Feb 23, 2023 in Life Coaching

The Ultimate Guide to Conquering Bedtime Struggles with Kids

Put a stop to bedtime problems with your kids!

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There are positive parenting solutions you can use to help conquer bedtime struggles and make the evening routine a little smoother.

It's no secret that bedtime can be a struggle for both kids and parents. Whether it's fighting over homework or trying to wind down after a long day, getting kids to bed can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. But it doesn't have to be that way!

Identifying Common Causes of Bedtime Struggles

If you're like most parents, you've probably experienced your fair share of bedtime struggles with your kids. Whether it's getting them to sleep or just getting them to settle down and relax, bedtime can be a trying time for families. It's important to identify the common causes of bedtime struggles in order to develop a plan of attack for ending the evening wars.

Here are some of the most common causes of bedtime struggles:

1. Sleep Regression:

This is when a child temporarily regresses in their sleep pattern. It can happen at any age and for any number of reasons, but it often coincides with changes in a child's life (like starting school or a new routine). Sleep regression can manifest itself as a refusal to go to sleep, waking up frequently during the night, or waking up very early in the morning.

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2. Anxiety:

Anxiety can manifest itself in many different ways, but one of the most common ways is through difficulties sleeping. If your child is experiencing anxiety, it can make it difficult for them to fall asleep or stay asleep throughout the night.

3. Trauma:

Any type of trauma (whether physical, emotional, or psychological) can have an impact on sleep patterns. If your child has experienced trauma, it's important to seek out professional help from a Therapist or Psychologist who specializes in working with children and families.

4. Medical Condition:

If your child has a medical condition that is interfering with their sleep, this could be causing bedtime struggles as well. Conditions like sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome can both cause problems falling asleep and staying asleep throughout the night. If you suspect that your child may have a medical condition interfering with their sleep, it's important to consult with your pediatrician or a specialist who specializes in diagnosing and treating childhood sleep disorders. Ending the evening wars doesn't have to be impossible!

By identifying the common causes of bedtime struggles, you can better strategize how to overcome them and create a more peaceful nighttime routine for everyone involved.

Strategies for Reducing Stress and Anxiety at Bedtime


It's no secret that bedtime can be a struggle for both kids and parents. Between the homework, the baths, the teeth brushing, and the endless questions, it's easy to get frazzled at the end of the day. And when you're stressed, your kids are likely to pick up on that and become stressed as well. So how can you avoid the bedtime wars and make the transition to dreamland a little smoother for everyone?

Here are a few tips:

1. Start with a Routine:

Having a set bedtime routine will help both you and your child know what to expect and when to expect it. This can help reduce stress and anxiety around bedtime.

2. Keep Things Calm:

Try to avoid any activities that will get your child worked up before bedtime. This means no more screen time, no more roughhousing, and no more stimulating conversation. Instead, opt for calm activities like reading or listening to quiet music.

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3. Make Sure They're Sleepy:

If your child is overtired, they're going to have a harder time falling asleep. So make sure they're getting enough rest during the day and that they're not skipping naps (if they're still young enough for naps).

4. Don't Forget about Wind-Down Time:

Wind-down time is just as important as bedtime itself. This is the time when you can help your child transition from being awake to being asleep. During the wind-down time, you might want to read together, take some deep breaths together, or just talk about your day.

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5. Be Patient:

Even with all of these tips, there will still be nights when bedtime is a struggle. Just remember to be patient and keep trying. Eventually, you'll find a routine that works for both you and your child!

Effective Scheduling and Routines for a Smooth Bedtime

It's no secret that bedtime can be a struggle for parents and kids alike. But it doesn't have to be that way! By following some simple tips and creating a consistent routine, you can help your child (and yourself) wind down at the end of the day and get a good night's sleep.

Here are some tips to help you end the evening wars:

1. Create a Consistent Routine:

One of the most important things you can do to help your child (and yourself) at bedtime is to create a consistent routine. This means having the same activities in the same order every night leading up to sleep. This could include taking a bath, reading a story, saying prayers, and brushing teeth. By establishing a routine, your child will know what to expect and will be better prepared for bedtime.

2. Start Early:

Don't wait until your child is exhausted before starting the bedtime routine. If you start too late, they may be too wired up to settle down. Aim to start the routine 30-60 minutes before actual bedtime so they have time to unwind before sleep.

3. Make Sure They're Really Tired:

If your child is having trouble sleeping, it may be because they're not actually tired enough. Make sure they're getting enough physical activity during the day so they're ready to sleep when bedtime comes around.

4. Keep it Calm:

Bedtime should be a calm and relaxing time for both you and your child. Avoid anything that might excite or agitate them, such as watching television or playing loud games. Instead, focus on quiet activities that will help them wind down, such as reading or chatting about their day.

5. Stick to the Plan:

Once you've established a bedtime routine, it's important to stick to it as much as possible. This means no exceptions for special occasions or weekends. Of course, there will be times when the routine has to be altered, but try to keep changes to a minimum so your child knows what to expect and can feel comfortable at bedtime.

Setting Clear Expectations with Rewards and Consequences

When it comes to conquering bedtime struggles with your kids, setting clear expectations is key. Try to think of the bedtime routine as a negotiation. Let your children know what is expected of them and establish rewards and consequences for the meeting (or not meeting) these expectations.

For example, one idea is to give your child a choice between two options which both lead to the same end result – being in bed at a reasonable hour. For instance, you could give them the option of either reading a book or taking a bath first before bedtime. This way, they don’t feel like their choices are being taken away from them and they are more likely to cooperate. Be firm but also be kind when discussing rewards and consequences with your children.

Praise them when they do well and explain why certain behaviors are not acceptable. Providing explanations helps children understand why they should abide by the rules instead of just telling them “no” or “because I said so”. It also can help build trust between parent and child which is essential for establishing a healthy relationship in the long run.

At the end of the day, ending evening battles with your kids doesn’t have to be painful or cause stress for anyone involved. By setting clear expectations and providing rewards and consequences accordingly, you can create an environment where everyone can get their much-needed sleep and rest peacefully.

Working with Other Family Members to Support Consistent Bedtime Habits

If you're struggling to get your kids to bed at a reasonable hour, you're not alone. According to a recent survey, nearly half of all parents report that their biggest daily parenting challenge is getting their kids to bed on time. The good news is that there are things you can do to ease the bedtime battle.

One of the most important things you can do is to work with other family members to create a consistent bedtime routine. When everyone is on the same page, it's much easier to stick to a schedule and avoid bedtime arguments.

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Here are some tips for working with other family members to support consistent bedtime habits:

1. Have a Family Meeting:

Discuss why having a regular bedtime is important and come up with a plan for how everyone can help make it happen.

2. Delegate Tasks:

Assign each person in the family a specific task associated with getting ready for bed, such as reading a story or brushing teeth.

3. Set Limits:

Make sure everyone understands what time lights need to be out and bedrooms need to be quiet. Once the limit is reached, enforce it consistently without exception.

4. Be Flexible:

There will be nights when things don't go as planned. Rather than getting frustrated, try to go with the flow and remain calm. If necessary, adjust the bedtime routine accordingly and try again tomorrow night."


Ultimately, if you are still struggling with getting your child to bed on time without a fight, it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you navigate through this situation. You can consult an Online Parent Coach, Counselor, or Therapist for advice. Feel free to ask a question in our “Discuss with Experts” to get support you can trust and connect with other parents.

Seek out professional advice and support from a doctor or healthcare practitioner if you feel that the situation is more complicated than just needing to establish a routine. With the right knowledge and support, you can make bedtime easier for both you and your child.

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