Jul 21, 2023 in Life Coaching

How to Get Back to Happy

Have you ever felt as though the “deck” is stacked against you? Where every move you make feels wrong?

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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??

My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help

Answer 134 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

17 Jan

Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him

Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?

Answer 112 answers • 6 Experts joined

Huttslady

17 Jan

Help

We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?

Answer 111 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

17 Jan

Idk what to do

My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them

Answer 79 answers • 6 Experts joined

Ashleigh

17 Jan

Lost and confused at a crossroads

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling

Answer 81 answers • 4 Experts joined

Diya Singh

17 Jan

How can I get my teen to confide in me

I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this

Answer 153 answers • 15 Experts joined

Mommy22

17 Jan

What do I do?

I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.

Answer 122 answers • 6 Experts joined

John Hayward

17 Jan

I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.

He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?

Answer 116 answers • 4 Experts joined

Martha Diaz

17 Jan

Shared custody

It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?

Answer 73 answers • 5 Experts joined

Christie

17 Jan

What should I do?

My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD

Answer 72 answers • 3 Experts joined

How to Get Back to Happy

Have you ever felt as though the “deck” is stacked against you? Where every move you make feels wrong? That you are constantly being “kicked while you are down?” Well, my friends, much like you (I am guessing), I have had years like that! You may even be in a bad spell, not to worry, I’ve got you! We can turn it around! No matter what got you into this cycle, it comes down to thought. Stay with me…

Recently something very traumatic happened to me. I won’t go into detail about it, to protect the not so innocent. It triggered me in the most profound way. It hit on a trifecta: abandonment, imposed helplessness, and betrayal of trust. Then other things seemed to fall apart. I felt sick inside, things that I knew to be true, did not turn out to be the way, that I thought. Ever been there? I bet you have.

So, me, being a practical optimist, started to battle my way back to happiness and you can too when you are ready…because what I am about to suggest will make you want to come up with a lot of “yeah, buts” or you may want to slap me…Here it goes, once you have grieved and worked through the pain. Try your best to center your thoughts on the present. People in my world make it seem easy, but I know it isn’t always that way.

Part of me wants to wallow in sadness or blame other people for what they said and did, and how profoundly sad it made me. When the sadness hits me, I gently remind myself that what had happened was over and done. What was threatened did not come to be and that I can be flexible with my thoughts. You see, I can choose. I can choose to say to myself, I have learned the lesson that I was meant to learn. That God still has my back, and I am wiser than I was before. The past is not where I live. I can make the conscious choice to not dwell in thoughts of my past. I can ground myself in the present and move on despite the loss and the pain. I know if I choose not to pick out those kinds of thoughts to focus on that they will come less often and scabs can form on my heart, and when that tissue forms, I can start to mend and not bring the trauma up and remind myself that I will not put myself in that position again.

When the scabs fall away, my heart has had time to mend. I can smile again, risk my heart again and start to see the warning signs earlier…I can live in the happiness of the present moment again, because that my friends is where happiness lies, right here right now.