Sep 9, 2020 in Life Coaching
"Never be a prisoner of your past, as it was just a life lesson, not a life sentence."
Move forward and take a step toward success.
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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Vitin Landivar is an Online Life Coach. His goal is to help as many people as possible through his articles and online sessions. He is the founder of Habits of Success and a charity foundation for children. Vitin is dedicated to helping his Clients to achieve their goals. He offers motivational and personal development coaching. Vitin's personal goal is to “leave the world a bit better.” He has made this his life's philosophy. Let's get to know more about Vitin:
WikiExpert: What inspired you to become a Life Coach?
Vitin Landivar: My mother was a great teacher, and I guess it is in my genes. I have never been a “Teacher,” but I love to help others, especially young people. When I look back at my life, I realized that I have always been mentoring and coaching and wanting to help others, my friends, my relatives, and the people I meet in my everyday life.
I guess, finally, I felt it was time to make it “official.”
WikiExpert: What is the most challenging part of your career?
Vitin Landivar: It seems like suddenly everyone is a Coach! A few years ago, Psychologists were the norm, and now everyone wants to be a Coach.
I see it in two opposite ways: 1- Yes, I believe that any of us could coach someone that is going through some bad experience that we have also gone through, learned to solved it, succeeded and now we can turn that mess into a message and help people going through what you went through.
Or you may possess 20 years of experience in something, and you are good at it, you have the results to prove it, and you can coach someone in the same field to go faster by learning from you and saving years of trial and error by learning from your experience. It is called the “Knowledge Industry” that is worth billions now.
What I am against is people who don’t have something of value to offer, and are mainly motivated by finding a way to make money. With a Diploma, that you can buy for 100 USD.
So to answer your question, I guess the real challenge for any sincere and capable Coach is to compete with the hundreds or thousands of others, that may look great in FB ads, but that could be lacking true love and concern for their Clients.
WikiExpert: When it comes to accomplishing goals, what is the biggest mistake that you see people make?
Vitin Landivar: People rely a lot on the strategies and the formulas, thinking that that is enough to accomplish a goal. But I always ask: What good is a formula or strategy, if it does not get implemented? What stops people from performing and implementing their goals?
Usually, a weak mindset and poor mental state, and it is made manifest in procrastination, and laziness. I believe, first, you need to help people to develop self-discipline, then strengthen their mindset so that they are better equipped to tackle their goals. Knowledge is not power, and the real power is always in the execution of the idea.
WikiExpert: How do you help your Clients to develop a winning and successful mindset?
Vitin Landivar: First, I need to talk and hear the Client out and see what their weak areas are and what they need. We are all different, and every Client is different, as well. For some people, maybe be first developing self-discipline. For others, we may have to start with their self-limiting beliefs. Others may struggle with worry and fear, while others do not have the motivation and need to know the “why” they need a change in their lives.
WikiExpert: To those who feel like constant failures, how would you advise them?
Vitin Landivar: Feelings of inadequacy and failure, limiting beliefs are deep-rooted and originate by the way people are raised, backgrounds, cultures, and a host of other influences and triggers. So it is essential to recognize this and tackle this fear, phobias, and limiting beliefs one by one.
So there is no one remedy, cure-all approach- Again, people are different, and each individual is unique. At the same time, there some basic methods to help the individual overcome these feelings of worthlessness. One basic idea to keep in mind is that” “your past does not equal your future.” In other words, never be a prisoner of your past, as it was just a life lesson, not a life sentence.
WikiExpert: What are the most common bad habits that prevent people from achieving their goals and finding happiness?
Vitin Landivar: Again, I keep repeating; we are all unique individuals and face different types of obstacles. But if you want to generalize, I could probably mention: Lack of clarity and lying to yourself about the reality of your situation: laziness and procrastination, being indecisive and afraid to try, making decisions based on fear and not courage. A weak mental state. An undisciplined mind. Time wasters and the desire for instant gratification.
WikiExpert: You offer success coaching sessions. Please tell us what a typical session look like and what you cover in these?
Vitin Landivar: The first session is free, and it is time to get to know each other and see if we are a good match. For me, the most critical aspect is the commitment of the Client. If he or she is committed to doing whatever it takes to make progress, I will take the Client. If not, I won’t take the Client, as then it will be a waste of my time and the Clients money. I only accept Clients that are serious about the process as I am.
After this is determined, I will have to hear from the Client about the outcome he desires out of our sessions. Once the outcome is established, then we can proceed to map out the plan of action to obtain that desired result.
WikiExpert: Name a few healthy habits of successful people?
Vitin Landivar: A morning ritual- exercise- reading and learning- setting goals- execution of those goals- excellent human relations- hunger for success.
WikiExpert: You published an interesting article on WikiExpert, which was enjoyed by many readers. Are you trapped in a comparing game? In your opinion, when we compare ourselves to others, how can we use this to our advantage and make it a positive thing?
Vitin Landivar: ‘You can play the “Comparing Game” as proof of concept- that if other people have done it, you can do it too.” In other words, you compare positively by challenging yourself to achieve what others have achieved.
But even more important is to compare yourself today against who you were yesterday and always try to improve and progress in any area of your life that you are working on. And after all, is said and done, to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else is the greatest accomplishment. As told by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
WikiExpert: How can we control negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, stress, and hatred?
Vitin Landivar: Sometimes I wonder, why has nobody taught us in school how to control our feelings? Love and hate are two of the most powerful human emotions. They are invisible forces, but they influence every decision that we make.
The good news is that you can choose how you direct your emotions, and by doing so, you can change the quality of your existence on this earth. Positive emotions can enhance your life to the point that you can only dream of.
In essence, to have a great life, you need to learn to master those incredible forces of human emotion. And you need to understand that the meaning you give to things is essential. Now, if you have done gardening, you know that weeds grow automatically, you don’t have to plant them. Negative emotions are the same, they are always there growing, and you have to pull them out; otherwise, they will ruin the garden of your life.
WikiExpert: You also wrote about how self-confidence is your best bet to grow. Please explain how people can build confidence?
Vitin Landivar: It will be challenging to explain it briefly. In coaching, for some people, this topic will be the main area to conquer as a lack of self-confidence is very harmful to your success.
We all have our doubts. Confidence is seldom something you have, but rather something that you must create. An essential part of your growth as a human being is learning to develop that feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.
As a result, you learn to take the persistent action that is required for the attainment of your goals. You grow in determination, as you think of the person that you intend to become. And you never stop trying until you have developed sufficient courage to become self-reliant on your path to success.
WikiExpert: How do you help Clients with overcoming their fears in life? What steps should they take?
Vitin Landivar: Again, this subject of fear cannot be explained so briefly. Fear is the greatest enemy of success. There is the fear of sickness, fear of rejection, fear of criticism, fear of losing the one you love, fear of poverty, fear of death, and the list goes on.
One of the first things to do is recognize the type of fears that plague you individually and make a clear distinction of what could be considered real concerns the ones that are good for you and keep you safe from danger. And which ones are just the product of your imagination and are abnormal and shouldn’t be allowed in your life.
One of the best ways to win over fear is to face it and do exactly the things you are afraid of. Fear exaggerate things and renders you useless if you give in to it. So you have not a choice really, except to conquer it. And it is not too tricky, as Seneca said, that most fears are not real and live only in your imagination.
Now, let’s get to know more about Vitin:
WikiExpert: When you’re not helping others, where can we find you? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
Vitin Landivar: All my projects are involved in helping others. For the last 23 years, I have run a Charity organization in the country where I live, and we help poor, invalid, and orphan kids.
My business ins an educational and summer rest program for children that serves the kids and families of my community by offering excellent services and programs.
WikiExpert: In one of your articles, you mentioned that you moved to a new country. Where are you from, and where did you move to?
Vitin Landivar: I am originally from Peru, 23 years ago, I married a Russian girl and moved to Russia Far East, where I live and work.
WikiExpert: What was the biggest lesson you learned from life?
Vitin Landivar: Faith allows you to believe that all things are possible if you believe and develop a mindset of certainty.
That Hope helps you to never doubt that there is a better future for you if you just believe and take the right steps.
And to always remember there is no greater force in the world than the power of love.
There is Faith, Hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.
WikiExpert: In your opinion, what has been your most significant success to date?
- My two main projects have lasted 23 years so far;
- I have a great and happy family, an amazing wife, and two wonderful daughters that are succeeding in their lives;
- I have traveled to 64 countries and more are yet to come.
Are you ready to move forward, achieve your goals and be successful? Message Vitin Landivar for free today to book a session.