Aug 2, 2023 in Life Coaching
What to Do When You Discover it’s Not About You
Some people make no apologies about their desire to get what they want. but in the long run this is a recipe for disaster.
It's your turn now! Let's support each other by clicking "Helpful".
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
If you find yourself struggling when you discover that life is not all albout you, consider the following:
Tip #1 - Get Over It
We all have moments when we realize that life is not all about us. It can be shocking, but it's important to remember that this is part of the growth process. Everyone goes through this. To Get Over It, remember that receiving all the attention or being neglected does not define you. Nor does this make you any less valuable. The most important thing to do when you find out it’s not about you is to take a step back and consider how your actions may have contributed to the let down.
Tip #2 - Manage Your Expectations
When managing your expectations, it's natural to want recognition and validation. The question is “Why”? The outside environment should not be given so much credit, that what you think about you is buried. Only the Creator can give you everything that you need. Be sure to be mindful of the fact that those around you may not have the capacity or ability to meet all of your needs. Consider how much people are able to give in their life and adjust your expectations accordingly.
Tip #3 - Join the Journey Towards Your Dreams
Too often, people move when others tell them to move. This should not be so. Gain a greater sense of confidence such that you are sure to own your journey and move when it is best for you. Your dreams are unique to you, so don’t allow anyone else to tell you how to pursue them. Keep your focus on the end goal and find ways to make those steps smaller that will help you reach them.
Tip #4 - Practice Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is a powerful tool that enables us to make meaningful changes in our lives. It allows us to analyze our thoughts, feelings and actions so we can better understand how they fit into the bigger picture. While it is not about you, you are the star of the show, at least until you recognize the relevance of the Director. Even still, take some time each day or week to reflect on your purpose and your progress, identify areas for improvement and adjust accordingly.
Tip #5 - Motivate Yourself
The practice of self motivation is connected to your sense of purpose and will help keep you moving in the direction of your goals more than anything else. A strong purpose, make for sound decisions, which then provide insight into your personal Why.
Motivation is key to sustaining momentum. Acknowledge your successes and celebrate them, even if they’re small. Celebrate milestones along the way, set small achievable goals and reward yourself when you reach them. Visualize how it will feel to achieve what you’re working toward and remind yourself that success is closer than you think.
Tip #6 - Labor to Rest
Find time to relax and recharge. This could be anything from taking a break, to reading your favorite book or listening to relaxing music. Establishing a daily practice of self-care will nourish the mind and body and help to maintain balance in your life. During times of stress, learn how to pause, take deep breaths, become mindful and exercise control over your emotions. Pick a day to do nothing and don’t feel guilty. The best thoughts flow when we are at rest.
Tip #7 - Write it Down
Journaling can be an effective tool to declutter your mind and keep track of goals. Writing down any thoughts, feelings, ideas or plans can help you gain clarity and perspective on what matters most. There is something about writing that helps us organize our thoughts in a meaningful way. Plus it’s fun to look back on progress made over time. Something special happens when you read what you write and speak what you wrote.
Tip #8 - Exercise
Regular physical activity has a remarkable effect on mental and emotional well-being. It releases endorphins, which trigger positive feelings in the body that can help combat stress and anxiety. We’re not talking about the P90X program, unless that is your thing. Exercise also helps us focus on physical sensations rather than worrying. Whether it’s running, walking, swimming or golfing — find something you enjoy and make it part of your daily routine. You will soon discover that the benefits go far beyond improved physical health.
Tip #9 - Pray
Prayer is actually a two way communication tool. One sided conversations are not as effective as two way communication. Once you pray, listen. Some call it meditation, which has been practiced for centuries. It helps us stay present in the moment and focus on our resting — rather than worrying or ruminating about topics like work or relationships. Studies show that people who practice prayer and meditation are less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, stress and other mental health issues.
Tip #10 - Get a Support System
No man or woman is an island. We all need support systems in our lives — whether it’s family, friends or professionals. Discussing your feelings with someone can be extremely helpful. A good support system; however, will help you move things along. Otherwise, the session becomes a rehearsal of loss, regret, and complaints. The right people will challenge you to grow beyond the issue and become more even after major issues.
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