Aug 5, 2021 in Life Coaching

Even During Difficult Times, You Still Have A Choice

Even throughout the darkest periods of our life, we still have choices.

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You Will Be Shown The Way

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.” — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Even throughout the darkest periods of our life, we still have choices. Whilst it may not seem that way, it is because we become trapped in our pain and don’t realise the way out. Knowing this, I’d like you to reflect on a recent difficulty in your life. Think about the lessons gained from the experience. Yes, it may be challenging to find a lesson, but I assure you it is there. For example, a young family friend who I’ve known for decades passed away from a lifelong illness some years ago. Although the loss was difficult, I reflect on the good times we shared rather than focus on the loss. I endured other setbacks around the same time, which left me deflated and uninspired, yet I kept looking for the greater lessons contained within those difficulties.

Can you relate to this? Sometimes the forces of life conspire against us, yet our personal growth cannot be put on hold. Pain is a part of life, and to run away from it intensifies our suffering. Pain forces us to grow and helps us decide what is important. We ought to devote energy to what brings us joy and happiness, whilst finding meaning and value in those pursuits. It is said, not everything is meant to be in our lives and knowing what to let go of and hold on to a challenge. In the same way, we spend the first half of our life accumulating thoughts and ideas about the world and the second half letting go of these things. In view of this, are you devoting time and energy to things that make you happy or clutching to familiarity, hoping it will give you what you need? It requires examining where we are squandering our energy. It may not be easy picking apart our life, but it will be worthwhile.

Similarly, growth takes place through experience. We grow through difficult moments, not when we’re in our comfort zone. We may experience a powerful gust of wind that rattles our sails in order to experience resiliency. However, we always have a choice. We can stay mired in our difficulties or trust that respite lies around the corner. This is when we mustn’t lose faith. I know it’s difficult, particularly when hardship is knocking on our door. I’ve endured many challenges throughout my life and yelled out to the universe for help. Sometimes, I feel ignored and alone. Yet, underneath the silence, the universe invites me to go within to find the wisdom I need. I am being guided to find the answers contained within me. Through your challenges, you will be shown the way once you stop resisting and look for the lessons within the experience.

Stay Grounded In Your Present Moment Experience

“It is not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” — Roy Disney

How do you feel about this? Can you see when answers don’t arrive you are called to go to the source within you? It requires mining for answers in moments of silence. Often, there’s nothing we can do other than to endure the darkness and allow it to move through us. This is when we must embrace the present moment and be open to where life is leading us. We mustn’t fear the future but bring our attention back to the present moment where everything is contained right now. Difficult moments anchor us to the present moment. We needn’t fix anything because the future will take care of itself when we attend to the pockets of moments interwoven throughout our life. Being grounded in the now offers us the gift of serving our needs as they arise. When difficulties occur, there’s a tendency to focus on what is missing or what is going wrong.

Can you see this is one way of looking at your life? Are you realising this is not what you signed up for? I liken it to a train passing through a railway station, stopping momentarily to pick up passengers. Difficulties come and go from our life, and if we embrace the lessons, we gain a universal understanding for our highest good. Considering this, reflect on the difficulties I asked you about earlier. As a practice, write three lessons you gained from the experiences. You may also want to write what you didn’t like about the experiences and compare whether the lessons outweighed the challenges. I mentioned earlier how there’s always something to be grateful for. It’s difficult to see when we’re mired in our suffering. Yet, hindsight allows us to look back on our challenges with an open mind and a compassionate heart; knowing whatever we experienced endowed us with choices we never thought we had.

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