Jun 3, 2021 in Life Coaching
You Suffer Less When You Recognise You are Pure Awareness and Not Your Thoughts
You are not your emotions.
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
You Are Not Your Emotions
“When consciously present as what You truly are — Life’s pure aware presence — then what still appears by way of the senses may appear more beautiful and harmonious than ever.” — Peter Francis Dziuban
Consider your answer to the following questions: Who is it that experiences suffering? You might say me, the person reading these words on the screen. But who is me? Point to this person. You will naturally point to your chest. But what makes you sure ‘me’ is located in your chest? I don’t mean to bombard you with riddles, but I’m trying to point out that who we are is not entirely correct. The image of ourselves is a self-constructed narrative. It is not wrong because we need self-identification to make sense of ourselves. However, it is only part of the narrative of who we really are.
In identifying with the egoic self, our thoughts become an extension of who we are. We might say: “I am angry” or “I am sad” but this is a label attached to emotions that are transient. If repeated, our mind identifies with it because we have trained it through repetitive thoughts. Moreover, we intensify our suffering by the pain created by these emotions. Therefore, you are not your emotions but the pure awareness and consciousness behind them. To overcome suffering requires welcoming negative emotions and observing them through pure awareness, instead of localising them in the mind.
To test this idea, I want you to try something. Ask yourself the following question: “Am I aware?” Don’t answer with your mind but observe the peaceful state coalescing in and outside your field of awareness. The veil of the egoic mind tries to hijack this knowingness and obscures pure awareness. This is because the ego needs a voice, however, its intentions are not entirely honourable. They are self-serving and get in the way of identifying with our true nature. Pure awareness is also known as awake awareness because it does not need thought or attention to know itself.
Here’s is a simple way to recognise pure awareness. You visit the local park to walk your dog and see another person playing with their dog. Your awareness recognises this, but your mind adds thoughts to explain what it sees, such as “Isn’t that dog cute” or “What a nice breed of dog” etc. Pure awareness instinctively recognises the person playing with their dog and experiences the aliveness of it throughout your nervous system. However, the mind has a habit of adding a narrative and takes control of your experience.
Don’t Manipulate Or Force Anything
“Despite what you may think or feel, you never actually lose the innocence, unconditional love, and adorable quality of pure awareness that you were born with. You just come to believe you did through a process of auto-suggestion.” — Michael A. Rodriguez
Is this making sense? I hope you’re seeing that thoughts are unnecessary in perceiving reality but become habitual because of our conditioning. Therefore, the psychological pain and suffering we experience results from buying into our thoughts, instead of relaxing into the pure awareness of each moment. This is the message espoused by psychotherapist and meditation teacher Loch Kelly, in his book Shift into Freedom: “Paying attention to automatic thoughts is simply a habit we can change. When you shift into awareness-based knowing, automatic thinking moves into the background, and you experience true peace of mind.”
I’m not suggesting we ignore thoughts altogether. It requires learning to discern what is useful and putting aside what is not useful. For example, a valuable practice to help recognise pure awareness is meditation. So, while you are meditating and experience a negative thought or emotion, you acknowledge it without identifying with it. That is, be aware of the awareness observing the negative thought or emotion. This simple practice puts the brakes on the mind, which tries to narrate what it thinks or experiences. It is what Loch Kelly means when he talks about automatic thinking moving into the background. We are disciplining the mind to be less reactive, allowing pure awareness to come forth and experience itself. Pure awareness is not something to be actively turned on or off; it only requires uncoupling the mind to allow its presence to be known.
As an exercise, over the next 24 hours when a negative thought or emotion arises, instead of allowing thoughts to hijack you, try to observe them through pure awareness. Naturally, thoughts and emotions will rise and fall. Don’t dialogue with them or try to stop them because this is unnecessary. In fact, welcome them and allow them to be present. They are like enormous waves approaching, but as they hit the shoreline, they break and recede into the vast ocean. This metaphor describes what takes place when negative thoughts or emotions rise and fall within the realm of pure awareness. Your job is not to manipulate or force anything but to reside in the presence of pure awareness. This requires practice and I assure you; it is something within your power to influence. After all, if we identify with our thoughts, we will continue to suffer, instead of recognising thoughts are transient. What is permanent is the pure awareness behind our thoughts and emotions.
Original article: https://www.tonyfahkry.com/you-suffer-less-when-you-recognise-you-are-pure-awareness-and-not-your-thoughts/