Sep 9, 2021 in Life Coaching
Why Those Who are Most Responsive to Change, Will Always Thrive
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Go With The Natural Flow Of Events
“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” — Charles Darwin
What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change of circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Perhaps it’s something you’re missing out on, such as being in contact with loved ones, friends, work colleagues, or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, or something else? How are you responding to them?
I realise I’m asking a lot of questions but it’s important we understand what is the cause of our negative emotions. Now, granted, you might say I’m angry and frustrated being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn’t be wrong to feel this way, however, what is the fundamental reason behind it? You see, the emotions you’re experiencing may not only be attributed to the separation. There could be something deeper beneath the surface that warrants your investigation. It is my experience, working with individuals over the years, that those who are most responsive to change always thrive.
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These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace what life throws at them. It doesn’t mean they like what is happening. And I’m not suggesting you like what is taking place either since that would be remiss of me. What I’m suggesting, is you accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of them. Is this something you’re willing to give your attention to? Could you entertain the idea that you needn’t like your current circumstances but merely stop struggling against them?
Resistance is futile because ultimately reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life ought to meet our expectations? Life is a self-sustaining system, operating with its own natural laws. We must learn to abide by them because we are a drop in an ocean of vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes, what we initially experience as chaos, is laying the groundwork for the order which follows. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and go with the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being grateful. It’s the idea of looking for hidden gems contained within unexpected events.
Life Is Not Personal
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” — Lao Tzu
Assuredly, what we give our attention to becomes our focal point. So, if you direct your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and call it into your experience. But this comes at a cost to your wellbeing, which is paramount to your mental and physical health. Responding to change affirmatively means that even though circumstances are not as we like them to be, we can still turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the silver lining in every experience, even if we have to look hard, there will always be a positive lesson.
Listen, life is unfair. When we were young and protected by our parents or guardians, we may have assumed life was fair. But as we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read that again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of life’s ecosystem and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.
So, back to my earlier questions about what you’re resisting right now. How can you take that experience and find a hidden treasure amongst it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions, to explore what is at the heart of your resistance? I assure you, this practice alone, can change your life more than you realise.
It will help you control your emotions and understand their underlying motive. You needn’t struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will seldom come in the form you hope for. They are often disguised as hardship, pain, struggle and disappointment and require we face them with optimism instead of resistance. I often ask myself: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it in their stride? Why do some people not allow their experiences to get them down? What do they know that others don’t?
I’m not convinced that successful people are any wiser or more intelligent than the rest of us. I’m certain, however, they have experienced heartache, suffering and misfortunes to know that hardships don’t come to disturb our peace, but to anchor us in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. This is why those who are most responsive to change will thrive because they move with their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give that gift to yourself right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. It is only then you will realise that thriving isn’t a state of mind but a way of being in the world.
Original article: https://www.tonyfahkry.com/why-those-who-are-most-responsive-to-change-will-always-thrive/