Jun 23, 2021 in Life Coaching
Why All Relationships are a Mirror of Yourself
Have you met people with plenty of friends who have the best relationships?
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
“The people we are in relationships with are always a mirror, reflecting our own beliefs, and simultaneously we are mirrors, reflecting their beliefs.” – Shakti Gawain
Have you met people with plenty of friends who have the best relationships?
The guy who smiles all the time, romances his girl, and offers unconditional love?
Relationship experts will tell you the reason his relationships thrive is that his relationship with himself is healthy. He has learned to love his innermost being and found his true identity.
On the opposite spectrum, do you know those with little friends that go from one relationship to the other without making make it last?
They argue, fight—are jealous, and proclaim they love for each other, but do not show it.
Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places
Their relationships are unhealthy because of an unhealthy relationship with themselves. They have not found their true identity within themselves, but look towards others to define them.
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They are looking for love in all the wrong places.
Relationships perplex even the best experts. They start out wonderful and both partners are floating on a cloud of love for months. No one notices annoying traits or character defects, or if they do, they minimize it because they are in love.
As time goes by, things begin to change. The love hormones wane, character defects become clear, and arguing occurs more often. Before you know it, the two are carrying resentments, scream at each other daily, and contemplate the possibility of the relationship being over.
There are many factors that come into play in a relationship. The dynamics are different for every person, so it is difficult to say the reason for breakups is clear. It is a combination of factors.
One thing experts will tell you is, a person’s relationship with others, and especially a partner, mirrors their relationship with self. If a person’s relationship with self is unhealthy, it is likely their relationship with others will be unhealthy.
“Relationship is a mirror. Every moment the other reveals you expose you. The closer the relationship, the clearer is the mirror.”—Rajneesh
Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you stay single. You find out quickly if you are a selfish person once you are in a relationship because when there is someone to “share” with, you face a decision to “share” or not.
Communication, compromise, and conflict resolution come up, and you face having to lay your pride down and work together on issues.
Don’t Focus On The Externals
A contributing factor whether a relationship will be healthy or unhealthy depends on where each partner finds happiness and fulfillment. Many people seek this in external objects or people. I’m sure you’ve heard people proclaim: “I’ll be happy if he did this or she said that” or “If I only got that job, new house, baby.”
If a person seeks a partner to complete them, conflicts arise. It is not your partner’s job to make you happy. It is your job to make you happy. It is your partner’s job to make themselves happy. When you seek happiness outwardly, as in a person, you will expect things, and resentments arise. Resentments bring anger and anger brings arguments.
This is one reason people go from one relationship to another. They think a person will “complete” them, but once the honeymoon phase is over, the needy partner sucks energy from the other trying to find fulfillment. They may be: needy, jealous, controlling, and manipulative because they seek happiness through their partner. It does not work.
In order for a relationship to be healthy, each person should be at a place where they have dealt with issues such as: low self-esteem, jealousy, resentments, and inner pain. Each partner must know self-love that radiates outward, and adds value to a relationship instead of seeking love and affirmation from a partner.
Many people gravitate toward partners who are opposites, which leads to conflict. Conflict can help each partner to begin a journey within themselves to find unconditional love and wholeness. From there, unconditional love is given to the partner.
If you are in a relationship that is troubling you, stop pointing fingers and get quiet with yourself. Take time to contemplate, meditate, and take a season in which you find out who you are. Deal with your issues like: low self-worth, anger, bitterness, laziness, fear, etc.
Own up to your “junk” in the relationship and commit to looking inward to find your identity, unconditional love, and wholeness. From there, you will maintain healthy relationships and add value to those around you.
If you cannot do this alone, consider seeing a relationship counselor.
Counselors are trained to help people move past their issues and offer insights on changing attitudes and behavior. Many people use this time and go on to develop healthy relationships.
You can too.
Original article: https://www.tonyfahkry.com/why-all-relationship-are-a-mirror-of-yourself/