Apr 28, 2021 in Life Coaching

If You Love Them, Give Them Roots and Wings to Fly

“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay.” – Dalai Lama

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“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay.” – Dalai Lama

I’m sure that we can all agree that love is a beautiful emotion. It simply feels good to love and it feels good to be loved. The ability to love is a valuable quality and we must strive to make it our primary purpose to allow love to flow in and through us abundantly.

Relationships have many wonderful aspects to them, but they can also be difficult and trying. A relationship that is vested in love must contain all three elements mentioned in the previous quote. Love should bind our hearts, connect our minds, and deepen our connection with those we love.

There are all sorts of love we can feel. We can feel brotherly love, romantic love, friendship love, a superficial kind of love, a general love for everyone, etc. When we love others, it is important to know a few things about love so that we are at our best for them.

For example, if you love your partner, but you go into a jealous rage every time they are a few minutes late coming home with thoughts that they were out with someone else, that is not showing them the love and respect that they deserve. Or if you have teenagers and you won’t let them go anywhere for fear that something will happen to them, your actions may feel justified, but they need the kind of love that lets them discover their world with increments of freedom.

If you know a couple that deeply loves and respects each other, chances are that they have come to such a deep connection through some wisdom and effort. Sometimes people learn in their relationships that when they try to hold onto someone very tightly, it tends to push them away. Connection is important, but don’t mistake control for connection. Allowing your loved ones to be themselves and have the freedom to do what they want is connection in the making, but telling them they cannot do this or that for fear of losing them will not create a deep connection.

The Dalai Lama’s quote reminds us to sow good seeds into those we love. This could mean performing loving acts, giving complements, and being supportive. Give them roots means to invest time and energy into them. This could mean taking the time to teach them valuable life lessons, share interesting and meaningful moments with them, or showing unconditional love without restrictions. We do all of these things so that our loved ones will want to stay connected with us.

We give our children wings and roots so that they can go off on their own one day and be productive and loving human beings. We give our spouses wings and roots so that they can grow and develop into their best selves as they journey beside you throughout life. Many spouses think that if their partners have interests outside of theirs, that their connection will suffer, but it is actually important for spouses to have interests outside of each other. It is healthy for the relationship.

Take some time to gauge how your relationships are going. Are you taking time to invest in them? Are you being loving toward your family members and your friends? Do you struggle with control or jealousy? Oftentimes your relationships with others are a mirror of your relationship with yourself. If you find that you are struggling in your relationships, take some time to gauge how you are feeling about yourself. Work on taking care of yourself and increasing your self-worth.

Life without meaningful and deep relationships is not optimal, so do your best to learn what you can to have such. You and your loved ones will be so much happier as all of your work on deepening your connections and sharing a wonderful life together.

Original article: https://www.tonyfahkry.com/love-give-roots-wings-fly/

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