Nov 14, 2022 in Coaching
Why Being Your Child’s Best Friend Doesn’t Work
Why Being Your Child's Best Friend Doesn't Work: The Guidance Approach to Parenting offers a healthier approach:
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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Do your interactions with your kid feel more like a friendship than a typical parent-child relationship?
Being best friends with your child sounds lovely, and it’s certainly born out of good intentions. But believe it or not, crossing this line is never in a child’s best interest. In fact, it signals a fundamental misunderstanding of your responsibilities as a parent.
The Problem with Trying to Be Your Child’s Best Friend
When you treat your child as a friend, you unwittingly burden them with your own emotional needs—and no child benefits from that kind of pressure.
Children inherently strive to please their parents, which can lead them to internalize responsibility for any stress that a parent discloses to them. They might react by actively getting involved in whatever situation causes their parent stress or passively suppressing their own emotional needs in an attempt to minimize additional stress in their parent’s life.
Add to myWE:
Does this mean there can’t be any elements of friendship in your parent-child relationship? Absolutely not! The Guidance Approach to Parenting offers a healthier approach to bonding with your children.
Using the Guidance Approach to Find the Balance
It’s possible to lead your family with empathy and kindness without verging into BFF territory. Guidance parenting practices offer a foundation of warmth, harmony, and preventive discipline to set you up for success.
The Guidance Approach to Parenting centers around the idea that children have equal moral worth as adults—and an equal right to have their needs met.
One of the most important tenets of this approach is parental leadership, which involves acknowledging that despite these equal rights, parents and children serve fundamentally different roles in a family.
As parents, your most important job is providing for the safety and health of your children. As children, their job is to learn and grow into well-adjusted people capable of continuing the cycle one day.
I like to use the example of an orchestra to illustrate this thinking. Your children are the musicians, and you are the conductor. Neither party is more important than the other, but it’s the conductor who guides the instrumentalists to make beautiful music.
It’s up to you as a parent to lead your children to their best performance by encouraging them and helping them back on track when they go astray.
Thinking of yourself as a benevolent leader is a good framework for navigating your parent-child relationship. It draws a boundary that prevents you from burdening your child with your needs while still emphasizing the importance of a strong bond.
If you have questions about this topic or anything else parenting-related, join us for our Tuesday Tips for Parents session inside our private Facebook group.
Love and Blessings,
P.S.– Want to know more about navigating those tricky teen years? Watch my segment on The MotherSide (ABC7, WJLA) about Evolving Your Parent-Child Relationship For the Teen Years. And don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel so you don’t miss a thing!