Aug 3, 2021 in Life Coaching
Why You Need to be Flexible, to Survive and Thrive
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” — Albert Einstein
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
We Can Choose Our Attitude
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” — Albert Einstein
How would you describe your life right now? Are you surviving from day to day or thriving? I don’t intend to underscore your troubles, but help you gain an insight into your current situation. It takes courage to take an introspective look at ourselves, particularly when we don’t like what we see.
Most people never take this journey because highlighting their shortfalls threatens their self-esteem. The problem is that we stay stuck and stagnant, without growing and advancing. I’m certain if you’re reading this article, you’re not that person. You’re not the person to rest on your laurels because something inside of you identifies with growth and expansion.
Even if you don’t know how to improve your life, you recognise you are not satisfied. If you are not thriving in areas of your life, what is the cause? Honestly, what do you believe is holding you back from achieving your potential in this area?
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You might think it is external factors such as the economy, being dealt with unforeseen circumstances, or something else. I’m not discounting these factors, but we can still choose our attitude and rise above our difficulties.
Do you agree? Do you feel some people are dealt an easy hand, while others have it tough? Be careful how you answer because this is a belief that may impede your growth. Perhaps there’s a reason some people face more difficulties than others. They might be called to serve a greater cause through their purpose.
Life Is Not A Problem To Be Solved
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” — Joseph Campbell
I don’t know your particular story to comment about it, but having coached hundreds of people over the years, I have observed a common theme in many people’s lives. Those who excel come from unfortunate backgrounds. Some were abused as children; others lost loved ones when they are young. Some experience illnesses they eventually recover from.
It is why I am drawn to the quote by the motivational speaker Jim Rohn, who said: “The same wind blows on us all; the winds of disaster, opportunity and change. Therefore, it is not the blowing of the wind, but the setting of the sails that will determine our direction in life.”
Life is subject to pain, disappointment and suffering. Some of us suffer more than others, but it is our attitude or what Jim Rohn calls: the setting of the sails that determines our direction in life. It is whether we choose to bounce back from our setbacks and grow from those experiences.
Life is about growth and expansion, and we cannot stop the process any more than interrupting daylight break in the morning. Life weaves her wisdom of impermanence and change throughout our lives, and we can retreat into despair or accept the challenges.
Sometimes we bemoan our experience and believe we are unfairly treated. Feeling victimised does not change reality or our beliefs about it. Life doesn’t care whether we think it is fair. It is not a factor, because fairness is not what life is.
A better question to ask is: what am I being called to learn about this situation? Where is the growth in this challenge? Who do I need to become to see this situation differently? We’ve got to change our thinking and stop believing life is being imposed upon us.
Life is not happening to us, as much as it is happening for us. When we change how we look at things, the things we look at begin to change. This was the underlying message from the American author, Dr. Wayne Dyer.
It is the understanding; life is not a problem to be solved but to be experienced from the level of the soul. Life is a sea of contrast, and we can choose how we view our difficulties. We can see them through the lens of pain and disappointment or growth and expansion.
It takes a certain mindset to adopt this way of thinking. It doesn’t happen overnight and with enough pain and heartache, we eventually learn that life is pulling the strings and we are a tiny speck in a vast universe, constantly contracting and expanding.
A Flexible Mind Is A Thriving Mind
“Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” — George Bernard Shaw
I often remind coaching clients when they are overwhelmed by their difficulties, to get on Google Earth and appreciate their problems from a distance. It requires stepping back and recognising life isn’t being done to us but expanding through us.
Are you getting the sense that surviving and thriving are different mindsets? If we want to move from one to the other, we must be flexible in our thinking. We need to expand our understanding of our problems and look at them through the lens of growth and opportunity.
A flexible mind is a mind open to change, which is the one thing that flows throughout life. We cannot resist change, otherwise, we become stuck and victimised. Life is doing what it does; expanding and contracting.
Given we are the substance of life, we ought to allow it to flow through us instead of running away from our problems. We both know it never works out well when we run away from our difficulties.
With this in mind, I invite you to consider the questions I asked you in the opening paragraph. Sit for 10 — 15 minutes and journal your honest answers to the questions. Approach the exercise as though you were confiding in someone you trust. Here, that someone is your private journal.
Try to get a sense of what is holding you back from thriving. Don’t try to find a solution yet, because that will come when you are open-minded. The key is to identify the problem, and a solution will be borne out of it in due course. Ultimately, a flexible mind is a thriving mind.
Original article: https://www.tonyfahkry.com/why-you-need-to-be-flexible-to-survive-and-thrive/