Jun 2, 2021 in Life Coaching

How to Use the Law of Attraction to Save Your Relationship.

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Ann Verster has worked with thousands of Clients over the past 18 years. She is dedicated to helping people to reinvent their lives, fix their relationship problems and find happiness and peace. After undergoing a divorce, she experienced some struggles then moved onto making her life a success. Now, she wants others to lead happier lives.

Let's get to know more about Ann and how the Law of Attraction can save your relationship:

WikiExpert: Please define the law of attraction. What it is and how does it work? 

Ann Verster: The Law of Attraction is a Universal Law stating that Like attracts Like.

Seems simple enough, right?

In other words, the Law of Attraction states that we as humans act as magnets.

Whatever thoughts we focus on and whatever emotions we are cultivating, that is exactly what we are attracting in our lives.

That means that:

If you think: “I have so much debt” you are focusing on debt and you are including debt into your life.

If you say: “I shouldn’t be single anymore” you are focusing on being single and you are including that into your life.

If you feel: “I love my job” you are giving attention to feeling satisfied at work and the Universe will send you more of that.

The basics of the Law of Attraction are pretty simple. Like attracts like. Energy flows where attention goes.

" Change your thoughts and you change your world " - Norman Vincent Peale.

What’s important to know is that the Law of Attraction works all the time, no exception.

Have you ever noticed how when you wake up grumpy, the rest of the day things happen that make you even more grumpy?

That’s the Law of Attraction in action.

Have you ever noticed how when you’re having an amazing day, more amazing things happen?

Yep, that’s the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction works all the time, every time. It does not discriminate.

The Law of Attraction responds to the thoughts you think, the words you speak and the emotions you feel.

In other words, you are the creator of your own reality.

Whatever words you are using at this very moment, activate a vibration within you to which the Law of Attraction responds.

Knowing that without exception, that which you give thought to is that which you begin to invite into your experience, learning how to use the Law of Attraction is capital.

WikiExpert: How does the law of attraction work for saving a relationship? 

Ann Verster: We are taught to believe that in order to be happy; we must find somebody to complete us. This couldn’t be any further from the truth. It is negative and limiting beliefs such as these that lower your frequency and stand in the way of you manifesting the things that you want most, including love.

The end of a relationship can be a sad time, but don’t let this hold you back from the happiness that you deserve. Concentrate on you, your emotions and energies. Raise your frequency with positive thoughts, words, and actions. Do this and your love’s course should be set straight; this may mean that your current relationship can get back on track, or it may mean that your relationship must come to an end. Whatever the outcome, when you are living in alignment with your goals you can rest assured that the universe is directing you onto the best path for you.

It is completely possible to manifest your ‘dream’ relationship. But remember, this may or may not be with the person that you are with now.

WikiExpert: What is the foundation of a successful relationship? 

Ann Verster: Let’s face it unless you have a rock-solid foundation in your relationship with your significant other, you will inevitably be on shaky ground. For some, this isn’t exactly a revelation, but for others, it’s about fully grasping what a foundation really is.

To me, foundation means the building blocks to a fulfilling relationship and outcome. And just like a house with flimsy or severely cracked flooring, roofing or walls, it can’t stand upright or provide shelter if the foundation isn’t there in the first place.

So when it comes to relationships, it’s important to create a basis of understanding, trust, respect, compassion, empathy, vision, partnership, grace and forgiveness. Of course, this is something that is built over time, especially since relationships can be defined differently as they navigate their journey.

But the foundation needs to be the thing that holds the relationship together, as well as handle the ups and downs. It essentially comes down to having a shared belief in self-development and spiritual growth, plus realizing that you are both on the path to understanding why you are here on Earth.

WikiExpert: How do you help couples to be happier in their relationships?

Ann Verster: In my couple counseling sessions, I focus on the following areas which are in my opinion the key to a happy relationship:

  • Develop a realistic view of committed relationships;
  • Work on the relationship;
  • Spend time together;
  • Make room for “separateness”;
  • Make the most of your differences;
  • Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they 
  • Accept that some problems can’t be solved;
  • Communicate;
  • Honesty is essential;
  • Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.

WikiExpert: You published an interesting article, Making Space for Love to come into Your Life. You mentioned in this article that relationships are our greatest teachers. In your opinion, what are the biggest lessons that people learn from relationships?

Ann Verster: As painful as breakups can be, they always make for great learning experiences. For instance, if your ex cheated and you decided to give them a chance and they did it again, you may learn that cheating is something you will never tolerate. The lessons you learn from failed relationships can range from small to completely life-changing.

"It’s always possible to learn something from a past relationship, even if it’s just, 'I never want to experience that again". Every relationship we’re in moves us closer to the one we want if we’re willing to do some reflection."

Self-reflection after a painful breakup isn't always easy. A failed relationship will force you to look at the deepest parts of yourself to identify inner weaknesses. As difficult as that will be, it will help you find the strength to move forward on much better things.

"Failed relationships don’t just teach you what you don’t want, they show you that you are capable of so much more. "They are a direct reflection of your potential to have more, have better [connections], and to feel fulfilled in ways you never thought possible."

When you've done enough reflecting, you're better able to enter into a new relationship that's both fulfilling and healthy.

WikiExpert: How can people let go of their past relationships and be happy in their current ones? 

Ann Verster: The deepest wounds often come from childhood. They can affect the way people see the world, themselves and their relationships. They can shape the expectations people have of themselves and others, and what they think they deserve. They can also affect people on a physiological level – the way they hold themselves physically, the way they move, their nervous system, and their brain. But none of this has to be permanent.

Of course, not all wounds come from childhood. Few of us reach adulthood without having had our hearts broken, our ideas about love questioned and our spirits bruised. It’s how we deal with this that will determine the power our history has to keep hurting us. In fact, by providing an opportunity for self-reflection, learning and experimentation, past hurts can be the gateway to stronger relationships – but this does take effort, a willingness to explore and the courage to experiment with a different way of being. Read more about how to let go of past relationship issues. 

WikiExpert: You also published another interesting article that was enjoyed by many readers, How to Manifest Your Soulmate. How would someone know they found their soulmate? 

Ann Verster: A soulmate isn’t always wrapped in the perfect package, physically or in terms of life circumstances, nor does it mean that the relationship will come without challenges. That being said, below are my top 9 signs that you have met your soulmate.

  1. Being around this person gives you a sense of peace and comfort, even very early in the relationship;
  2. You may be very different but you balance each other out;
  3. You get this palpable gut feeling that you’ve met your match;
  4. Your values are in total alignment;
  5. You’ve seen this person at their worst and love them anyway;
  6. You care so deeply about each other that, at times, you actually feel each other’s pain;
  7. You feel a kind of electricity when you touch;
  8. Your relationship may be rocky at times but the rough patches help you grow;
  9. You feel like you can let your guard down and be 100 percent yourself when you’re with this person.

WikiExpert: For couples who are heading toward divorce, how would you help them to resolve their issues?

Ann Verster: It takes effort to protect, nurture, and grow a marriage. Between work schedules, children, and other obligations, sometimes it can seem impossible to maintain that partnership.

Toying with the idea that you might be better off outside of your marriage can put a major strain on your relationship, even if you never voice those thoughts. In fact, the thought alone might cause a major break in your motivation to try to improve your marriage.

To combat the risk to your relationship, decide ahead of time that divorce is not an option. Making the commitment will help you focus on making your partnership stronger rather than thinking about what life might be like outside your marriage.

Honor and respect your partner.

 People inevitably change over time. Understanding, appreciating, and adapting to those changes is critical for any relationship. Start by making a list of your partner's best qualities to remind yourself of the wonderful person you married. This exercise will help you remember why you fell in love with them in the first place.

It also helps to vocalize how much you appreciate your partner's quirks and eccentricities.

Let your partner know every day, through compliments or thank-you, that you appreciate all that they do.

These little expressions are like deposits in the bank. You don't want to make withdrawals from your marriage without ever making any deposits. So, be sure you are doing things that honor your partner for who he or she is.

Communicate regularly.

Communicating openly about your life, interests, dreams, frustrations, and feelings is an important way to foster intimacy in a relationship.

It's also crucial that you also listen to your partner voice their thoughts. It can be helpful to set aside 30 minutes each day, free from interruptions or distractions—where you can talk.

Share financial expectations.

Many marriages are fraught with disagreements over finances. Couples often bring different expectations about money to a relationship. Each partner can find it difficult to see the financial situation from the other person's perspective.

Coming to an agreement about how your money will be handled is a critical component of a successful marriage. Agree on a budget, an approach to debt, and make a plan to live within your limits.

It's also important to differentiate between needs and wants. While both are legitimate, couples can face problems if they try to fulfill all their wants without considering their budget.

Incorporate some flexibility in your budget to allow for entertainment, gifts, vacations, and other activities that will strengthen your marriage.

Give each other space.

One of the hardest things to balance in a marriage is the right amount of time to spend together. Too much can feel like smothering while too little can be interpreted as inattentive.

When your partner needs space or a night out with friends, offer to watch the kids or run errands to ensure they can get that time. On the other hand, you also want to make time to spend with your partner. If babysitting issues or financial constraints make that difficult, plan a fun, cost-effective date night at home.

The key is that you both make a concerted effort to spend quality time together while also allowing each other the space to have an outside community.

Work on wellness.

It's easy to get into a routine of being overly casual, especially if you've been with your partner for many years. An easy way to rekindle romance is to think back to those early days of dating, preparing for date night with an at-home manicure, getting a fresh shave and haircut, or choosing a fun outfit.

There are plenty of ways to feel attractive and energized. Keeping up with your physical fitness boosts your confidence and sense of well-being. It can also double as a way to spend time with your partner— whether you're trying a new workout class, training for a 5K, or prepping healthy meals together.

Have date nights.

Another way to keep the flame burning in a marriage is to continue courting your spouse.8? Try to make time for a date night every week—even if it's just to get ice cream or cook a new recipe together. If money is a concern, consider trading babysitting with another couple looking to have a date night. You can also just put the baby in a stroller and take a walk around the mall or go to the park.

Continue doing the things you did when you were dating. Many couples report that small, thoughtful gestures help them feel like newlyweds. Try leaving your partner little love notes where they will find them, make them coffee in the morning, or buy their favorite snack at the grocery store.

Forgive quickly.

Marriages often begin to fall apart when one person is holding a grudge. Research has shown that feeling contempt toward your partner almost always festers and can lead to divorce if it's never resolved.

Try to forgive your partner as quickly as possible. Remember that forgiveness is just as much a gift you give yourself. Holding a grudge takes up mental and emotional space and almost always impacts your health and stress levels, opt for a forgiving spirit and you will reap the positive benefits, be it better sleep or stress relief.

If you have wronged your partner, sincerely apologize and ask for their forgiveness. Really listen to what they have to say and try to understand why they are upset. Let them know you will work on how to do things differently in the future.

Don't try to control your partner.

In healthy marriages, both partners have mutual respect for one another and don't demand their own way. This can mean different things to different couples, but here are some core tenants to keep in mind:

  • Don't try to monitor or control each other;
  • Give your partner room to be the person they are;
  • Learn to collaborate on big decisions (such as spending money and raising children);
  • Let your spouse have the freedom to come and go without having to ask your permission.

WikiExpert: If a couple is faced with financial issues, how can they solve them?

Ann Verster: Given the opportunity, everyone would love to accumulate more wealth, make more money, and live an abundant life. However, many people have a poor relationship with money. They have trouble manifesting money and wealth into their lives, and as a result, never achieve the financial success they desire.

The truth is that financial success starts in the mind and the number one thing holding many people back is their belief system concerning wealth and money.

With that in mind, leveraging the Law of Attraction is one of the most effective ways to change your beliefs about money into a belief system that will open you up to the prosperity that is all around you.

If a Client wants to learn about the Law of Attraction, I highly recommend the 55 x 5-day Manifesting practice. 

My second approach: I encourage couples to start a conversation as nonjudgmentally as possible, by asking something like: “I’m not sure how this happened. Can you help me understand how this debt came about, and can we together come up with some possible solutions?” You want to make sure your partner feels supported and encouraged to talk.

Explore what kinds of purchases got your partner into debt. By working together to understand why this happened, the couple will also learn that sharing a burden, like debt, is better than hiding one.

Setting up a regular review of both of your expenses and financial goals to make it easier to be open about money and managing it together. “Many times, this act of hiding debt is learned behavior, so starting a new habit of sharing important information is key to overcoming this problem.

WikiExpert: What does your typical online session look like? How do you work with your Clients online?

Ann Verster: I started Online Coaching a couple of years ago as a way of reaching out to even more people. It's my mission to help people, get from where they are to where they long to be I'm all about digging deep to discover what your soul truly desires, and then, doing the work to help you make it a reality. My coaching programs are based on the belief that when you are clear about what you want, and you use your intuition to take soul-inspired action your dreams can quickly materialize. When you combine this with transformative "inner work" you can create a life filled with: Abundance. Success. Love. Joy & Meaning.

Now, let's get to know more about Ann:

WikiExpert: What was the biggest lesson you learned from your own life and struggles?

Ann Verster: I see “struggles” as an opportunity to go back, correct what I did wrong, learn from it, improve, and strive to do my best. I do not judge myself or others. I accept that I have made many mistakes and I forgive myself for it.

WikiExpert: When you're not helping others and running your businesses. Where can we find you? What do you enjoy doing in your free time? 

Ann Verster: A few years ago, I bought my 1st Jeep. I am part of the Jeep Club and actively participate by going on 4 x4 trails. Being out in nature, grounding myself, spending quality time with friends and family, is what matters to me most.

WikiExpert: If there was anything you could change about your life, what would it be?

Ann Verster: I would not change anything. Who I am today is because of what happened in my past. My mistakes and failures contributed to my learning experiences and success.

WikiExpert: In your opinion, what has been your biggest success to date?

Ann Verster: Helping people to discover what their true-life purpose is. I am extremely passionate about helping people to empower themselves in business to follow their creative spirit and ignite their entrepreneurial sparkle. Nothing excites me more than seeing my Clients achieve phenomenal success in life.

Ready to save your relationship and change your life for the better? Message Ann Verster for free today to book a session.

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