Oct 30, 2021 in Coaching

The Porn Killer

What are the effects of a partner thinking it's okay to look at porn? Will it change the dynamic of YOUR relationship?

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It’s funny to think that most men love the idea that there are many porn sites out there. It is more common for men to be on porn sites than women. By age 21 there are already roughly 85% of young men looking at porn and by that age close to 65% have seen porn. Yet some think porn is good for only short periods of time if the partners are trying to find ways to spice up their relationship, but what could have been intended for short-term use has the danger of becoming a long-term use then you can wave goodbye to what was once your happy marriage.

Did you know that when you watch porn it detours your brain to enjoy pleasure online than the person you are with or would be with? 

Did you know that just like most addictions, it takes you away from those people you love around you? Being faithful to one partner becomes a thing of the past and that’s why most turn to just having “friends with benefits” rather than being committed to one person. 

Did you know that watching porn also trains men how to treat women and women how to treat men as just a piece of meat instead of a human being? They watch how men/women are treated and desensitize them to believe this is the way you treat someone in order to have the pleasure they want. Also watching porn makes the woman/man believe that relationships have to be with that type of person only. He/She wants to bring the fantasy into the real world and it doesn’t work that way

Did you know that watching porn can also make him/her a cruel person because they want what they see and try to get that? If the man/woman in the video has it and seemed to enjoy it then why can’t the viewer.

Did you know that watching porn makes you only want to watch it more and eventually a man can become unable to perform with their partner but yet be fully aroused by what they see in the porn video?  

 

THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN A MAN/WOMAN WATCHES PORN IS:

 

One partner is only getting satisfied with porn videos while the other has no partner to be intimate with them at all

Porn will cause a person to eventually cheat. They want to go find someone that is willing to do what they saw in a video and then not only does that person continue with porn, but then they can become a habitual cheater

Porn can cause dangerous sexual activity with numerous partners, it can cause abuse to one partner as well

Porn pulls one partner away from their marriage; if they have children in the marriage, those children fall to the waste site and there are interlopers in the relationship that shouldn’t be there

Porn also makes people have compulsions they never would have had and it can become addictive in nature 

HOW DOES PORN ADDICTION AFFECT WOMEN (AND SOME MEN IF THEIR SPOUSE IS INTO PORN)?
 

Some Women can some of these symptoms because of the experience with their partner's addiction to porn:

 

- PTSD because of the betrayal of their partner and the change and behavior of that partner

- They can have recurring nightmares

- Compulsive thinking to where they replay over and over and see where/what went wrong

A constant fear of the situation/their partner

- Women may have a harder time sleeping but they think that the spouse is just waiting for him/her to go to sleep to enact the porn activity again

- Women become more depressed because they believe there is something wrong with them now and they aren’t good enough. If only they could have done this better…. Or that better… what if they said this differently… or that differently?

- Women can replay the first connotation of finding out about the addiction over and over and their self-worth, self-value, self-esteem drop tremendously and they feel they are no longer worthy of the love of any kind.

- Sometimes she may try to dress up for their partner in a sexy way as the women he sees the women in the porn sites and their partner has no interest in the real thing still. They prefer what is on porn sites. That in itself is another blow for a woman’s self-worth. What her man/woman hungered for from her, he has turned his fantasy on a fantasy woman he’ll never have.

 

ADVICE:

If one wants to fix their marriage they will do their best to make it work by getting professional help and showing their partner they are more important than any fantasy that is on video. They have a partner who wants to be by their side and be with them. Stick with the one who’s always been by your side

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