Mar 27, 2023 in Coaching
School Shootings -TRAGIC expression of unmet needs, skills deficits, adverse childhood experiences,
The tragic expression of unmet needs takes a broader look at the “bad kid” myth once and for all. Read more:
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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
In 2017 Jillian Peterson & James Densley began studying the life histories of mass shooters in the US for a project funded by the National Institute of Justice, the research arm of the U.S. Dept of Justice. They’ve built a database and analyzed every active shooter incident in the U.S. at a K-12 school since 1999 — the year of the Columbine High School Massacre. They’ve interviewed incarcerated perpetrators of school shootings and their families, students who planned a shooting but changed their minds, survivors and first responders, teachers and administrators. They’ve read media and social media, “manifestos,” suicide notes, trial transcripts, and medical records. Here is what they found:
“In every case, when a student had planned a shooting and changed their mind, it was because an adult reached out and made a connection that gave them hope.
School shootings are not an inevitable part of American life.
We can, and must, change our approach to preventing them.”
Add to myWE:
The TRAGIC EXPRESSION of unmet needs takes the broader look at the “bad kid” myth once and for all.
What’s wrong with these statements?
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Kids should be seen and not heard.
They’ve got to learn.
Whether you are cringing or nodding along right now, these statements look at the surface behaviors with an unfair bias and even prejudice. So why are we okay with using these phrases that describe our children? Would we feel the same way if we said:
Spare the rod and spoil the elderly.
Europeans should be seen and not heard.
New Zealanders have got to learn.
In my TEDx talk, “The Rebellion is Here — We Created it, We Can Solve It,” I deconstruct the generational misconception that children, because of their youth and impressionability, should not be trusted. Subscribing to the belief that kids’ opinions should not be taken seriously leads to disconnection and a lack of trust between parent and child.
When we punish a kid for talking back, what we’re really saying is that their inner voice or feelings are irrelevant. And punishing surface behavior without addressing the source, the underlying unmet needs, often leads to what Dr. Thomas Gordon referred to as the Three R’s: Retaliation, Rebellion, and Resistance.
Do you want to build an environment where your child feels like they can tell you the truth 100% of the time? Do you want to teach them that they should never stand down in the face of prejudice, injustice — or even being told by an adult to do something they’re uncomfortable with?
Watch my TEDx talk for tips on how to communicate effectively and compassionately with your children, especially when they seem to be acting up. Let them know that they’re not “bad kids” for speaking up.
Love and Blessings,
P.S. If you’re looking for a welcoming, compassionate group of parents that will accompany you on the journey to find solutions to our societal situation, through parental ups and downs, join our Conscious Parenting Private Facebook Group.