Feb 20, 2023 in Coaching
Compassionate Communication: A Primer on Conscious Parenting Language
Effective and compassionate communication is a huge part of conscious parenting. Read more:
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
With President’s Weekend in my home country, the United States, upon us, I wanted to touch on communication. Whether you’re leading a household or a country, great leadership stems from great communication.
There’s a verse in the Bible that states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” This proverb encapsulates what we already know to be true: words hold a lot of weight. What we say—and how we say it—can have an enormous effect on those around us.
At the Conscious Parenting Revolution, one of our core teachings is effective and compassionate communication. We repair family relationships by teaching parents and children methods and tools for listening with love and speaking from the heart.
Our conscious parenting vocabulary revolves around supportive communication. The goal of this approach is to build others up and never tear them down no matter what situation you find yourself in—calm or stressful, charged or joyful.
If you often find yourself at a loss for words when communicating with your children, here is some basic conscious parenting language to use for effective, life-giving communication.
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Compassionate Communication: A Primer on Conscious Parenting Language
Situation: You’re caught in an argument or a tense circumstance
CPR Language: Instead of “You always” or “You never,” say “It seems/feels.”
When you find yourself at what could be the start of a heated argument with your child, take a moment to step back and reframe what you’re about to say.
Instead of the usual accusatory, “You never clean your room,” try something less aggressive like, “It seems that you’re having a hard time keeping your room tidy.”
Words like “never” and “always” put your child in defensive mode, which could result in them shutting you out. Rephrase your words so your kid feels encouraged to open up and tell you the true root of the problem.
Situation: A celebratory occasion, such as your child receiving high grades at school
CPR Language: Instead of, “You’re so smart,” say, “Congratulations! I admire how hard you worked on that!”
One of the communication methods we teach is using acknowledgement instead of praise.
Praising a child for their intelligence or outward appearance teaches them to measure their self-worth based on superficial traits and external factors.
Acknowledgement, on the other hand, allows a child to connect to their own sense of accomplishment. It helps them become self-aware of their competencies and tap into how they feel about themselves.
Situation: Your child exhibited bad behavior
CPR Language: Instead of, “As punishment you’ll…,” say, “Can you tell me what made you act/react in this way?”
Simply punishing bad behavior never addresses the root of the problem. Rather than resorting to punishment, ask your child why they acted a certain way.
Was there a misunderstanding? Did they feel unheard, unseen, hungry, sad, or some other negative emotion? Once your child explains what caused their behavior, work on finding a solution together.
Situation: Describing your kid’s behavior
CPR Language: Instead of, “You’re a mess,” say, “You made a mess.”
There’s a big difference between telling your child their behavior was irresponsible and making them feel like they are irresponsible.
Your words have a major impact on your children! So use non-blameful descriptions of their behavior and avoid labeling them in a negative way that can undermine their self-confidence or self-love.
Situation: You lost your temper/lashed out/made a mistake
CPR Language: “I’m sorry.”
Traditional parenting says that parents should never apologize to their children. But our kids are human, too, and they deserve an apology when we’re in the wrong.
Saying the words, “I’m sorry,” lets your kid know that their parent is, in fact, human. It also sets you both on a path of mending and healing.
Words have the power to bring comfort and devastation, joy and pain. Let’s do our best to communicate with our children with the love and compassion they deserve.
Love and Blessings,
P.S. Want a chance to practice your new Conscious Parenting vocabulary? Join our private Facebook group to connect with like-minded parents around the world. We run live impromptu Tips for Parents in that private facebook group, join and request to be alerted when we go live and you can ask your individual questions.