Oct 18, 2021 in Coaching

The Reason Women (Men) Leave Relationships

What makes a woman (man) truly leave a relationship? Here are a few important reasons to understand why.

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THE REAL REASON WOMEN (MEN) LEAVE RELATIONSHIPS

Women are unique human beings. They need an emotional connection, not just a physical one. They want someone who is a full-time partner, not just a temporary partner. They want to be matched with the same love, time, and attention that they give their partner. Not just a partner who constantly takes and doesn’t reciprocate any time, attention, or love back to the woman he says he loves

  1. Are you present in your relationship? Does she feel like she has to constantly chase you down to get any kind of time with you? Do you have dinners together? Do you still go on dates together? Do you plan any surprise moments with her as she does you? Sometimes, no matter how good the woman is, the partner, be it a man/woman will make up an excuse(s) as to why they can’t be present.

    1. He/She are spending time with family and friends

    2. He/She has to work late nights almost all the time
    3. He/She wants their time off of work to be focused on just their hobby

So where does that leave you on their priority list? Are you anywhere near the top of the list? What men/women don’t realize is that they so easily take their partner for granted. Expecting that He/She will always be there no matter what. Despite what he/she is being put through.

  1. The woman feels alone and made to feel invisible in the relationship. Everyone wants to feel that they mean something to someone. So if she feels that she is alone and invisible she will eventually move on and not wait around for him/her to decide that she is only needed for his/her convenience only. Has she even come to you with her problems and you tell her to “get over it” or that you don’t have time for her? If she talks to you, do you tend to pick up your phone and tune her out because you don’t feel what she says is important to you, yet you expect her to listen to what you say? You make her feel so lonely and it breaks her heart. You make her feel worthless, useless, or worse about herself. Something that she doesn’t deserve in a relationship.

  2. You should be able to talk about things that bother you in the relationship. Your insecurities to work on together and if you push her away or make her feel bad about her insecurities, you are only doing more damage than good. Her insecurities by you ignoring them only brings forth jealousy, bitterness, anger, wanting/needing more control. You may make her feel so bad about who she is that in turn you have her asking for permission to hang out with friends, go to the store, spend time with family, etc. Next thing you know you’ll want to check her phone, text messages, and control all her actions and she isn’t going to want to be with someone who turns out to be a control freak.

  3. There is no more passion for her in the bedroom or anywhere else. A sexual relationship is a healthy relationship. Intimacy is very crucial and brings forth positivity and happiness. Keep in mind, a woman is entitled to leave if they are not satisfied in a relationship. You CANNOT force someone to stay with you and you aren’t giving them what they need in a relationship.

  4. DO NOT compare what your wife does to something your ex had done before. No one wants to be compared to an ex in a relationship, a colleague, friend, family member, or anyone else. That’s just asking for serious trouble and a no win-win situation for either party. If you have a woman feeling so low about herself because of this she is a victim of emotional, verbal, and maybe even physical abuse and manipulation.

  5. For a relationship to work, it has to be a 2-way street. It has to be balanced. It needs to be fair. It shouldn’t be placed all on her shoulders and she just gives and gives and the spouse, be it male/female partner, does nothing to give back to their spouse/partner.

Both have an equal share in household chores. It shouldn’t be that that the man/woman works and the one that stays home is responsible for EVERYTHING. That the spouse that works job is to only work and that’s that. The one at home is responsible for cooking, cleaning, the children, doctor’s appointments, outside events for the children, dinner parties, family events, and whatever else comes along while the other partner doesn’t have to partake in anything else. The woman has a large responsibility as it is. Most people don’t realize what a woman’s worth is. Just because she may be at home with the child doesn’t mean she isn’t doing anything. She is:

  • Caretaker

  • Chef

  • Doctor

  • Housecleaner

  • Teacher

  • Sews/fixes clothing

  • Laundry Person

  • Appointment Maker/Keeper

  • Shuttle driver for children

  • Pays bills

  • Grocery Shopper

The list could go on and on and yet, I’ve noticed how men/women will say that the one who is at home does nothing except sit around all day. It’s not like the spouse has to do anything except cook and take care of the kids. As if everything happens on its own. If women were actually paid for all they do at home each day, on average a woman’s/man’s worth for taking care of the home would be over $40,000 a month.

  • Do you have your wife/husband always take time off of work if they happen to work outside the home because you refuse to take time off of your own job to help out?

  • Does your wife/husband always try to get you gifts and rarely get anything in return?

  • Does he/she give to you intimately and not receive as often or at all?

These imbalances are more than enough for a woman who loves you to leave the relationship and it shouldn’t be of any surprise why she is leaving.

  1. When she needs you, are you there emotionally for her or do you disappear at her time of need? You see, a woman needs a partner who is there through the good times as well as the bad times. They don’t want to feel as if they are dating an inanimate object because what is the point of her sticking around for that? If you are cold, callous, make her feel unwanted, unloved, unappreciated, not wanted or needed then she will leave and you can’t blame her for wanting to feel like she matters. She will move on.

  2. When in a relationship she doesn’t like to be lied to and doesn’t want to feel like she is a secret in the relationship. If you truly love her and want to be with her then don’t make her feel like no one is supposed to know that the two of you ARE an item. Otherwise, it causes tension in the relationship and already brings trust issues to the forefront. Healthy relationships between a couple involve communicating with one another with honesty. Besides if you say you love her, why would you hide her from family and/or friends? Why the secret? If your family can’t accept the woman you are with then that is their problem, not yours. They aren’t dating her. YOU ARE! You can’t have it both ways. You can’t make promises to the one you love that “eventually” you will tell your family about her, but now isn’t the time. If now isn’t the time, no other time will be the perfect moment to speak to your family/friends. You CANNOT keep the one you are with a secret. You only make the woman you say you love to feel unworthy, useless, and have so many mixed emotions about herself, and in hindsight, she may not say it but she says to herself and realizes you aren’t a man/woman at all. The relationship is going to fall apart and she is only going to wait to either walk away without you knowing it. It will be too late.

Also realize that if a man/woman you are in a relationship with says that “He/She needs to understand that I can’t tell my family because it’s going to cause a problem” … let me say this, there is NO EXCUSE… He/She doesn’t have to UNDERSTAND anything about issues you may/may not have with your family and you need to be man/woman enough to handle those issues head-on if you truly love the one you are with.

I can tell you now that most men in relationships automatically say, “Well she knew what she was getting into when she met me so I’m not changing what I’m doing” or the typical, “If only she would have waited a little longer… I was going to tell my family, friends, etc…” 

The response to that is that she didn’t know what she was getting herself into because you lied to her about your intentions. She didn’t know she’d be a secret for a lifetime if you had your way nor if she waited -a little longer- did you have plans on making it known to family, friends, etc about your relationship with her. You wanted her to hold on to hope and fantasy of empty promises that you never intended on giving to her. 

She gave up so much for you and you in turn gave up so little for her. You expected her to acquiesce to you, and you, in turn, do nothing for her except make her feel bad for not doing more for you, and in return, you refuse to do the same for her.

That is the real reason a woman (man) will leave a relationship!

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