Aug 2, 2023 in Life Coaching

What to Do When You Discover it’s Not About You

Growth routinely begins when selfish people awake from the mental sedative that made them think, life was all about them.

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If you find yourself struggling when you discover that life is not all albout you, consider the following:


Tip #1 - Get Over It


We all have moments when we realize that life is not all about us. It can be shocking, but it's important to remember that this is part of the growth process. Everyone goes through this. To Get Over It, remember that receiving all the attention or being neglected does not define you. Nor does this make you any less valuable. The most important thing to do when you find out it’s not about you is to take a step back and consider how your actions may have contributed to the let down. 


Tip #2 - Manage Your Expectations


When managing your expectations, it's natural to want recognition and validation. The question is “Why”? The outside environment should not be given so much credit, that what you think about you is buried.  Only the Creator can give you everything that you need. Be sure to be mindful of the fact that those around you may not have the capacity or ability to meet all of your needs. Consider how much people are able to give in their life and adjust your expectations accordingly.


Tip #3 - Join the Journey Towards Your Dreams 

Too often, people move when others tell them to move. This should not be so. Gain a greater sense of confidence such that you are sure to own your journey and move when it is best for you. Your dreams are unique to you, so don’t allow anyone else to tell you how to pursue them. Keep your focus on the end goal and find ways to make those steps smaller that will help you reach them.


Tip #4 - Practice Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is a powerful tool that enables us to make meaningful changes in our lives. It allows us to analyze our thoughts, feelings and actions so we can better understand how they fit into the bigger picture. While it is not about you, you are the star of the show, at least until you recognize the relevance of the Director. Even still, take some time each day or week to reflect on your purpose and your progress, identify areas for improvement and adjust accordingly. 


Tip #5 - Motivate Yourself

The practice of self motivation is connected to your sense of purpose and will help keep you moving in the direction of your goals more than anything else. A strong purpose, make for sound decisions, which then provide insight into your personal Why. 


Motivation is key to sustaining momentum. Acknowledge your successes and celebrate them, even if they’re small. Celebrate milestones along the way, set small achievable goals and reward yourself when you reach them. Visualize how it will feel to achieve what you’re working toward and remind yourself that success is closer than you think. 


Tip #6 - Labor to Rest

Find time to relax and recharge. This could be anything from taking a break, to reading your favorite book or listening to relaxing music. Establishing a daily practice of self-care will nourish the mind and body and help to maintain balance in your life. During times of stress, learn how to pause, take deep breaths, become mindful and exercise control over your emotions. Pick a day to do nothing and don’t feel guilty. The best thoughts flow when we are at rest.


Tip #7 - Write it Down

Journaling can be an effective tool to declutter your mind and keep track of goals. Writing down any thoughts, feelings, ideas or plans can help you gain clarity and perspective on what matters most. There is something about writing that helps us organize our thoughts in a meaningful way. Plus it’s fun to look back on progress made over time. Something special happens when you read what you write and speak what you wrote.


Tip #8 - Exercise

Regular physical activity has a remarkable effect on mental and emotional well-being. It releases endorphins, which trigger positive feelings in the body that can help combat stress and anxiety. We’re not talking about the P90X program, unless that is your thing. Exercise also helps us focus on physical sensations rather than worrying. Whether it’s running, walking, swimming or golfing — find something you enjoy and make it part of your daily routine. You will soon discover that the benefits go far beyond improved physical health.


Tip #9 - Pray

Prayer is actually a two way communication tool. One sided conversations are not as effective as two way communication. Once you pray, listen. Some call it meditation, which has been practiced for centuries. It helps us stay present in the moment and focus on our resting — rather than worrying or ruminating about topics like work or relationships. Studies show that people who practice prayer and meditation are less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, stress and other mental health issues.


Tip #10 - Get a Support System

No man or woman is an island. We all need support systems in our lives — whether it’s family, friends or professionals. Discussing your feelings with someone can be extremely helpful. A good support system; however, will help you move things along. Otherwise, the session becomes a rehearsal of loss, regret, and complaints. The right people will challenge you to grow beyond the issue and become more even after major issues. 

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