Jun 7, 2019 in Therapy

How to be happy in your marriage and relationship.

A guide to keeping the spark alive in your marriage.

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Moushumi Ghose, also known as Mou is a licensed marriage, family, Psychotherapist, and Sex Therapist. She has appeared on numerous TV shows including Investigation Discoveries, Hollywood Entertainment Today, and Socal Now KCAL 9. Mou has also been featured in major publications such as the Huffington Post, Goodtherapy.org, Hustler Hollywood. She is the author of 3 books, and the creator of a Documentary Film. She emphasizes celebrating our differences and finding real-world solutions. Her focus is on empowerment, encouraging you to have a voice and find acceptance.

Mou has been an activist and an advocate for sexual freedom for many years. She has also taught in the education sector as an adjunct faculty and instructor at both Alliant International University's California School of Professional Psychology, and Pacific Oaks College. She is also a host for several educational entities. 

She also worked for almost 2 decades in social services, music, media, and technology. She has written and worked with various musicians and Los Angeles based rock bands, including Ze Auto Parts, and Black Flame 13. Let's get to know more about Mou: 

WikiExpert: In your opinion, what is the biggest problem that couples of today's times are facing?

Moushumi Ghose: First of all, I like to say "partners" instead of couples. In today's climate, and in my line of work, couple's therapy feels like an outdated term, as many people are choosing to have more fluid relationships, often with more than one partner. In relationships, however many of the same concerns still prevail. Questions about loyalty, questions about how to keep the spark alive, wondering how to maintain one's autonomy and still be heard and get our needs met. People are recognizing more and more than looking outside of the box maybe healthy not just for themselves but for their relationships also.   

WikiExpert: How did you develop an interest in psychotherapy and marriage counseling?

Moushumi Ghose: My interest in relational psychotherapy came more out of a passion to support the LGBTQ community in having more visibility and voice when it came to equal rights. I see myself more as an educator and supportive coach sometimes than a psychotherapist, although psychotherapy is a lot about breaking down these specific lessons and ideologies for more specific individual concerns.

WikiExpert: How do you help your clients with achieving a happy, successful marriage and a healthy sex life?

Moushumi Ghose: I think our biggest strength lies not only in knowing ourselves, and our needs, but being able to utilize our voice and claim our space. We have a lot of negative messages from the very day we are born about sexuality, gender, relationships which repress and hold us back. We often have to start by recognizing what these messages are before we start undoing these messages. Then we have to relearn what is true about our own human nature and sexuality. We must not only breakdown the old stories, we have to untangle the shame and guilt associated with the undoing and somehow emerge with a new light. I love to encourage and remind people that their truth is valid and then come to the understanding that it is okay to live and speak from that truth while navigating the normative society at large which often times will not support us.

WikiExpert: I see that you have authored 3 books, which is great! Congratulations! Can you tell us a little about these books? And your experience as an author of these?

Moushumi Ghose: Thank you! I self-published the first two books which are about embracing our truth, being okay with who we are, and being okay being alone,  both in relationships and as independent people, respectively. 

WikiExpert: We also see that you have appeared on many TV shows such as Investigation Discovery, Hollywood Today, and more! Please enlighten us on these shows? And the role you played in these shows/series?

Moushumi Ghose: Yes! I have! Many of the shows I have appeared on have asked me to come on because of my knowledge and experience with sexuality in general and also because of my expertise in the kink and non-monogamous communities.

WikiExpert: Can you tell us about your online therapy services/sessions and programs?

Moushumi Ghose: Yes, I offer several online coaching packages to fit your specific needs. I offer discounted packages for those willing to commit to a longer-term process, so as to make it more cost effective. I also offer coaching packages for coaching and licensed professionals looking to develop their business voice also. 

WikiExpert: I see that you have worked in social services for quite some time? Can you tell us a little about this? What were the most common cases that you have dealt with during this time? 

Moushumi Ghose: Yes, I have been working in social services for over 3 decades. I started out as a camp counselor for special ed teens in the 80s, and then in college as an undergraduate, I worked both as a special education teachers aide and then at a psychiatric hospital co-facilitating creative groups for patients on the locked ward. After graduation, I worked as a job coach with special ed adults in their work environments. Then I trained to be a counselor for individuals and families affected by HIV. Finally, when I entered grad school (a little later due to having a 6-year career change in tech! But, that's another story!!) I interned as a social worker and worked in community mental health for many years working with foster families and the child welfare system. 

WikiExpert: What would you say is the biggest problems that people come to you for help with? 

Moushumi Ghose: Something that I see a lot is lack of desire. This is generally not a problem unless someone else is involved and not satisfied. This is when people show up to try to get help! 

WikiExpert: When should a person or couple consult and book a session with a Sex Therapist? 

Moushumi Ghose: Today! We can all use a little support when it comes to our sexual, relational journeys. We all need connection, validation, and encouragement!

WikiExpert: What was the weirdest/fascinating thing you had seen during your time as a Sex Therapist? 

Moushumi Ghose: People assuming I can fix them. I don't have a magic wand to do any such thing. I can give suggestions, tools, lend an ear but at the end of the day, the work is up to the client! 

Now, let's get to know a little bit more about Mou, her successes and what she likes to do in her free time: 

WikiExpert: What is the most stressful part of your career and life? And how do you deal with such stress? 

Moushumi Ghose: Time management and work-life balance is by far are the most stressful. I think I have gotten a lot better at this, trying to find the balance in my life between having a life and working, but I do have to continuously be mindful of this. By showing up for myself first, I definitely show up for my clients.

WikiExpert: What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

Moushumi Ghose: In my free time I am a writer of music, films, poetry and more. Music is my life and when I'm not running my therapy business, that is most likely what I am working on. I also enjoy traveling, hiking, camping a lot too!

WikiExpert: In your opinion, what has been your biggest success to date?

Moushumi Ghose: I think I have had a lot of successes. I have led many lives! I have been in many musical projects and released music, performed. I've built a successful psychotherapy practice. I've authored 3 books, gotten a book publishing deal, and my work has been published in some big name publications  I've hosted a youtube channel and created lots of educational media and most recently a huge success for me was to complete a documentary film series about sexuality in the US titled, Temples and Brothels, available on Vimeo. I also think we should acknowledge our daily successes too! Getting up in the morning can be a huge win for some! Let's acknowledge the small things. 

WikiExpert: What are your short and long-term goals both professionally and personally? 

Moushumi Ghose: I'm currently shifting my business model to become more of a group practice where I oversee and supervise up and coming psychotherapists to do more sex-positive work not just in the office but in the public eye for social change also. My goal is to pass on the knowledge I have gained from building public visibility and a private practice onto the next generations. Essentially, I am passing on the torch!!

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