such a slow process. I questioned whether or not it would be worth it or if I should just give up and resort to living my life as I always had. 

But then I remembered a familiar saying: Nothing worth having ever comes easy.

It’s no use sitting in the comfort zone and worrying yourself over how long it will take to accomplish something. Just take your focus off the timeline and begin to shift your focus back towards yourself. Focus on your journey, focus on each step forward, and focus on feeling good along the way. I promise you, once you do that, everything will seem to fall in place just a little bit faster. The work is absolutely worth it, and everything will bloom exactly as it should, in perfect timing. Just trust the process. 

Tip #2: Take Your Hands Off the Wheel and Stop Trying to Control

Soulmate relationships

As humans, one thing I’ve come to learn is that we are inherent control freaks. We try to control everything in our lives, from our healing to our success to how quickly we’re able to manifest something. So many people cling to these specific timelines of when they want something to get done or accomplished by and in the end, all they end up doing is disappointing themselves. 

Here’s a hard truth: nothing ever manifests according to your timeline.

Now, I’m not trying to sound cynical or like I’m discouraging you from dreaming your biggest dreams. By all means, allow yourself to dream big! Imagine what it would feel like you have everything you could ever want or have things play out in the most idealist manner. But, don’t allow yourself to get so hung up on these dreams, that you’re disappointed by anything else.

I have been blessed to manifest many things in my life and one thing that I’ve learned is that no matter how well you think something plays out in your head, nothing ever manifests the way that you expect it to. You can try and think that you’ve got things worked out, but the universe always has a plan. And most of the time, this plan ends up exceeding yours.

So, allow yourself to be open to this. Allow yourself to release this need to control your outside circumstances and be open to things manifesting beyond your wildest expectations. Allow yourself to be open to however the universe wants to bring into your life and just focus on feeling good along the way. Instead of visualizing how a specific circumstance will play out, focus on how good you feel in that moment. Focus on how good it feels to be in the presence of this person and how good it feels to finally meet them and have them in your life. Don't worry about how or when they will come. Know that they will come when you are both truly ready. Your only job is to feel good in the process.

Tip #3: Get Specific About What You Want, and Be Prepared to Get it

The best example I like to give when manifesting anything is the example of ordering pasta at a restaurant. Say you’re going to have dinner at a nice Italian restaurant, and as you drive there, all you can think about is a big bowl of pasta in a nice, creamy white sauce. As you sit down and get ready to tell the waiter your order, you decide to tell them that you want a bowl of pasta - that’s it. You wait patiently for it to arrive, and when it does, you’re greeted with a bowl of pasta smothered in a creamy tomato sauce. You’re disappointed - you wanted a white sauce, not a tomato sauce! You think the waiter must have heard you incorrectly and you send your order back.

This example is exactly what I see happening when people try to manifest, time after time again. They place their order with the universe by setting their intention, yet they’re disappointed by the outcome because they weren’t specific enough about what they wanted. In this example, the order was placed correctly, in a sense. You ordered pasta and what you got was indeed pasta! But, you weren’t specific enough about the kind of pasta you wanted, and thus, you ended up with a sauce that wasn’t what you intended. 

Manifesting a partner works kind of the same way.

One common problem I see when people are trying to manifest a partner is that they don’t get specific enough about what they want for a fear that what they want doesn’t exist. They’ve been told time and time again that their standards are too high and that the person that they are desiring doesn’t exist. Trust me, I know this to be true because I’d been told this most of my life. I had a distinct “list” of all the qualities that I had desired in someone, yet whenever I shared this list with others, I was told how unrealistic it was. I would hear time and time again that the person that I desired couldn't possibly exist- people just weren’t like that. Remember you are in control, not your friends and not your family.

When it comes to manifesting a partner who embodies all of the qualities that you desire, hold firm to what you believe in, and don’t let anyone sway your judgment on it. You want what you want because your higher self desires it for you. Trust that what you want exists and wants you just the way you are. 

Tip #4: Trust in Divine Timing

Once you have done all the above - you have set your intention, stayed true to what you desire, and taken your hands off the wheel of control, the last step is to simply trust in the divine timing of things. Your soulmate, dream partner, etc., will come to you when the timing is right and when you are truly ready to receive them. As hard as this may sound, trust that all is unfolding as it should, and is unfolding in perfect timing.

The reality is, as humans we don’t like to wait for things. We live in a digital age where everything is instantaneous, and oftentimes we expect our love lives to operate the same way. Especially with online dating/dating apps now being more popular than ever, we tend to get discouraged if the partner that we seek doesn’t appear within a few months of searching.

But, like noted earlier, they won’t come when we’re actively searching for them - that’s holding on tight to your desire and not letting it go. They will come when you have let go and surrendered all “control”. And, furthermore, they will come when you are ready. Sometimes we have to learn certain lessons and go through certain heartbreak before we are truly ready to be with the person that we desire. This isn’t always the case, and sometimes the manifestation is damn-near instantaneous. But for those of you who are still in your season of waiting, wishing, and wanting, remember that the Universe probably has other experiences lined up that you need to go through before you can have that person you desire. 

The last thing you want is to go through some potentially traumatic experience when you could, hypothetically, be with your person right now. Trust that there is a greater meaning to your “delay”, and that one day you will look back and be grateful that it happened. You will see how your person couldn’t have come at any other time, in any other way. Even if it seems like things are far away or distant now, trust that they will all begin to line up later, when the timing is absolutely perfect. I mean, you want a fully baked cookie, not a half-baked one, right? 

If you are looking to manifest love and call in your soulmate, these are the perfect action steps to take towards calling them in. But remember, while doing the work is important, it’s only half the battle. Allowing yourself to get into the receiving mode and having faith that your desire will come in spite of your inaction is the other half. `Trust the process, trust the timing of things, and when everything is aligned perfectly right, you will experience the most magical love.

Original article: https://annverster.com/f/how-to-attract-your-soulmate

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