Mar 16, 2020 in Business Coaching
Overcome hurdles as a leader and a business owner.
Discover your strengths, weaknesses and learn how to be resilient.
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
BJ Jhaveri is an Online Business and Career Coach with over 15 years of experience in coaching professionals and over 25 years in Business Development, Recruitment, & Talent Management offering a unique approach using several methods, techniques, and strategies in his online sessions. BJ Jhaveri is also an Advisory Board Member of the CX@Rutgers University and has been awarded the Community Star award from Edison Job Corps. He also has a Letter of appreciation from the NJ Chamber of Commerce Foundation. Let's get to know more about BJ:
WikiExpert: You offer a Neuro-emotional language, please explain a little about what this approach is, how it works, and what are its benefits?
BJ Jhaveri: Neuro emotional language is a way of speaking that simultaneously engages both the rational and emotional parts of the brain. It works by asking questions that concurrently connect our thinking and feeling, and take our awareness to a deeper level.
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The main benefits of this approach are for stimulating our thinking in an intuitive manner. It helps in guiding us towards the best step forward.
WikiExpert: So, you have been coaching professionals both online and offline for over 15 years, tell us about your experience?
BJ Jhaveri: It started initially when I helped tech folks at my workplace to get their next project. Then I started conducting career coaching workshops at various places on a voluntary basis. This led to paid engagements for career coaching. Slowly I started getting Clients who wanted to accelerate their growth in their existing company. For them, I focused on providing soft skills coaching as the key element to propel their growth.
WikiExpert: What have you learned along the way?
BJ Jhaveri: I’ve learned that I don’t have all the answers! I simply have the confidence to co-create the answers with my Client. Also, I’ve learned that I can only help a person change an approach or behavior which they want to change. And by becoming more open in sharing about my flaws & shortcomings, I improve the level of trust with my Client. This empowers them to share their own fears, dilemmas, and hurdles.
WikiExpert: What was the most difficult challenge during your time of coaching and how did you overcome it?
BJ Jhaveri: The biggest challenge for me was to enhance my listening skills. Earlier I used to jump to conclusions and start providing prescriptive answers. Then I reduced my urge to speak and just be present in that moment, and empathetically listen to my Client. Now I’m practicing increasing the time of silence after I ask an intuitive question. The time that elapses stimulates deeper thinking in my Client’s mind leading to better results.
WikiExpert: Please enlighten us a little about leadership development, how does it help Clients who are leaders and why they should take up these online sessions?
BJ Jhaveri: Leadership development is about enhancing the traits and characteristics of those who lead people. The title is not relevant, anyone who manages or works with other people has an opportunity to be a leader. I help leaders identify their leadership style, assess their current level of effectiveness, and determine their growth areas. Then we jointly plan actions for modifying specific behaviors to further enhance their leadership skills.
Leadership development is beneficial for those who want to increase their self-awareness, improve their interpersonal skills, and expand their influence.
WikiExpert: In your opinion, what is the most common mistake that you see leaders make and how do you help them to fix it?
BJ Jhaveri: One of the most common mistakes that leaders make is to project that they’re right all the time. I help them understand that it’s better to be authentic and own their mistakes and shortcomings. They learn that failure is an integral part of everyone’s journey and if they’re not seeking stretch goals & even failing while achieving some of their goals; then they’re not challenging themselves to their full potential.
WikiExpert: How do you identify your Client’s leadership styles? What factors do you look at?
BJ Jhaveri: For identifying my Client’s leadership styles, I use an assessment grid based on 4 factors: Strategic, Directive, Collaborative, Tactical. This provides a bifurcation as to whether a leader is purposeful, influential, considerate, organized, etc.
WikiExpert: Is there any specific "style" or quality that every leader should have, or you feel that each and everyone should be unique?
BJ Jhaveri: While each and everyone needs to be unique and no specific style fits all situations; some common qualities that every leader needs to have are Empathy and Integrity. As leaders are meant to lead people it is imperative that they are humanistic. Also, as other people are impacted by their behavior it is vital for them to be of high integrity.
WikiExpert: You published an article on WikiExpert, Resilience enabled my inner growth. Resilience is indeed a difficult skill to hone, how do you help your Clients with being resilient and with overcoming a negative situation that they are placed in?
BJ Jhaveri: Yes, resilience is a difficult skill to hone and it’s not cultivated in favorable conditions.
In order to become resilient, I help my Client introspect the event in a non-judgmental manner. This enables them to reassess the situation and uncover the underlying reasons for this occurrence. Going forward they learn to remove the rigidity in their approach and start adopting newer alternatives. In turn, this fortifies their belief in their self-worth and reassures them about their unique abilities to find a solution. This thinking flexes their emotional muscles and breeds confidence to relentlessly pursue their goals with zeal.
WikiExpert: You also help Clients to conduct a SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) analysis. Please explain the importance of this and how it can help businesses.
BJ Jhaveri: Conducting a SWOT helps a Client evaluate their strengths & weakness with regards to their current situation. Upon learning their strengths, they would leverage them for pursuing new opportunities or maximizing their current opportunities. Also, it would help them understand & manage threats or uncover potential threats that hinder their progress.
WikiExpert: Another great article that you published on WikiExpert, Building your Emotional Intelligence to ensure success and happiness, was an interesting read! Please enlighten us on how Emotional Intelligence can benefit managers, business owners, executives, etc. Why is it an important skill to master?
BJ Jhaveri: For professionals in the early stage of their careers, cognitive intelligence is the basis of their functional excellence in their job. Whereas for managers, business owners, and executives their work is less of an individual performer and more about their impact on the performance of their team. Hence building emotional intelligence becomes essential for their effectiveness and future growth.
While the functional competence might stay the same for managers and executives, by growing their emotional intelligence they become a better leader & a better human being. This enhances their intrinsic satisfaction leading to happiness.
WikiExpert: What are the common obstacles that you see business owners, leaders and executives struggle with? What are the key steps to identifying them?
BJ Jhaveri: The most common obstacle is their struggle in changing some of their behaviors that impact their influence & image. Despite becoming aware of the need to alter their behaviors, they struggle in making the required change. The key steps are to introspect the situations or circumstances which trigger a habitual response. I help them view the underlying beliefs that cause them to choose this response.
WikiExpert: Among your many services, you are also an Online Career Coach. Please tell us how you help job seekers to get the job that they want?
BJ Jhaveri: For job seekers, I start by helping them pinpoint their key differentiators. By having a better understanding of their differentiators, we map the type of job roles that most optimally utilize their differentiators. In these roles, they are naturally inclined to excel and outperform others. It provides a high ROI for the employer and thus improves my Client’s probability of getting selected for that job.
Next, we articulate their achievements in their recent jobs. Then we place the achievement statements appropriately on the resume to accentuate their unique strengths. Also, we remove or reduce the verbiage on non-relevant aspects in the resume. Next, we work on enhancing their LinkedIn profile as it’s the most viewed aspect in addition to the resume. Then I help them prepare their interview script based on customized questions that are typically asked for the targeted job role. These could include questions that are competency-based, work-related, situation/scenario type, behavior focused, etc. Then I conduct mock interview sessions to prep them for their job interviews.
WikiExpert: How do you help Clients to succeed in their careers?
BJ Jhaveri: My coaching process is based on combining the intrinsic and extrinsic elements of my Client’s work-life journey. The first step is to assess their current situation and their unique strengths. Next, we define their goals in terms of specific objectives and timelines. Then we evaluate their current work environment based on authority vs. accountability. They learn to focus on specific initiatives and projects in order to catalyze their breakthroughs. This would increase their self-awareness, self-management, and enhance their professional relationships.
Finally, we take steps to amplify their presence both inside & outside their organization. Using this process enables them to succeed in their current role and ascend to their next level.
WikiExpert: You are in the process of writing a book, “The Journey of a Business Leader”-, congratulations! Tell us a little about it!
BJ Jhaveri: My upcoming book is about a business leader’s journey. It’s a creative non-fiction write-up that is inspired by real-life events. The stories are altered to make it of value to the reader. It weaves through the journey of an Engineer who moves into sales roles during his early career days and then gets into a startup business with a few friends. Even though the business grows he finds himself not in alignment with his partners’ way of doing business. So, he decides to come out of business, however, he feels guilty of leaving his friends and gets into a depression. This spurs some soul searching through contemplation & meditation and facilitates inner development. Then he resurrects and starts his own company and along the way develops some differentiated products and services. It has stories related to the dilemmas we face when making decisions, team spirit, women empowerment, thinking and reflecting, moments of discovery, etc.
Now, let's get to know more about BJ:
WikiExpert: When you're not coaching, where can we find you? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
BJ Jhaveri: When I’m not coaching, I enjoy watching a romantic or an action movie. In my spare time, I like to read books. I also find time to meditate and do yoga exercises.
WikiExpert: You are originally from India, but you currently reside in the USA. Was it a difficult move?
BJ Jhaveri: My move from India to the US was smooth as my employer managed all the logistics and my initial stay in New York. Thanks to my neighbors and workmates, I and my family got easily assimilated into the US.
WikiExpert: If there was anything that you could change about your life, what would it be?
BJ Jhaveri: If I could change something about my life, it would be to get my family members and close friends to be with me in the US.
WikiExpert: In your opinion, what has been your biggest success to date?
BJ Jhaveri: My biggest success to date was turning around a company. I used to work for an I.T services company that faced a decline in their revenue and profit. Through perseverance and missionary zeal, I succeeded in developing new business, hired and trained a team of recruiters and sales executives, and built new alliances.
What are you waiting for? Message BJ Jhaveri for free today and book a session with him!