Jul 5, 2021 in Life Coaching
You Don’t Need To Plan Your Life, To Get What You Really Want
“We have a plan for life but sometimes, life has a different plan for us” ― Saji Ijiyemi
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
To get what we really want requires being conscious of our choices and acting with intention instead of being dictated by our unconscious motives. For example, think of a significant life choice you made. Was it made purposefully or impulsively? Did it turn out as you expected? If not, what could you have changed about your choice next time? Are you willing to examine your choices before you act?
Can We Plan Too Much?
“We have a plan for life but sometimes, life has a different plan for us” ― Saji Ijiyemi
We make countless choices every day, but are we making them based on a deeper intention, or are they knee-jerk reactions? This is an important part of making better life choices: delaying gratification and choosing what is likely to benefit us in the future.
We don’t need to plan our life to get what we really want because planning doesn’t always work due to unforeseen circumstances. Unexpected conditions may arise, so the key is not to be fixed on our plans for the future but to know the direction we wish our life to follow. It is my experience coaching clients over the years, as well as my own observations, that life rarely unfolds according to plan. In fact, looking back, many of my plans didn’t work out as expected. I don’t have a problem with that because my life has unfolded better than I could have imagined.
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Therefore, we ought to go with the flow instead of being fixed on a plan for our life. This means adapting to what takes place and developing the mental and emotional resiliency to cope with what shows up. I admit this takes a lot of practice to not be dictated by external events. But what is the rush, if we repeatedly make less than desirable choices?
This way of thinking helps us be adaptable when we face situations out of our control. Similarly, we needn’t like what is taking place but we can learn to accept there may be a greater lesson contained within the experience. There might be a greater plan unfolding in the backdrop of our lives, while the pieces of the puzzle are still forming. Are you comfortable with this idea so far? Can you see by looking back on your life, what was an unexpected event that turned out to be valuable to you?
When Life Is Lacking Spontaneity
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” — E. E. Cummings
Planning the details of our life removes the spontaneity of life because we expect the trajectory of our life to follow the past. But what if we had a difficult past filled with pain and regret? We might expect the future to be the same, but it is not always the case. I have coached remarkable people over the years who overcame great difficulties and transformed their life beyond their wildest dreams. They were willing to heal their past and step into a new future without their pain accompanying them. It is possible for you to do the same. It requires a willingness to leave behind what is not working and move forward with bold intention.
Sometimes, the best things that happen to us take place when we are unprepared. This is because uncertainty is the foundation of adventure and personal growth. After all, we can only plan life to a certain degree and trust it will unfold accordingly. But sometimes it may take an unforeseen turn, which may be the best thing to happen to us. What I’m saying: We don’t know what awaits us in the future until we take a leap of faith and move forward with boldness and courage.
Equally, good things can happen to us we never expect. I’ve written in earlier articles and books about my life-changing transformation early in my life. After graduating university with a B.A. in Fashion Design, I pursued a different career in writing and speaking about self-empowerment. I felt a powerful call from my soul to move into this area over a period. Initially, I resisted because of family pressure, who thought I was crazy to abandon a successful career. Although I didn’t understand what I was getting myself into, I trusted what I was leaving behind was less significant than what I was stepping into. The power of being led by my heart’s deepest desire outweighed a career I was merely satisfied with.
Trust In Unexpected Miracles
“I am realistic–I expect miracles.” ― Wayne Dyer
Think about this in your own life. Have you experienced a chance encounter with a person who later became your significant other? Perhaps it was a business partner or an important personal or professional relationship? In hindsight, could you have foreseen such an event would take place?
Therefore, we must allow room for miracles and surprises, because this is how life will reveal itself in ways we never expected. I didn’t expect to be speaking on stage in front of hundreds of people, given my background as a fashion designer. But I took a chance and believed in life, even though I couldn’t see evidence of it. I took a chance on myself and trusted life would not let me down. I’m now inviting you to trust in unexpected miracles in your life. We must allow life to reveal itself through us, by being receptive to new experiences instead of talking ourselves out of it.
Knowing this, I invite you to write a list of three areas where you are constantly planning things out. Is it in your career, finances, health, or relationships? Are you willing to be more open to new experiences in these areas? Could you allow space for unexpected blessings, even if it’s 5%? Do you need to think differently? Perhaps it involves less planning and more trust. You might have to experiment to find what works for you.
I assure you, implementing the smallest change, whether it be a change in your thinking or actions, can improve your life in big ways. Note how you feel when making these changes. It may seem scary at first but if you keep a journal, write about your experiences, so you can look back and see how far you’ve come. After all, we needn’t plan our life in detail to get what we really want because getting what we want comes from choices we never knew we had to make until it is time.
Original article: https://www.tonyfahkry.com/you-dont-need-to-plan-your-life-to-get-what-you-really-want/