Nov 24, 2021 in Counseling
How to embrace being single
This will help you embrace being single, and enjoy your single single life to its fullest.
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This article was published on my website www.jlcoachingandcounceling.com under blogs
First and foremost, being single can be the best time of your life.
You do not need a romantic partner to affirm your value. Remember being alone is not the same as being lonely. I know we live in a world that romanticizes intimate relationships but we can have an intimate relationship with ourselves, we can love ourselves and be our own best friend. In actual fact we should do all that for ourselves before even considering the thought of doing it for someone else.
How to be your own "other Half"
Now, I do not like the term "other half", "better half", "the one" or "soul mate" because lets be honest that is placing half of your self worth on someone else and also a "soul mate" isn't necessarily a romantic partner. Stop doing that, you are a whole person and have been one since the day that you were born.
SO your family and friends keep emphasizing that you are single, but hey are they as happy as you are in their relationships. Probably not or maybe they are who knows but I still believe that you should first be happy with yourself before you can truly make someone else happy. Imagine this, you are in a relationship, you are trying your absolute best to make this person happy but, NOTHING you do seems good enough. Why is that, now you are thinking "I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH". No that is complete and utter BS you are good enough, but you will probably find that your partner does not feel good enough for themselves and therefore nothing you do will ever be good enough as they cannot make themselves happy. It is very important to know how to make yourself happy, how to be your romantic partner and best friend so you know how to treat another.
Now lets get into the embracing being single part since the ranting and raving part is over.
Here are some fun tips on how you can embrace your single self.
Number 1 - Know your value.
Self affirmations aren't limited to fridge magnets and cute kitty posters, They are actually an amazing way to remind yourself of all your strengths and attributes. Studies has shown that there are many benefits in talking yourself up and boosting your own self confidence.
Self - Affirmations can help you boost your confidence, overcome bad habits, become more proactive and overall just kill all the negative vibes.
Be sure to make time for yourself everyday, you can look at yourself in the mirror and actually tell yourself things like "I am amazing", "I am Beautiful", "I am amazing at my Job", " I am valued", the list of things you can tell yourself goes on and on and on.
Meditate..... Sit somewhere quiet take a deep breath and chant some self-loving mantras over and over again.
Number 2 - Commit to yourself
Now I feel this is one of the most important steps to remember. You are the one person that will ALWAYS be there for yourself. Everyone will leave, be it through death or just exit your life, but the one person that will always be there right by your side is yourself. Set up your standards and stick to them. Make promises to yourself and keep them. Go and study further, take up that cycling class or go on that hike. Make yourself your very first priority. Oh so you have kids and they need to be your first priority right?.. No, Wrong you need to take care of yourself first remember when the plane is going down you need to put on your oxygen mask first before you put on theirs, otherwise mommy might pass out or die and then what happens to the kiddos... I'm sorry LOL I know that was harsh and dramatic and sounds so selfish but your health and well being should be your most important priority. Once you can administer self love and self care you can freely teach your children and those around you to do the same. Your kids will grow up to be amazing self loving people if they can learn these valuable traits from their parents. Please I am not saying go and neglect your kids and their needs. All I'm saying is take care of yourself to take care of them.
Number 3 - Pick up some healthy hobbies.
One of the best benefits of being single is having more free time on your hands.
Why not go to that cooking class and experiment with your taste buds or go to that gardening seminar and create a fabulous looking garden. Join that soccer team you wanted and make new friends. Explore your creativity and add interesting new parts to your personality. Who knows what you will discover about yourself, you mind find that you are capable of things that you would have never imagined you could do.
Number 4 - Be a yes person
OKAY DO NOT JUST SAY YES TO EVERYTHING....
But when your friends asks you to go out with them say yes. A person that you haven't spoken to in a while calls you up and says " hey, I booked this couples massage a while ago but now I am single, I know you are single now to so would you like to join?" say yes, this does not mean you will now be in a relationship with this person it just simply means that you will experience new things with new people . Say yes to new experiences within reason obviously. Challenge yourself, push yourself out of your comfort zone. You may find something supper exiting about yourself.
Number 5 - Take yourself out on a date.
What ALONE!!?.. Yes alone, dress up, buy yourself your fave flowers, go see a movie and then go eat at your fave restaurant. Go have a picnic with a nice bottle of wine and finger snacks. Just you, no social media or friends. Go and read your fave book or magazine. Spoil yourself and be romantic with yourself. Run a nice bath with candles and essential oils and relax. You deserve it, be the best partner you could be to yourself. This will also help you with your standards.
Number 6 - Strengthen your friendships
Whether online or in person our friendships are an important part of building a community and a sense of connection. Focusing on your relationships with the people closest to you is a great reminder that romantic or intimate isn't the only kind of love. A solid friendship with friends or family be it your children or siblings or parents can be just as enduring, special and meaningful as any romantic or intimate partnership. Building new friendships can be just as fun and enduring. Make time for these special people especially now that you have the time.
At the end of the day society is not going to let go of the fantasy of finding their "Soul Mate", but you should not let that influence you. You can be happy and fulfilled regardless of your relationship status. Just remember you are NOT single because there is something wrong with you, You are absolutely amazing just as you are. It is time that you notice that and embrace yourself.