To Serve or Be Served

To Serve or Be Served

I think that this is an interesting question…Someone once said to me that there are two kinds of people: Those who are served and those who serve and “you always want to be the one who is served.” I was thinking about that today because my Mom treated me to a pedicure. I know it’s a little strange that I feel this way but I always feel a little uncomfortable when I have a spa treatment, because I feel bad for the women giving me a pedicure. Here’s why, they are “serving” me.

Most of the women to whom I have expressed that feeling say things like: “Well, they are getting paid for it.” Or “This is a job that would not pay much where they are from and that they are making ‘bank’ here.” Maybe it’s “white guilt” on my part, I’m not sure…I just think about how tired and crampy that their hands might be by the end of the day. Maybe I am overthinking…or am I? There are so many people who are homeless and hungry right now and I am getting a foot massage.

Hmm, I have never been that comfortable being “served” and I have thought that I should be a server. I always thought serving was a privilege. It is a task done out of love and kindness. To be of service to another is the highest form of caring that I can think of…but not for money, only because of what it gives another. What if each one of us found a way to perform a service for another person, each day? It doesn’t have to be a big one, but it could be. Just a little something that makes someone smile.

Here is an example of what I call “sneaky” service. When I worked for the schools (yes, another example from school), I was really poor after my divorce and the head cook knew it, if there was food left over after feeding the kids, she would give me a leftover food item. She helped me because she was poor too. She knew that I saved all of the “good food” for my kids when they came for my week with them. It was a kindness that could have cost her, her job. Once for some reason, that I don’t remember now, I had an extra $20.00 and I put it in an envelope with her name typed on it. I took it to the office and asked them to give it to her without saying who it was from. I knew she was proud, like me and would not have accepted it from me. I didn’t tell the office staff what was in it. I know she got it. I hope that it helped her in some way.

We served each other the best that we could. I will never forget her and the kindness that she extended to me. Some people like to be served and that’s okay, it’s a job creator. Some like to serve and that’s okay too, so long as you don’t sacrifice too much. A word of warning though sometimes people get nasty when you try to serve them so know your “audience” and make sure you are serving for the right reasons and sometimes it’s best done anonymously, for no credit or recognition, just a labor of love.