Jun 14, 2021 in Life Coaching

Intimacy Advice for New Parents

Keep the spark alive after the birth of your child.

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Sex and intimacy take a backseat for couples who just had a child. Here, we give advice for new parents who want to rekindle their romance.

We also share articles written by registered professionals on WikiExpert, that others, just like you, found helpful.

Relationships change after a baby. You'll find that it's a time of joy and happiness. However, being a new parent also brings about a different set of challenges. 

For the mothers who have just given birth, it might feel as though you'll never be able to have sex again. With your body healing, the sleepless nights and hormonal changes, things will be different. On the other hand, some mothers feel sensual whilst breastfeeding. The release of oxytocin is responsible for this. 

Whatever the case might be, you and your partner can bring intimacy back into your relationship after a child. 

WikiExpert suggestion

One of the most common reasons for a sexless marriage is pregnancy and childbirth. Read this article to learn more. 

When can you have sex after childbirth?

There is no simple answer to this. Each and every individual is different. Most healthcare providers recommend waiting between 4-6 weeks after childbirth. Another important factor to take into account is when you stop bleeding. 

Each mother heals at their own pace. If you've had complications or tearing, then you'll probably have to wait a little longer. The best thing to do is consult your doctor for advice on this. 

WikiExpert suggestion

In this article, Megan McCarthy, Online Life Coach gives advice on how parents can take care of themselves. 

Intimacy and sex advice for new parents

Take it slow

No need to rush! Both of you need to understand this. For the mothers, give your body time to heal. Some women might also experience pain the first time they do it after childbirth. If this continues, then you should consult your doctor. 

WikiExpert suggestion

Are you struggling to get your relationship back on track? Read this article for tips on how to do this by George Stack, Online Counselor and Life Coach. 

Communicate with each other

Couple talking to each other

Now, with a baby, you'll find that most of yours and your partner's time will be spent on your new bundle of joy, which is not a bad thing. However, it can take a toll on your relationship. Therefore, always communicate with your partner. This way you both won't feel neglected or rejected in any way. 

You should also discuss your intimacy with each other so that there are no misunderstandings. 

WikiExpert suggestion

See these 5 ways on how to improve communication with your partner. Read this article by Dharan Murali, Online Therapist. 

Learn how to communicate effectively in your relationship. Read this article by Elizabeth Smith, Online Life Coach. 

Rebuild the spark in your relationship

Couple having fun

For the mothers, your libido might have dropped drastically. However, there are things you can do to set the mood and keep the spark alive in your relationship so that it doesn't fall apart. Some physical interaction between you and your partner can help. 

Such as cuddling, kissing, holding hands. You can also display other acts of physical affection such as massages, touching each other, etc. 

Taking the small steps and displaying these little acts of affection will help with rebuilding your intimacy and sex life to what it once was before the arrival of your baby. 

WikiExpert suggestion

It's normal for your sex life to decline after having a child. Read this article by Tarryn Tomlinson, Online Life Coach for secrets to great sex. 

Delegate duties

Couple cooking

Usually, sex lives after a child decline due to partners being too tired. This is completely understandable and to prevent this, both of you need to split the responsibilities so that one party is not exhausted when it's time.

So, to do this, you can take turns to stay up with the baby during the nights, one partner does the cleaning, cooking, etc. Put a plan in place that suits both of you.

The reason for doing this is to create a balance. So that one partner isn't too tired when the time comes.

WikiExpert suggestion

Read this article that gives advice for new parents so that you can overcome parenting struggles and challenges. 


Being a new parent is undoubtedly challenging. If you and your partner are struggling to keep your relationship on track after your child's birth. 

You can read articles about relationships and parenting that professionals have written and see what others like you found helpful. You can also follow these topics so stay up-to-date on the latest. 

If you and your partner feel that you could benefit from professional help, you can book a session with an Online Relationship Coach or Marriage Counselor, or an Online Parenting Coach. 

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