Apr 13, 2021 in Life Coaching
Warning: 1 Hard Reason of Overthinking
Does it seems like you have unlimited thoughts in your head?
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Does it seem like you have unlimited thoughts in your head?
Are you having sleeping problem at night because of it?
Do you feel emotionally drained most of the time?
Well, this article is right for you.
By understanding the reasons why we overthink, you will be able to manage your thoughts. Yes, I said manage your thoughts. Because controlling your thoughts will just give you more battle in your head. It will only create more friction. The more friction, the more thoughts. But if you will manage it, you will be able to take power over it. And your thoughts will follow you out of obedience, with its own freewill. Because, remember this. People have thoughts, not thoughts have people. This sounds like a philosophical joke but it’s true. Let me explain it further as I share to you the #1 reason why we overthink.
Are you ready to know what it is? Ok. I’ll reveal it to you. It is out of Fear.
If you are a high achiever, you are probably setting big goals. I mean really big goals. And, it may cause you to ask questions out of fear, like what if I did not achieve this goal? What if I fail? What would other people say if I fail?
Actually, this kind of fear is not bad. We only fear like this because we have lack of knowledge about it.
Let’s say for example when you’re at the driver’s seat and you didn’t know how to drive the car. And, you are told to drive the car, of course, you fear. True or true? You fear because you don’t know how, because you didn’t learn how yet. But, if you have knowledge about it, you feel confident and calm in driving it.
So if fear is the reason why we overthink, we should better have knowledge of what we fear for. Do you agree?
Now, since you know that by having knowledge is the key to stop overthinking, let me give you the 3 ways to stop your fear.
In order for you to have a clear mind.
In order for you to sleep peacefully at night.
In order for you to be energetic all the time.
Make sure that you will read it until the end because I’m going to share to you the best one at the last part.
ORGANIZE YOUR PLANS
What is the #1 big goal you want to achieve this year? Choose only 1 goal. Because FOCUS means Follow One Course Until Success. Studies have shown that people who focus on one single task are more productive compare to people who multi-task.
I remember my mentor when he gave us 2 activities. The first activity, we wrote number 1 to 26 consecutively, then A to Z consecutively. For the second one, we wrote the numbers and letters in an alternate way. We wrote 1 and then A, 2 and then B, 3 and then C and so on.. We timed both activities. The result was we were faster in writing Activity 1 compare to Activity 2.
This activity only prove that we are slower when we multi-task.
So, if you are having a hard time to choose one big goal from many big goals you want to achieve in life, choose one goal that can give you the biggest amount of result compare to others. Like, if you achieve this one big goal, the other big goals are going to be carried away like domino effect.
After knowing your #1 big goal, this is what you got to do. Make monthly plan to achieve that goal. Then, chunk that monthly plan to weekly plan. And that weekly plan to daily plan.
Now, that you have daily plan this is what you got to do. Once your one single daily plan is done, before you sleep at night, you may tell yourself, “My day is done.”
This is so effective if you master this. Because by making daily plan, your goal become simple. And when it is simple, it can take away your intimidation of your gigantic goal.
As you finished writing down your daily plans in a draft paper, it’s time for you to install the app ASANA. This is not a paid ad. But since, it gives me benefits, I want to share it to you too. It is available in Apple Store and Google Play Store. You just have to create an account there. You may share it with your team if you already have. You may arrange your plan by date. And once it is done, you may delete it. I’m telling you, it gives you a feeling of relief once you delete a plan because it is accomplished already. It is advisable to delete it before you take a sleep, and after that say to yourself, “My day is done.” For sure, you won’t feel overwhelmed when you already close your eyes to sleep.
Because experts prove that our brain is just for processing thoughts. We got to release it out by putting it in our planner or the app called Asana. If we didn’t do that, we will experience stress. What end up happening our thoughts go around and around like a rat in a wheel, running non-stop. That is how overthinking happens.
Average people react, but high achievers anticipate. The reason why during recession, rich people become richer and poor people become poorer is because rich people anticipate. Poor people will just be surprised with what is happening when it is already too late, while rich people already anticipate about it. That’s why they are ready about it, and they plan ahead before it happens.
Now, this is what you got to do, you got to ask yourself random questions, “What problems can possibly happen in the future?” What alternate solutions can you prepare ahead of it?”
And the best ever question that you can ask yourself is “What is the worst thing could happen if I fail?”
This is one of my biggest take aways from my mentor. And it goes in the line like this, “ Shoot for the moon, for sure you will shoot one of the stars.” When bulls eye a star, it won’t be bad, isn’t it? Because you shoot something. You are still a winner.
If you found this article helpful, please give it a like and share it to your friends who are having a problem with overthinking also. You may check out my other article here if you are a shy type of person, but you want to be a public speaker.
Do you want to master managing your thoughts? Message me here.