Sep 12, 2022 in Life Coaching
What do you do when you make a mistake? Do you lie? Do you own it? Can you learn from it?
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
How do you feel when you make a mistake? Do you feel ashamed or diminished in some way? Do you own it? It can be hard the first time you own up to your own behavior. In my career, working with emotionally disturbed people, I have had to model making mistakes and facing the consequences. Depending on the client’s intellectual capability, I “make” minor mistakes or on purposes. Let me give you an example: I misspelled a word on the blackboard and said “Oops! I spelled it wrong.” I erased the word and then wrote it out correctly. I DID NOT act out-there was no yelling or screaming and I did not throw a tantrum. One more example: At a place I was working one of the teachers asked me to write an email about a child. She told me to use the person’s first name and last initial. It didn’t seem right to me to use their name, but she assured me it was okay, she proofed it and then I sent it. As I was going to lunch later, the office secretary called me into the office. In there were two administrators, one of them asked to speak to me. We went into the conference room, and she asked me if I wrote the email. I was thinking “Oh crap! I knew that wasn’t right.” I swallowed hard and said “Yes.” I did not give an explanation, I just owned it because even though I was encouraged to write it in the manner that I did, it was my responsibility. The reason that what I did was important is, that if the email had got out, someone “might” be able to identify the child. So, it was a potential breach of confidentiality. I assured the Admin. that I now knew what I did was wrong and that I would never do it again. She stood there just looking at me. You see, she had expected me to lie and cover myself. She finally said I could go to lunch, and I was expected back at my usual time.
What is it about us humans that makes it difficult to accept that sometimes we are wrong? Why do we want to lie or get mad if our errors are discovered by someone else? My telling the truth about my error could have sacked my career, instead because I owned it, I became known by the people who knew, as someone who was trustworthy and honest. It made my reputation. They could have fired me, but they did not.
I have seen both children and adults throw absolute, knock down-drag out tantrums when they make mistakes. It is about ego, plain and simple. We want to be right and perfect. Maybe people freak out when they make a mistake because it means they are not perfect. I say, “Welcome to the human race!”
We were not born to be perfect; we were born to learn, grow and evolve and the only way to do that is to…wait for it…MAKE MISTAKES. I used to let my kids have natural consequences whenever it was not harmful. I did not argue with them about wearing a coat outside, even if it was cold. I would tell them to wear it because it was cold and If they refused and went out coatless, nine times out of ten they would sheepishly come in and grab their coats. I did not say a word about it.
Even the Bible says, forgive your mistakes (sins, transgressions, trespasses) as you forgive others. It does not say just forgive others, but forgive yourself, as well. Everyone on this planet has made a mistake at one time or another. It is okay to do so. What happens next is what is crucial, do we own it? Learn from it? Lie?