Aug 26, 2020 in Life Coaching
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How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri is an Online Life Coach that offers a problem-solving approach. She worked in the medical field as a clinician and also as a clinical investigator for 15 years. Dr. Shakeri has a passion and deep interest in helping Clients to find and develop the best versions of themselves. She approaches problems layer by layer and focuses on solutions to them through her techniques. Let's get to know more about Dr. Shakeri:
WikiExpert: You worked in the medical field and then became a Life Coach. What inspired you to do this?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: I thought being a Physician and also a Life Coach would be a good combination. Since they would both give me a profound insight into issues. For instance, when a person has a hard time controlling their anger, they could have some problems with getting enough sleep or with their digestive system. This is because our emotions have a direct impact on our body’s physiology. Because of my medical experience and being a Life Coach, I am able to guide people in both physical and emotional ways.
I started my journey as a Life Coach when I was in medical school. I found that I needed to add some meaning to my life. Being a perfectionist is somehow challenging and a byproduct of that is self-sabotaging behavior. So, I decided to attend many different programs and started reading inspirational books to figure out how I could improve my lifestyle to live my life to the fullest.
WikiExpert: One of your main areas of expertise is in helping people to become the best version of themselves. How do you do this? What is your number one approach?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: To create a good balance between one’s work and life. In order to achieve this, we first need to know ourselves deeply. To get to know ourselves, we need to access the subconscious mind which is programmed in our childhood and we act through it from that time. In addition to this, we have some parts of our identity which are formed by others’ expectations or wrong beliefs.
So, the main part of my work is finding the current pattern of my Clients and guiding them to see that pattern consciously. When you are aware of your current mindset then you are able to predict your behavior and see what is really happening in your day to day life. After this, changing the old patterns to the new one becomes easier.
WikiExpert: How is it beneficial for people to "become the best version" of themselves?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: Becoming the best version of yourself means that you know who you are and exactly what you want. Based on your desires you are able to make a map for yourself, then by following your map every single day you achieve your desires at a fast pace, with ease and it becomes enjoyable.
WikiExpert: What factors prevent people from becoming the best versions of themselves?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: The first one is confusion. In short, we are confused about what we want. The next one is simply getting distracted. The best solution for both of these issues is having a good supportive model. I provide supportive services in my program. In one’s life, we face very different levels of work we need to do.
For some of these levels, we are good at getting the work done. But for some of the other work, we definitely need some extra motivation or forces otherwise we ending up postponing them. By having a good support service, you will do your task fully and continuously. Therefore, you will get reach your goals at a faster pace and this is one of the best motivations for you to be proud of yourself and for creating other goals you would like to achieve.
WikiExpert: In your opinion and experience, what are the common factors that cause anxiety?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: Fear of failure. People are overthinking the process of achieving their goals and this makes it so difficult and unbearable. Because of this scarcity, the person is failing ahead of time.
WikiExpert: How do you help people who are suffering from anxiety?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: The practical way is to confront them with the worst-case scenario of the matter they are worried about. I spend enough time sitting with them in order to fully experience being in their terrible situations and to feel the way they do. So, when they feel what would be the worst-case scenario and release this fear, then they are ready to move on and make the best-case scenario deliberately.
WikiExpert: During these unprecedented times, how can we prevent ourselves from feeling anxious and fearful?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: This is a really good question. With this critical situation we are dealing with, we need to find a practical way to take back our control over our life. Our issues could be financial or emotional or both. First, I suggest acknowledging your fear and anxiety, don’t suppress it. Write down all your fears on paper every day in the morning. Then ask some good questions like, what can I do to earn money, who can I approach, what can I do to decrease the risk of getting sick? How I can help others? Try to list your answers and seek more answers every day. By the end of the first week, you will feel so much better since you are trying to master those questions and find temporary solutions. Reassure yourself that there is always a solution, you just need to be eager and open to finding it. Try to follow the news to some extent to be updated about what you need to do and at the same time add some activities to boost your energy since following the news is energy-consuming.
The second thing I encourage people to do is doing exercise, even if it is some simple stretching or walking around the house. By doing exercise, we are producing amazing hormones in our body like dopamine and serotonin which enhance your mood, motivation and energy levels.
Thirdly, I encourage spending time in nature and getting fresh air. One can play with sands at the beach or do gardening. Nature has pure and vital energy which you can easily absorb without any focus. Think about a day after you have been at the beach, isn’t interesting how you feel refreshed after that.
In addition to this having some private time to pray or do meditation. Any activity that can connect you to a safe source and gives you the safety energy. One needs to feel and practice safety in any way that is available to them. Being grateful at all times for every single thing you have in your life like the free oxygen that you are breathing, clean water, your body temple, or your cozy room to name a few.
WikiExpert: You also help Clients with solving their problems layer by layer. Tell us about this?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: It is familiar to all of us that our mind is constantly talking. For those of us who have a dynamic life with many ups and downs, the monkey mind is louder and wilder and it seems it is not controllable at all. I help my Clients to declutter their minds and to make that monkey calm and quiet.
The only time you can focus on your goal is when you have a peaceful and supportive mind. By learning some techniques, you are able to control your mind and your distractions. One of the profound techniques I teach my Clients is the breathing technique which is amazingly effective even within the first couple of minutes.
WikiExpert: What is the number one mistake you see Clients make when it comes to problem-solving?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: They don’t believe in their power and abilities. Unfortunately, they are trapped by their wrong beliefs and patterns. When you master the given techniques then you are able to build any new pattern you want. Sometimes my Clients keep asking me questions about how I can help them and they have some doubts about the way that I am guiding them since they have tried many things which have not worked for them.
I always tell them, that it would be amazing if they could keep asking their minds only good questions and bring their minds to the discussion table to solve its problems layer by layer. Because of the way that the busy mind bombards them with a lot of questions, it is somehow the defense mechanism that keeps you busy and stops you from asking yourself the good questions. The fact is, all one’s problems are sitting in the back of your mind not anywhere else.
WikiExpert: You published an interesting article on WikiExpert which was enjoyed by many readers, How to have a meaningful life in day-to-day life. Please define a meaningful life and how can people achieve this?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: Even the purpose of life seems to vary from person to person. But I need to confess that there is only one purpose in our lives which is to be loved and to give love. But if you are a person who has difficulty with spreading love and accepting love, even being loved a little bit is not understandable for you in the beginning.
By practicing getting closer to your true essence and core identity, you are able to feel the purest love and compassion. You will then start to see beauty everywhere. By having this kind of mindset your energy level will always stay at a high level and even if it sometimes falls down you have multiple tools to bring it back to a high level again because practicing love is the best source of boosting one’s energy.
WikiExpert: Each and every person on the planet wants to lead a happy life, fulfilled with all their desires. How do you help your Clients to make this possible? What are the steps one should take to accomplish this?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: Initially, I am curious to know what my Client really wants. We first sit together to clarify what the person wants. Then the rest is easier. We make a beautiful vision of what they would like to achieve. I have plenty of support services that work well to help them to stick to their plan continuously until they achieve their goals.
The other thing that I like and encourage my Clients to keep doing it is trying to help others on their path. When we try to support and help each other, it is a good reminder for us to do the same thing for ourselves. It is a continuous practice. As a Life Coach, I do the same with my colleagues, we coach each other and we are still reading books and learning new skills as well.
Now, let’s get to know more about Dr. Shakeri:
WikiExpert: When you're not helping others, where can we find you? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: I enjoy doing activities like playing tennis, dancing, riding bikes and hiking. I am obsessed with doing meditation especially early in the morning at the beach. Music is a big part of my life and I enjoy playing the guitar and singing. I am planning on learning the piano as well.
WikiExpert: Do you have a role model? If so, who and why?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: Right now, I don’t have a particular role model but I started my journey about 20 years ago with Dr. Wayne Dyre’s books. That was mind-blowing for me and has changed my life drastically.
One of his books is “There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem” which is my favorite one and I read it over and over. I like “life visioning” by Michael Bernard Beckwith. In my opinion, he opens up the new chapter in human’s life for being the creator of your life. All other leaders that I recommend are Michael Singer, Byron Katie, Abraham Hicks, Neal Donald Walsch.
WikiExpert: If there was anything you could change about your own life, what would it be?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: As humans, sometimes we think that would have been good if we had the same knowledge and experience that we have right now, a couple of years ago. But if we look at it deeply, we see that getting to this level of awareness needs the same amount of time that has gone by. Therefore, reassure yourself that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Investing in your self-growth is something that it is essential and it will make you richer emotionally, financially and even beyond your expectation.
WikiExpert: What has been your biggest success to date?
Dr. Sepideh Shakeri: My biggest success has been feeling the best feeling in my heart which is being proud of myself. It means that regardless of what is happening around you, try to build your identity as much as you can and work on your core beliefs. By having strong beliefs, you are able to have your own back and never feel vulnerable or demanding. You will grow amazingly and all your decisions come from your strength not from the scarcity. No matter how people treat you, you will always be kind, respectful, generous and professional. All that matters is, being constantly connected to your precious identity and valuing your core beliefs.
Ready to become the best version of yourself? Message Dr. Sepideh Shakeri for free to book a session.