What Are You Expecting?

As a Coach, I often deal with many clients who have difficulty in their relationships due to lack of communication. This then leads to expectations not being met and negative presumptions about each other being made. None of this is healthy.

So how do you deal with a lack of communication in your relationship?

As with everything in life, the first important rule is not to point the finger. It's never so much about what your partner is not doing in the relationship, as to what you are feeling and projecting out into the relationship.

Playing victim to circumstance will only cause you to go deeper into feeling let down by your partner, which can never lead to a resolution. You have to gain clarity on where you stand within the context of the situation.

How do you do this?

1. Get clear on what you want from the relationship and from the situation. Do you just want to prove that you are right all the time, or do you actually want the situation resolved where both of you are left feeling good?

2. Get solution orientated. If the solution to the situation calls for you to change your viewpoint on things and consider their feelings, are you prepared to do this, so things can get better? How do you feel about doing this? If you feel that it makes you weak, maybe a perception change is needed here.

3. Change the scenery. Sometimes stepping away from the environment together and seeking neutral ground for a few days, can bring you closer and open the lines of communication again.

Whatever choice of action you choose to take, remember that in order for any problems to be resolved, you need to get out of your head and take the 'observer' view of everything. You need to stop asking why or how and force things to go your way...sometimes you just need to breathe and head back in with a fresh outlook to it all, without taking everything too personally.

It works wonders!