Mar 1, 2021 in 

What does a sexless marriage feel like?

Learn about how it can destroy a relationship or marriage.

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Are you in a sexless marriage? Get relationship tips in this article. 

Sexless marriages are more common than you think. In some marriages, life has become so busy and stressful that leads to less sex. This can potentially damage a relationship and lead to other issues such as infidelity, boredom and anger issues. 

Even though the foundations of marriages and relationships are not built on intimacy and sex, it still plays an important factor in being in a happy marriage or relationship. 

The good news is that you and your spouse can work together to overcome this issue. Many couples end their relationship before even attempting to revive their sex lives. 

WikiExpert suggestion

Read this article about sex with your soulmate by Gail De Souza, Online Love Coach. 

When is a marriage considered sexless?

It's not unhealthy or abnormal not to have sex every day. A marriage is considered sexless when the couples only have sex 10 times or less per year. 

Some couples are perfectly fine with this. However, most take a toll on the relationship and often at times, one partner is left feeling unsatisfied. 

WikiExpert suggestion

Learn what the secret is to great sex. Read this article by Tarryn Tomlinson, Online Life Coach. 

Symptoms of a sexless marriage

  • Not feeling comfortable with discussing sex with your partner;
  • You or your partner spend all your time at work, with the kids, or anything else other than with each other;
  • No longer flirting with each other;
  • Both of you are more like roommates rather than partners. You just share a room or bed together but never get physical;
  • Apart from having sex, you display no other signs of affection such as hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. 

Sexless marriage rates and more

In 2018 a study was conducted on 660 married couples by the General Society's Survey and here's what they found:

Sexless marriage statistics

Common reasons for sexless marriages

Common reasons for sexless marriage

Stress

In today's times, nearly every individual is leading a stressful life. So, it's normal for sex and intimacy to take a backseat when you have a lot to deal with such as a stressful job, younger children, etc. 

Financial struggles

Money issues cause a great deal of stress which also leads to a lack of libido. Especially with the unemployment rates due to the COVID-19 pandemic, a lot of people are dealing with this issue. 

Pregnancy

During pregnancy, it's normal to not want to engage in sex and after childbirth, a woman cannot do it for at least 6-8 weeks. Many women also experience hormonal changes and tiredness. So, if this is the cause for your sexless marriage, don't despair. As things settle, you can start working on it. 

Communication issues

Do you and your partner struggle to communicate efficiently? This is another major problem when it comes to a sexless marriage. Constant arguments and conflict are bound to cause a lack of intimacy.

WikiExpert suggestion

Learn how to communicate effectively with your partner. No matter how difficult it might be. Read this article by Elizabeth Smith, Online Life Coach. 

Read this article, skills for resolving conflict in a relationship by Jennifer Lehr, Online Marriage Counselor. 

See how you can turn conflict into collaboration when you and your partner disagree. Read this article by John Donlon, Online Counselor. 

Infidelity and affairs

If you or your partner have not been faithful, then it will have a negative effect on your relationship. If this is the case, you'll need to work together to repair this so that you can revive your relationship. 

WikiExpert suggestion

Learn how to survive infidelity. Read this article by Jennifer Lehr, Online Marriage Counselor. 

Busy schedules

A lot of people have busy schedules. So, it's normal to feel too tired when going to bed. If this is the case, you need to take some time off to relax and unwind. This way, you can also dedicate some time to your spouse. 

Chronic health conditions

If you or your spouse is suffering from health conditions, it will lead to a lack of libido. Also, conditions such as erectile dysfunction and hormonal imbalances are causes of a sexless marriage. If this is the problem, then you should consider seeing your doctor. 

Mental health conditions

Factors such as trauma, depression, anxiety, etc are also responsible for a sexless marriage. Should this be the reason behind your sexless marriage, then professional help would be required for you or your partner. 

WikiExpert suggestion

See how self-confidence can impact intimacy. Read this article by Denell Henefiled, Online Life Coach. 

Mismatched libidos

This means either you or your partner has a higher sex drive than the other. This situation is tricky to solve and work through. Therefore, you both need to compromise, set boundaries and come to an agreement. 

Relationship tips for sexless marriages

If you're feeling frustrated and unsatisfied due to a lack of sex, you and your partner need to work together to resolve this problem. 

How to fix a sexless marriage

WikiExpert suggestion

There are four types of intimacy, according to Denell Henefield, Online Life Coach. Read her article to learn more about this. 

Discuss it with your partner

Before you can start working on the problem or even jump into bed with your partner, you need to discuss it. Start by addressing the issue and hearing your spouse's side of the story. This way you'll have direction on the best way to solve and move forward. 

Set up a date

Spend time with each other first before taking it further. Think about things you both used to do in the past. This way you can start off by enjoying one another's company and make memories together. If you have kids, try and get a friend or family member to babysit them for the day.

Schedule sex

You're probably thinking why should you make an appointment with your spouse for sex? However, at this stage, you need to break the ice. So, when both of your schedules are clear, then speak to your partner about setting aside a day or night for sex. 

Be adventurous

To bring the spark back in your relationship, you need to be creative and adventurous! Think of some new date ideas, ways to spice things up in the bedroom and make things fun. Light some candles, watch an erotic movie, for the ladies - wear lingerie. 

Make time for your partner

If you and your partner have busy schedules or your kids are taking up too much time, it's understandable to not have any time for yourselves. However, if you both want to make a change in your sex lives, then you need to start setting aside a little time for each other. 

Get professional help if needed

If all fails or you or your partner have serious physical or mental health conditions, it would be a good idea to seek the help of a professional. This way you'll have an Expert by your side working towards solving your problems and providing you with tips on how to spice up things in your marriage.  

On WikiExpert, you can read through articles that were written by Experts for advice and guidance. You can also book sessions with an Online Professional who can help you with solving a sexless marriage. 

WikiExpert suggestion

It is important to know what you want from your intimate partner first. Read this article, what do you want? By Rita Hurry, Online Life Coach.

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