Jul 21, 2023 in Life Coaching

How to Get Back to Happy

Have you ever felt as though the “deck” is stacked against you? Where every move you make feels wrong?

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How to Get Back to Happy

Have you ever felt as though the “deck” is stacked against you? Where every move you make feels wrong? That you are constantly being “kicked while you are down?” Well, my friends, much like you (I am guessing), I have had years like that! You may even be in a bad spell, not to worry, I’ve got you! We can turn it around! No matter what got you into this cycle, it comes down to thought. Stay with me…

Recently something very traumatic happened to me. I won’t go into detail about it, to protect the not so innocent. It triggered me in the most profound way. It hit on a trifecta: abandonment, imposed helplessness, and betrayal of trust.  Then other things seemed to fall apart. I felt sick inside, things that I knew to be true, did not turn out to be the way, that I thought. Ever been there? I bet you have.

So, me, being a practical optimist, started to battle my way back to happiness and you can too when you are ready…because what I am about to suggest will make you want to come up with a lot of “yeah, buts” or you may want to slap me…Here it goes, once you have grieved and worked through the pain. Try your best to center your thoughts on the present. People in my world make it seem easy, but I know it isn’t always that way.

Part of me wants to wallow in sadness or blame other people for what they said and did, and how profoundly sad it made me. When the sadness hits me, I gently remind myself that what had happened was over and done. What was threatened did not come to be and that I can be flexible with my thoughts. You see, I can choose. I can choose to say to myself, I have learned the lesson that I was meant to learn. That God still has my back, and I am wiser than I was before. The past is not where I live. I can make the conscious choice to not dwell in thoughts of my past. I can ground myself in the present and move on despite the loss and the pain. I know if I choose not to pick out those kinds of thoughts to focus on that they will come less often and scabs can form on my heart, and when that tissue forms, I can start to mend and not bring the trauma up and remind myself that I will not put myself in that position again.

When the scabs fall away, my heart has had time to mend. I can smile again, risk my heart again and start to see the warning signs earlier…I can live in the happiness of the present moment again, because that my friends is where happiness lies, right here right now.


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