Jan 9, 2021 in Counseling

Why do we feel the way we do?

Our thoughts are formulated young from our experiences and they influence our emotions and behaviors

11 members found this to be effective.

It's your turn now! Let's support each other by clicking "Helpful".

How do I fix a marriage after cheating??

My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help

Answer 131 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

16 Nov

Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him

Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?

Answer 109 answers • 6 Experts joined

Huttslady

16 Nov

Help

We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?

Answer 108 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

16 Nov

Idk what to do

My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them

Answer 76 answers • 6 Experts joined

Ashleigh

16 Nov

Lost and confused at a crossroads

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling

Answer 78 answers • 4 Experts joined

Diya Singh

16 Nov

How can I get my teen to confide in me

I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this

Answer 149 answers • 14 Experts joined

Mommy22

16 Nov

What do I do?

I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.

Answer 119 answers • 6 Experts joined

John Hayward

16 Nov

I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.

He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?

Answer 113 answers • 4 Experts joined

Martha Diaz

16 Nov

Shared custody

It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?

Answer 70 answers • 5 Experts joined

Christie

16 Nov

What should I do?

My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD

Answer 69 answers • 3 Experts joined

We all feel things differently, and perceive our feelings in many ways. The more we have insight on who we are the higher our ability to understand how we feel. There are pathways in our brain that light up when we feel emotions. There has been research showing how that is different in psychopaths and sociopaths. How different parts of the brain do not light up when emotions are triggered, and mainly the lack of emotions that exist.

Our thoughts influence how we feel quite tremendously. Our thoughts are shaped in early childhood from our upbringing, and our experiences. All that formulates a worldview, opinions, and perspective. All that contributes to how we feel. So really, our feelings come straight from how we think, and in return influence our behaviours. Let us look at an example here: how two different thoughts can influence the way we feel and behave.

Person A – Received 70% on the exam. The initial thought is wow that is such a low mark, I did not do well. That thought can come from upbringing and high expectations from parents etc. that thought will trigger initially an emotional response of sadness or disappointment or failure. Which in return may trigger more negative thoughts and emotions, and further leads to potential negative behaviour.

Person B – Received 70% on the exam. The thought is Wow I passed the exam, and with more than just 50%. This will trigger happy and joyful emotions, which may then lead to more positivity and positive behaviour.

Everything in our being is interconnected, you cannot isolate parts of our self and brain and thoughts and analyze it alone. Everything is connected and works together. Our thoughts shape more than we realize and if we understand where they come from or why they are the way they are, then we can change our emotions and behaviors. This is a very simple way to break cycles that we do not want to continue.