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Sep 3, 2019 in 

What Do You Want?

Do you know what you want from your intimate relationships/life? This knowledge can help strengthen your relationships.

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Rita Hurry

Life Coach

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Relationships are never easy, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. Remember you are dealing with two different personalities, different upbringings and just different outlooks on life. But that doesn't mean that this is an excuse to complain or to give up.

Some relationships work and some don't work out. But I often find when working with clients and even personally speaking to friends and family and my own personal experience, that many of us don't really know what we want.

You know the outline of what you want from a relationship, but when 'shit hits the fan' (pardon the expression), do you react to your partners actions or do you get clear and look at the situation objectively and look at your role in the relationship and ask yourself what you want from this outcome?

Often the answer is no. It all becomes a reaction game. The relationship either ends badly or you both get past the glitch and stay together.

Now I am not saying what is right or wrong here - but your aim should always be to always have clarity, to not be dependent on the other to carry the relationship and to stay aware of your role in your relationships.

The bottom line is - in relationships you are not responsible for your partner and likewise, they are not responsible for you.

We all are infinite powerful human beings, who have the ability to give ourselves the love we seek. Your relationships are there to enhance what you give yourself already and to add value to your life experience. Not to mend you or carry you. That is 100% your own responsibility.

This is why it is so important to always be aware of what you want from yourself and the relationship you are in.

In my book - 'Law of Attraction Living: The Core', (available on Amazon), I dedicate a whole chapter to relationships (intimate and platonic) and I mention how important it is to enjoy each other and not focus on expectations from each other.

Knowing what you want is not about expecting certain things from your partner, it's about knowing yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths.  It's about pulling the good things from the relationship and keeping those parts alive together.

When you become more aware of what you want, this energy shines through and your partner connects to it. After all like attracts like. So if you become aware and stay focused on the good things...this will be manifested back to you.

Be aware of you. Be aware of your role in life and which direction you would love your life to go in. When you do this, you can mend relationships or walk away from them.

But if things don't work out and you decide to go your separate being more aware of self, you will not feel emotionally drained, because you stood strong in your awareness of self all throughout the relationship and you remained whole.

You become an emotional wreck only when you have lost sight of you, throughout the journey. It's easily done, but not anymore right?

Whether you are in a relationship or not, I always encourage my clients to build the foundation in who they are. You have to stay a 'whole person' throughout any relationship you have, even platonic. If you don't have that foundation down than the relationship is off to a rocky start already.

So my final tip for you today is - be honest and real with yourself. Spend some time away from everyone and everything around you and just be still and connect within. Close your eyes and let your thoughts focus on you and in that silence, you will gain the insight to building your foundation in you and knowing exactly what it is you want from life and love.

Oh, and by the way, this will be a good space to release all pent up negative emotions and anger you are holding onto. This doesn't serve anything and the only person it hurts is you.

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