Jun 30, 2019 in Coaching
How To Get Unstuck And Make Necessary Changes To Empower Your Life
The reason people tend to stay stuck in their circumstances, is because they expect change to come from outside of them,
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
The Smallest Step Forward
“Twenty years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain
The reason people tend to stay stuck in their circumstances, is because they expect change to come from outside of them, rather than from within.
It is as though they are waiting for permission to move forward when they must first take action themselves.
As the saying goes: Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
While some people have good intentions, their actions don’t line up to support them. Granted, they may have goals they’re pursuing, yet years later those goals remain in the distance because they didn’t act on them.
“Doing nothing while the world around us changes makes us an inevitable victim to outside forces,” writes author Scott Sonenshein in Stretch: Unlock the Power of Less -and Achieve More Than You Ever Imagined.
I understand sometimes it’s easy to settle for the status quo by way of:
- Living pay cheque to pay cheque, instead of taking real action towards your goals.
- Being in a toxic relationship because you don’t want to be alone or hurt your partner.
- Working a job you loathe because looking for another one requires effort and change.
- The pain associated with negativity is comforting because it validates the misery.
Most people are committed to change, but can’t get past the hurdles that inhibit their progress. They may begin with great momentum, though a month later they are back to a familiar routine.
Change must come from within; even the smallest step forward is enough to propel you in the right direction.
This step can create the greatest change in your life, but must be accompanied by well-intentioned objectives.
“When you change your language from balancing to prioritizing, you see your choices more clearly and open the door to changing your destiny,” state authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in their book The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.
Change Your Thinking
Change requires EFFORT. Stepping out of your comfort zone, digging deep, stirring up passion, and going for it with all you have.
Have you considered why some people are successful and others are not? Successful people work towards their goals and understand that hard work (and wisdom) pays off.
Staying in your comfort zone is not conducive to your long term success. You must venture into uncharted territory if you wish to experience something new.
Inspired action is the result of empowering thoughts. So, to change your circumstances you must change your thinking.
At this point, change is often permanent once the individual has transformed their sabotaging thoughts. This is foreshadowed by a deeper realisation which gives way to real progress.
I am drawn to the passage by author Robert Maurer in his book One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way: “Radical change is like charging up a steep hill — you may run out of wind before you reach the crest, or the thought of all the work ahead makes you give up no sooner than you’ve begun.”
Change requires courage and faith, yet has a ripple effect in our lives.
It can include a change in living conditions without having to move places. Sometimes, something as simple as rearranging your living conditions leads to a change in thought patterns due to the metaphysical relationship.
Similarly, a change in direction can trigger a shift in your career and is likely to reap benefits down the line.
Create Clear Goals
“If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting. You want change, make some.” — Courtney C. Stevens
The change cycle reveals the six stages of change. Beginning with Loss, which is characterised by feelings of fear and being paralysed. It concludes with Integration, highlighting the satisfaction one experiences when settled into a new environment.
A new life is possible when you take consistent action, in spite of your fears and doubts. In this way, you make incremental changes without speeding up towards your future in haste.
Authors Gary Keller and Jay Papasan remind us once more that “Getting extraordinary results is all about creating a domino effect in your life.”
It is important to embrace transformation because the knowledge gained is vital to your new way of life.
Without stating the obvious, life isn’t about ‘success’ alone. However, most people want to be successful without devoting themselves to the hard work to get there. If we’re not experiencing success (or accomplishing our goals and desires), something has to change.
Working with a leadership coach will help you get past the hurdles to create clear goals. An action plan to achieve them, and accountability are the keys to making progress.
Accountability is a motivating factor for those who seek change but don’t know how to go about it. You are inspired to work towards definable goals since you have someone to guide and motivate you.
“If you ever feel yourself dreading the activity or making excuses for not performing it, it’s time to cut back on the size of the step,” affirms author Robert Maurer.
What about you? Where do you stand in relation to your goals for the year?
Are you on target to reach them?
Are you moving forward towards them consistently?
Are you happy with your progress?
What would you like to be different?
What does your optimal life look like?
So many questions to consider. Yet, if you don’t examine them, you are likely to be drawn off-course by distractions and find yourself in a place not of your choosing, doing meaningless tasks.
I wish to leave you with a delightful passage from motivational author Brendon Burchard in his book The Motivation Manifesto: “We have forgotten that courage is a choice, and that permission to move forward with boldness is never given by the fearful masses. Most have forgotten that seeking change always requires a touch of insanity. If taking action before the perfect conditions arise, or before we receive permission, is unreasonable or reckless, then we must be unreasonable and reckless.”
It is the sense of reckless adventure we must embark upon to bring fulfillment, passion and joy to our lives. Regret and resentment cannot dwell in the heart and mind of a person committed to their work.
Abandon your pain and disillusionment and reach beyond the comforts of your armchair to seek a life of wonder where dreams come true.
Dare to be exceptional. Dare to be bold. Awaken your inner spirit and alight the radiance of your highest self that summons you to create a life of passion.