Oct 19, 2021 in Public Speaking

Being an Empath/Medium (Paranormal Sensitive)

What is it like being an empath/sensitive? How do you explain it to others? Does science accept it the paranormal?

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I’ve seen the paranormal since as far back as I can remember when I was three years of age. I remember visitors coming to my room when I was younger when my parents would be out in the living room and I was sent to bed. I thought my mom had her friends come over nightly to come to see how I was doing and check on me. Most times I had fun with them. All of sudden, the nice visitors stopped coming and I had other visitors come and begin to torment me. 

There used to be what I called The Grim Reaper type of figure in a dark robe that covered its face and its hands. The dark hole where the face would be was darker than dark and it would stand there at the end of my bed and face me. Never moving. Never making a sound. Just standing there. I remember that robe was so big and it was so tall, where the top of the head almost touched the 7+ ft ceiling of the room. It came for a long time and by morning it would disappear. 

Shortly after The Grim Reaper left, something else came for me. Something more terrifying in my mind. Something else to hurt and torment me almost nightly. Something else made sure I couldn't scream for help. I fought to free myself from its grasp and jump into my parent's bed and lie between them. It watched me from the foot of the bed between the rails and glare. Do you want to know what this thing was? I believe now as I look back at it that this was the Grim Reaper that now changed itself into a Blonde-haired, Blue-eyed little boy who had a peg leg. Yes, you read that right. I said a peg leg. Like a pirate with a peg leg. 

Close your eyes, imagine a small child hearing another small child's footstep approaching from the kitchen. With each small step, there was a loud clop that dragged upon the ceramic floor, and then as your heart races faster you begin to feel almost out of breath. You hear that small child step down from the kitchen into the bedroom and peek around the dresser that blocked the view of the doorway. That blonde-haired boy with blue eyes slowly walked around the side of the dresser and stood there. First with a smile on his face. Then the smile became frightening and menacing and you could feel like you wanted to run but there was nowhere to go. His demeanor would change. His face turned into this evil look and that grin that would appear made you realize something bad was going to happen. The intensity and air of the room change. My voice seemed to disappear as my parents lay nearby across the room and I couldn't even scream to get them as they slept. That child then charged at me. Removing his peg leg and hitting me with it until I was able to get free and jump into my parent’s bed. I could hear him behind me chasing to catch up to me so I couldn’t get away and every time I did and climbed in between my parents he’d stand at the end of the bed and look through the railings at the foot of the bed and sway back and forth. Expressionless. Letting the rails rub against his face as he pressed his face into the railings swaying back and forth. We locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, I woke up and it was morning. As each day came, I always seemed to forget about each night, and then when the evenings would hit and I knew it was time to go to bed, I’d remember why I was afraid to go to sleep. I was afraid to lay on the opposite side of the room from my parent's bed because “that boy” would come and get me. He always came to get me. I would fight my mom to stay up and not go to sleep. She would think that I was just being a child who didn’t want to go to bed and I couldn’t explain what was going on. What I was seeing. What was after me? That child’s face, nails, the skin was so cold. I remember seeing close to his nails when he’d grab me and the tips of his fingers were almost blue. His hair was always messy…. But that peg leg of his was so frightening. Just the sound it made as he made his way through the kitchen. The step then drags and clop against ceramic. It always sounded like it was on a hardwood floor yet our kitchen didn’t have hardwood. All I could do was lie there in bed... All I could do was wait. Wait to see his fingertips curl around the dresser... the silence was so loud in the room for me, then his head would quickly peak around the side of the dresser and he’d stare at me. Finally, what seemed like an eternity, he’d slowly step out from beside it and just stand there looking at me for quite a while… The room started to feel different and I knew something was about to happen. He’d have this evil sneer come across his face and I would pull the blankets up to my nose and that’s when he would charge at me and pounce on me in bed.  There were a couple of times that I thought I wouldn’t see him and I’d wake up with someone messing with my legs and I thought it was my brother trying to get in bed with me and when I’d lift my head to see, it was this boy who would then jump on top of me and hit me with his leg that he’d taken off. I would always manage to get away and jump in between my parents and that boy would look between the rails at the foot of the bed and just stare at him. He’d move his face along the rails of the bed, swaying from side to side. Eventually, I’d fall asleep.

 Some nights, (which was rare) I would get up and go into the bathroom and there would be a woman's hands that would reach out of the mirror above the sink as if she was reaching for me. Other instances would be that in this bathroom across the room from the sink was this built-in closet that protruded from the wall. The door would always seem to come ajar as I sat on the toilet and I would see and sense this person staring at me. I would end up having to run across the bathroom, through the kitchen, and jump into bed and cover up because I was scared. 

Later we came to find out that my dad kept it a secret that a woman was murdered in the bathroom in that little house we lived in. Her throat was slit and she died by the toilet.

 You would think moving would have solved my ghost problems for sure and boy was I relieved that we moved up the street from that crazy little house… Well, not so much… Being sensitive to these types of things, I’ve learned there is no freedom from ghosts/spirits. You just learn to co-exist with those who don’t physically exist anymore...



When we moved from that little house in the alley that was across from a park, we moved into a bigger home. I was relieved. I thought my night torment was over but it seems we only walked into a new situation. The moment we came to see the house we were going to move into we heard noises. It sounded like someone was banging on the pipes in the basement and my dad went into the basement to see if someone was hiding there. He came back upstairs where we were. Suddenly, the doors upstairs began opening and closing hard. They were being slammed nonstop until my dad decided to go upstairs and say something then it all stopped.

Within a week we had moved everything in and within a week things started happening that made me nervous to want to sleep at night. There were two dominant figures in the home that made their presence known. There was a woman whom we (meaning my siblings) nicknamed “Flower Lady” who had a scent of flowers and she made me feel at peace and calm. Then there was “Musk Man” who wasn’t so nice. He had a very gross musk smell that came with him and his presence made me feel uncomfortable. I was anxious and he made me feel like something bad was going to happen. It wasn’t good. Living in the home for over 15 years, again I learned to coexist with spirits/ghosts that had been living there already.

As I got older I came across many other spirits. Some needed help. Some wanted to give a message. Some just weren't ready to move on and wanted to just remain where they were. Some just continue to do their daily routine.

Along the way, I decided to be a founder of a great Paranormal Group because I wanted to help not just the ghosts/spirits, but the people who live with them. 

Being a paranormal sensitive/medium I have seen ghost hunting groups who mistreat these spirits/ghosts as if they are some sort of prop. These are still human beings without bodies. Then you have groups go in and pull out an ouija board and want to “communicate” with spirits/ghosts. These groups have no idea how wrong that is. They are opening doors that they don’t understand and causing bad things to enter. 

Some even lie and tell the spirit they will help them or will do something for them and then don’t after the spirit does what is asked of them. It’s wrong. A spirit doesn’t need to be manipulated, lied to, etc so one can validate their existence. It’s wrong. 

I’ve also been asked how do I make non-believers believe in spirits/ghosts? My answer is quite simple. I don’t. It’s not my job to convince someone that they exist. If you’ve never had an experience you can’t force an experience to happen. One may NEVER have an experience. There are some that never had an experience and finally had one and they became a believer. It’s not my job to convince someone. Nor should you try. 

In the meantime, I just go on each day and do my normal routine, and if a spirit/ghost happens to show itself to me or wants to talk I am here to listen, but my goal is to help them move on if possible.

Do you think you’re haunted? Do you think you are being watched? Do you hear your name called? Have you thought you’ve seen someone? There is good news. 90% of people that think they are haunted are really not. There are obvious explanations for what they think they are hearing and/or seeing.

I think I have a spirit in my house and it’s evil or worse... Good news there as well, 90% of what you think is evil IS NOT. There is a couple of ghost shows on TV that automatically makes claims of something being evil or worse at a location. NOT TRUE! On rare occasions, it does happen, but it's not as often as it’s made to seem. 

Not all voices that you hear that are scratchy are evil. It’s not bad. It’s the voice of a person whose body is now invisible. How do you know that person didn’t have surgery or something before they died? How do you know it’s just not their voice?

What’s more irritating to me is the fact that I see certain ghost-hunting groups on TV swear that any female child spirit that one comes across is EVIL! That’s not true! Not all child spirits are from a different realm ready to cause harm to someone.

What are some things that I have come across that people have sworn to me that their place is haunted and I found logical explanations to some of these situations that were told to me that I was able to debunk? 

  1. A ball dropped on the floor and it seemed to move from one area to the middle of the floor - the floor was not level

  2. There is a knock on the wall that happens periodically - Behind the wall, there is the piping that knocks against the inside of the wall now and again making it sound like someone was banging on the wall

  3. Things are falling off the shelves on the wall - when you place wet items on the shelf that is already not level things will slip off the shelf

  1. I’ve seen numerous people take a picture from the outside of the location on a sunny day and there are trees in the reflection and they will swear to me that I need to focus on that blob type image in the picture - most times when people take pictures aimed at glass what they catch is the reflection of trees or something behind them and your mind wants to make sense of the image and causes matrix. Your mind will try to turn the image into an image in your mind that is most recognizable. Now, this isn’t the case all the time. I have seen great images caught in the reflection of windows of an actual apparition caught behind someone or into a residence/location by snapping images. I’m discussing those who take a picture and see the reflection of a tree or trees and you see the branches and leaves and if there is a branch that is bent differently and there is a larger opening between branches, people will assume that they can see a blob in the image and swear it’s something evil coming after them.

  2. You’ve gone into the basement and the light would flicker on and on and you just know someone is there with you - well, it could be several things. #1 - you have loose wiring or brackets near the stairs to your basement so when you walk down the steps it knocks against the bracket or wiring and it shakes it causing the flickering or #2 - it could be bad wiring all together

  3. You feel you are being watched - in most cases, the EMF (electromagnetic field) could be really high in certain areas which can cause:

    1. Sleep issues

    2. Insomnia

    3. Fatigue

    4. Headaches

    5. Paranoia

    6. Sometimes skin irritations

    7. Anxiety

    8. Changes in mood

    9. Dizziness

    10. Irritability

  4. You saw a shadow in the hall or near you - Sometimes, it’s your own shadow and isn’t paranormal

  5. You feel paralyzed and can’t seem to move in your own bed - sometimes, people have what is called sleep paralysis. It’s where your body is going from full sleep to waking up and it causes you to not be able to move your body yet your eyes are opened and you are aware of what is going on. Some people may feel pressure on their chest or as if they are being choked. It’s best to be able to realize that it’s more likely sleep paralysis than something evil holding you down. If more people look at it more scientifically then it should calm their fears and help them not panic and think something is there to harm them. 

Now there are some cases where you may have something come and bother you in your sleep, but a more obvious case should be looked at and talked about before going towards the thought that an invisible something is attacking you.

I’ve had to show people to look for obvious answers to the things that are happening around them. Don’t automatically panic and think a spirit is haunting you. That’s normally not the case. 


For those that are determined to do their own ghost hunting here are some tips to follow:

  1. Understand that these were once living breathing individuals and now just exist without that body

  2. Don’t treat these people as your prop to prove that spirits exist

  3. Don’t yell, talk down, demean, disrespect the spirits

  4. DO NOT use Ouija Boards to “talk to a spirit” because you have no idea what you are asking to come from one place to another. I believe “you are tearing holes from one world to the next” so you can end an Ouija session, but you aren’t closing the actual door and now you’ve just opened it for anything and everything to pass to and from where it was to where you opened the spiritual door.

  5. Respect Respect Respect those who are no longer living. Did I say Respect? Show respect! 

  6. Don’t ask the spirits to do something ridiculous so you can film it for your pleasure

  7. Don’t make promises you don’t plan on keeping with the spirit(s). Meaning - don’t tell a spirit that if they “perform” for you in some way that you will do XYZ for them and then don’t do it. You’ve now deceived that spirit


Ghosts are around because they may not have had a chance to finish what they wanted to do and have returned to try to complete their task(s). 


IE: The Ghosts of Gettysburg. These brave men still linger to finish their mission. Which was to protect and serve their country. It doesn’t matter what side they were fighting for. They still believe that the war rages on and so they continue to fight.

Sometimes spirits linger around because they have a message that they want to be relayed to someone or several people. Some don’t know that they have passed on. Maybe it was a sudden death and they are left confused as to what is going on, while others just aren’t accepting of their passing and weren’t ready to go.


I get asked this question A LOT. I don’t believe all ghosts/spirits are mean. I believe several things are happening:

  1. There’s a lack of understanding from the person who sees a spirit and automatically thinks the spirit is mean or worse when a spirit is just trying to let someone know he/she/they are there

  2. Spirits may make noise or move things to try and let you know they are there. So if you see something levitating in front of you or slide across the room or something else … don’t automatically assume THE SPIRIT IS MEAN OR WORSE… 90% of the time that is not true.

  3. Some spirits/ghosts as I mentioned before don’t know they’ve passed on or refuse to accept they are dead and will mess with people to try and scare them out of what was their home by any means possible. Think about it… if you didn’t know you passed on and all of a sudden your stuff was gone and someone was moving in and changing how you decorated and was changing things up and they couldn’t see and you had the chance to make a big noise and scare them so you could have your old to yourself again I’m sure you’d do that too… Doesn’t make you a bad person. You just may not understand that you’ve passed away or you are just refusing to move on because you are stubborn.

  4. Some spirits/ghosts are harrassed by the living. People are always wanting a spirit to perform and do something for them when the spirit(s) may not want to

Some people accuse the spirit(s) of being some evil entity and/or worse and talk down to the spirit(s) with no respect. So OF COURSE, the spirit(s) are going to get tired of being accused of something that they aren’t and get mad. Just because they have nobody anymore doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings.

  1. Some spirits/ghosts were just mean when they were living and sadly, when they passed, they are still mean after the fact and the person on the receiving end gets to see, feel, and/or hear that

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some spirits that are evil, but that’s normally not the case. There are spirits that claim to be something they aren’t as well just to scare the person to make them leave them alone. 


This is still up in the air about this. Some believe certain people are more sensitive to them while others believe some people’s minds are more open to any/all possibilities. For those who are sensitive, they are like beacons for the spirits to come to them.


Here are a few things that one should always have with them:

  1. Whistles (if walkie talkies are drained or break you can still be located. So blow your whistle in case of emergency)

  2. Compass - because some of your other equipment can give false positives, you can use a compass to see if there is energy around you. The energy affects even a compass and can cause it to spin when it shouldn’t

  3. K2 EMF Meter - can be used to communicate with a spirit by lighting up to give yes or no answers

  4. Flashlights - if you loosen the end of one, it can be used as a way to communicate by giving a yes or no answers

  5. Voice Recorders - always start by saying your location, who you're with if you're on a certain floor say what floor you're on. If you make a noise say that it was you on the recorder, try not to whisper so softly that it’s mistaken for the voice of a spirit being caught

  6. Cameras - You will need full-spectrum cameras. Something that can see in the dark and capture things that the naked eye can’t see at the time of the investigation

  7. Batteries - you will need all types of  batteries for your equipment  so stock up

  8. Full Spectrum still camera - be able to take actual photos that can see in the dark in case something is there and it can be seen by the camera if not by the naked eye

  9. Thermal Imaging Camera - helps you see hot and cold spots of what is around you

  10. Kinect SLS camera - helps you be able to see if something else is there with you by giving it a stick figure shape

  11. Equipment Case - you will need something to put your equipment in that will be protective. Or use something of your own to protect your equipment

  12. Mel-Meter - reads the temperature around you

  13. Rem Pod - the spirit can touch it to help give you yes and no answers or let you know that they are around you

  14. Spirit Box - when you ask questions you can turn on the spirit box and hope to get a response through it. My only issue is that sometimes what is said isn’t clear and then a person in a group will say that the spirit said this or that when that is not what is heard at all.

  15. Walkie Talkies - as a way to communicate with the group

Other things that would be needed on an investigation that isn’t ghost-related but for the protection of your group would be:

  1. Bug spray

  2. Medical info on each staff member and in case of emergency contact info and a hospital request where one would want to go in case of an accident if possible

  3. First-Aid equipment like gauze, band-aids, ace bandage, tape, scissors, swabs, etc.

  4. Swabs for Bee Stings

  5. Tasers - can be used for protection if you are uneasy in a location


  1. Do not put on cologne or perfume - it will prevent you from smelling any phantom smell(s)

  2. Do not smoke before going on an investigation - the same reasoning as above; it will prevent you and others from smelling any phantom smells because you’ll only be able to smell the cigarette smoke

  3. The basic rule of thumb - DO NOT wear/put something on your body that will be an overpowering smell that you can’t smell anything else around you that will stop you from being able to investigate because all they smell is you.


  1. Be respectful

  2. Know some information about a location before going to a location

  3. DO NOT use Ouija boards … you are only causing more problems for yourselves and a location

  4. DON’T use spirits as your prop for your amusement

  5. DON’T make promises you don’t intend on keeping

  6. Look for obvious things in a location before claiming it to be haunted

  7. DO NOT threaten a spirit(s)

  8. DO NOT think a spirit is EVIL because YOU don’t understand what is going on. Whether you hear noises, voices, etc. 

  9. Did I mention … BE RESPECTFUL!!!!

  10. DO NOT expect a spirit(s) to want to talk to you unless he/she/they want to (you got to remember that there may be a spirit(s) who have groups come in all the time and ask them to do things ALL THE TIME or aren’t respectful and they don’t like it)

  11. Let the spirit(s) know your name(s).. Make sure you make a known introduction to the location.

  12. Be understanding and know that spirits work on their time, not your time

  13. If you have been scratched or marked by a spirit - take pictures of it and take pictures of your hands to show that there is no blood on your fingernails from scratching yourself

  14. I know you may get scared and that fight or flight moment takes over, but if a ghost decides to interact with you, please don’t yell out curse words because he/she/they complied

    1. EX: What the f--k?! Did you just see that s--t?! (it’s unnecessary and shows a lack of professionalism)

  15. If you’re scared, please don’t run (unless the stuff is being thrown directly at you or you are being harmed in any way), you are there to collect evidence. You can’t collect it when you are running in the opposite direction

  16. Stay with a partner at all times. If one person is going down the hall and one is on the other end that is fine but doesn’t disappear far away from your partner without telling them where you are going. Why? Because if you get hurt or are caught in a situation that no one knows about, your team won’t know where you are or what happened. So stay together.

  17. Remember if you are going to ghost hunt in a cemetery, contact the local police department so they don’t come there to arrest you for loitering. In fact, in any commercial location, you go to it’s best to let the police department know in case a neighbor or passerby doesn’t think you are breaking and entering a location. Residential homes shouldn’t be a problem with the owner's permission of course. 

  18. Make sure you have your ID with you at all times (I personally had made my Group, ID name tags with a picture on the front), or wear your group shirts with who you represent

  19. Keep all information confidential about a location unless you have written consent to share some info about that location

  20. Make sure you have appropriate insurance when you investigate in case someone gets hurt. Some locations will not let you on their property unless you have insurance in case you/they get hurt or you accidentally break something on the premises. You need to be covered.

  21. Please don’t break into abandoned places to investigate just to catch something on camera. 



Each group has its own rules. Not that one group is wrong and another isn’t. Sometimes, groups just make up their own rules to what their beliefs are. 


Spirits/ghosts are not accepted by the scientific community at all. There is no way to prove that they exist. Even if one sees, hears, feels them. There is no way in the scientific community to prove their existence.


I was raised that God made heaven and the earth. God made the seen and unseen. We are to believe there is a heaven, yet we’ve never been there. We can only imagine what it looks like because of what is written. We are to believe in His Angels and we have only a description. We are to believe in the Holy Spirit and we have no idea what the Holy Spirit looks like. Most of us believe in God or a greater being and have never seen him. So why can’t there be spirits? In the bible, there was a man that called forth spirits/ghosts of those passed on. So why can’t there be more than what is written? Am I forcing you to believe in the unknown? The Unseen? Of course not. I am just stating my point of view. 

I've lived my life with ghosts and I've had to learn to co-exist with them. Some people just don't believe in spirits. They have that mentality "I have to see it to believe it" yet they don't see God and believe there is a "Higher Power"... but it's not for me to force anyone to believe. My stories and wisdom are to help others feel they aren't alone. 


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