Sep 21, 2021 in Life Coaching
How to Write Your Letter to the Universe
An article about writing a Letter to the 'Universe' to make the Law of Attraction works for you so you can get what you want
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
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I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Getting what you want can be approached differently: some start with visualization, others with hard work, some wait, and others still might think really hard on it. From my experience, a combination of focus and action is needed in the right balance. A technique I've discovered to achieve optimal focus is known as ‘the letter to the Universe.’
In this document, I refer to the ‘Universe’ as this powerful energy that is around us, but of course, feel free to call it whatever name works for you: God or the Quantum Field, for instance.
Writing a Letter to the Universe can help you if:
- You want to state what you want.
- You want to attract what you want.
- You want to visualize yourself and your future self.
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Let me start with a story about how this letter to the Universe came into my life. In August 2015, I started my Bachelor at Maastricht University in the Netherlands. I’ve had a few boyfriends and one ‘serious relationship’ that lasted for nine months (when you’re 16, it feels like an eternity).
Once installed in my new room under the roof of a house I used to share with four or five other students, I wondered if it was maybe time for me to get into a long-term relationship. After a few days – almost by coincidence – I found myself reading an article on the internet about writing a letter to the Universe to find my ideal partner. Feeling a bit skeptical, I decided to give it a shot anyway. After all, I had nothing to lose.
The article advised me first to look back at my previous relationship and write down what I liked and what I disliked (and turned those aspects into positive ones). For instance, instead of stating, “I don’t want to be with a lazy person,” I would write down, “I want to be with someone who likes doing the same activities as me.”
This letter’s goal was to create the ideal person I wanted to be without focusing on a specific real person like Liam Hemsworth, for instance, *blushing*. In this letter, I added every criterion I wanted to find in this ideal person, from the personality traits to the physical criteria like hair color, age, height, etc. Once written, I signed the letter and put it away in one of my desk’s drawers.
A few months later, in January 2016, I fell in love with an incredible man who is now my fiancé. Being at the beginning of our relationship, I decided to look back at my letter out of curiosity. Surprisingly, apart from the age aspect (he is slightly older than the age I wrote down), every element of the letter matched who he was. I was blown away. From that day on, I decided to write a yearly letter to the Universe for the upcoming year.
Maybe you already found your ideal person, or perhaps you’re not looking for it. In either case, a letter to the Universe can also be about your life in general or its different aspects (family, healthy, career, finances, etc.).
Time-related, I prefer to write a letter for each new upcoming year. I tend to write it either in the last month of the previous year (December) or in the first year of that new year (January). But of course, you can write a letter for the next 3, 6 or 9 following months. However, I wouldn’t write a new letter every 2 or 3 weeks because you might send confusing signals to the Universe, and you also want to give it some time to offer you what you want.
So, the question is: how do you write it?
You can find numerous articles and videos about writing this letter, so don’t take my word for granted. I am only sharing with you what works for me.
Laptop or Handwriting?
Well, it depends on what you prefer. I like to write it by hand on a nice piece of paper. I believe it activates the connection between the brain and the body differently from writing on the laptop.
But of course, you’re free to choose what works best for you and what you feel most comfortable with. For instance, I prefer to write on paper, but my fiancé prefers to write it on his laptop.
Make Yourself Comfortable
Writing this letter is time for yourself and is personal. Make sure to find a nice and quiet spot where you can write for 30 minutes or even an hour if you want. If you intended to write your letter on D-day, but you do not feel good, a bit cranky, stressed, or down, then move it to another day. The better you feel, the better your letter will be.
*Note: If you are depressed or in burnout, for instance, and you cannot find a moment in which you feel good, I’d advise you to write it when your emotional state is neutral, not great, but not horrible either.
I always start my letters with “Dear Universe…” followed by a paragraph (that you can make as long as you want) about the grateful things you received in the previous year or months. If you have some difficulties finding these aspects, focus on the small things in your life. Maybe it’s a cup of tea that made you feel cozy or relaxed, or a good discussion with a friend, or a nice meal that you had.
This part is important because it is a good thing to want things from life, but I believe that the more grateful we are, the more we will open ourselves to receive more. If you’re going to enjoy more significant events that you want to have in your life (getting married, traveling, becoming rich, or having a baby), make sure that you enjoy the small things around you. How can you enjoy the big events if you can’t enjoy the small ones?
Fears and Doubts
Some articles suggest that you also share your fears and doubts about what you want in your letter. Writing about these fears or heavy emotions is a great idea, but I’d do it on a separate piece of paper. The letter’s concept focuses on the good things you want for yourself and your life.
And if you decide to read your letter now and then, going through your fears, doubts, or heavy emotions might not send the best signals. Writing is powerful when it comes to self-healing, so if you feel the need to share them, I’d suggest doing it on a separate piece of paper or note.
What Do You Want?
The next part of the letter leads you to write what you want for yourself and your life.
1. What Are Your Values?
If you don’t know what you want, that’s alright. In that case, I’d suggest first finding or re-defining your core values by going back to who you are and your identity before moving forward.
In our past and our present, we are continually influenced by our external world. From the school where we were to our friends, family, colleagues, or partners, people and organizations daily affect us with their values.
If you stay in touch long enough with them, you might end up integrating them as if they were yours, leading you to think that you have many values (some goes up to 20 if not 30). While in reality, we ‘only’ have 3 or 4 core values. Hence, to know what you want, you might want to align yourself first by finding these core values.
*Note: We can set up a coaching session to find your core values, or you can do the exercise inspired by the book Dare to Lead by Brené Brown that I will explain in another PDF file.
2. What If You Still Don’t Know?
As a society, we are strongly driven by the belief that “we should have a purpose in life and know what we want, no matter what.” That’s not the case, and you definitely shouldn’t force yourself to know what you want in a desperate way.
Sometimes the best way is to do nothing, enjoy the present moment and see where it leads. The more you will accept who you are right now and enjoy the now, the easier it will be to find what you want. In that case, your letter to the Universe could be as simple as “I want to find out who I am or what I want.”
Key Principles to Write the Letter
Now, let’s go back to the situation in which you know what you want for yourself. I have five fundamental principles in this context:
1. Be As Specific As Possible
It’s one thing to know that you want to earn 1 Million dollars or euros, but it’s another thing to know WHY you need them and WHAT you will do with this amount of money. So this might be a good time for you to look at your expenses, the luxury life you want to have, and how much you need. For instance: how much your dream house would cost? How much would you need to spend to travel the world? Or how much does it cost to fly in the Premium Class?
When I refer to being specific, I mainly refer to the What, When, Where, and sometimes Why. Where do you want to live? When do you want to change your career? What is your ideal dream job?
To make it easier for myself, I tend to write the letter by dividing my life into different areas such as family, friends, adventure, love, professional life, spirituality, studies, finances, nutrition, sports, hobbies, among others. If some aspects seem less relevant to you, it’s also okay not to include them. Only focus on the areas of your life that matter to you right now.
2. Contradictory Desires
Another important point refers to the way your desires and wishes might contradict each other. For instance, if you wrote a letter for the upcoming year but after three months, you decide to write another letter for a shorter period; then, make sure that your desires on both letters don’t contradict each other.
For instance, if you explain on the one-year letter that you want to move to a new place, but that on the shorter letter you explain that you want to finish renovating the house in which you are living; then your focus will be divided, and you might receive mixed signals.
Similarly, if you want to make twice more money than you are making now, or get a beautiful brand new Porsche for yourself, but when you see ‘rich’ people driving their Tesla or Ferrari, you start criticizing them will also send and so receive, mixed signals. After all, how can you receive something that you criticize or despise?
3. No’s and Generalization
Additionally, you want to write the best letter that matches what you want for yourself and your life, which (and stop me if I’m mistaken) very often refers to good things, or at least, better things. By writing what you want in ways like “I don’t want/ without/shouldn’t/ cannot/ never/ against,” among others, you will increase the chance to send conflicting signals. Finally, you might also want to avoid generalization (always, never, everybody, no one, etc.) and focus on specific aspects. For instance, you could say:
“I want to receive my master’s degree in June 2020” or “I want to make five new friends” or “I want to have a strong and resistant immune system.”
4. Ask something for someone else.
It is okay to want the best for the ones you love. You want them to be happy, healthy, or successful. You can state that in your letter, if it is important to you; however, I would avoid writing specifically about what you want for them to happen in their lives.
For instance, you could say that you want your partner to be happy and successful rather than asking that s/he starts making x amount of money by finding a new job or creating his or her own business. Unless you explicitly agree with the other person, you might ask for two different things, which will send mixed - if not contradictory - signals. In other words, the other person might want something completely different from what you ask for him or her. Focus on your own life.
5. Not a To-do List
Finally, the letter to the Universe is not a to-do list. So if while writing, you feel that this is becoming a detailed grocery list rather than a visualization list through bullet points or paragraphs, you might want to take a step back and re-think it.
I like to write in bullet points, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it becomes a to-do list. Here is an example:
- Fix the closet
- Renovate the bedroom
- Write an article
- Plan the birthday
- Call the insurance company.
Letter to the Universe in Bullet points categorized by life’s aspects:
- Visit them at least x times
- Spend more time with them
- Double my active income by the end of the year
- Start investing x amount of money.
- Studies or Career
- Be promoted as…
- Pass all my exams and receive x grade for each
- Build my business…
- Eat healthier (more vegetables, fruits, etc.)
- Become stronger through work out
- Learn x language or skill
- Travel to x place in …
The line between both can get somewhat blurred. The letter's idea is that you visualize the new you for the upcoming months or the next year rather than stating what you need to do.
If you are entirely down to earth as my fiancé is and want more scientific proof about how this letter works, I have four words for you: The Law of Attraction. Your brain is a problem-solving machine, meaning that whatever problem you will give to it will automatically start finding solutions without waiting after you.
The more specific the question is, the easier it will be for your subconscious to provide solutions and alternatives. When you give a problem to your subconscious, it will start looking at life differently, which might lead you to see or hear things that were next to you for a long time but that you only perceive now.
Hence, the most important thing about this letter is that your ONLY job focuses on the WHAT. Leave the HOW to your subconscious. The more trust you will give to your subconscious, the easier it will be to provide alternatives and solutions. If you want a more scientific explanation, check my book summary of Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza (https://www.dev-yourself.com/reviews/breaking-the-habit-of-being-yourself-dr-joe-dispenza/).
Sign the Letter
Signing the letter is a way for you to pass a contract with yourself and the Universe consciously. I usually end my letters with: “I agree with this letter. Signed Aurélia on the xx/xx/xx”.
You can also take some time to write the first draft of the letter; in the end, the aim is to create a letter with fewer mistakes and scribbles as possible. You want to send clear signals to the Universe by clearly stating and writing what you want.
Wishing you all the best to you and your subconscious, always remember that the Universe is on your side.
*Note: If you encounter some difficulties writing the letter or have some questions, please contact me via the links below.
- Check my website www.dev-yourself.com for books’ summaries and reviews and its Instagram Account @dev.yourself
- Check my website www.dev-yourlife.com for more: PDF’s, articles about coaching, workshops (both online or face-to-face), and coaching sessions (online or face-to-face as well). You can also follow me on Instagram: @dev.yourlife!