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Mar 10, 2021 in 

What is FEAR costing you?

Fear is always going to be part of your life, it's there to show you what you need to overcome in order to be phenomenal!

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Nicola Farnhill

Life Coach

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Today I wanted to approach the subject of fear and how it can have so much control over our lives. I hope you love it and it inspires you to dig out those fears, embrace change and chase those dreams!


‘I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.’

? Nelson Mandela


Fear is often our biggest enemy.

What is holding you back from your dreams and hearts desires? 

What things are you fearful of that are getting in the way?

Are you waiting for the right time to act?

Have a better education?

Be slimmer, fitter?

More confident?

The reality of fear, is while ever you are living, you will have fears, the key is to keep moving through them. As human beings we need to grow, to develop, to progress and when we allow our fears to become bigger than us, we stop growing and our lives become smaller.

We fear more, we lose more.

When we embrace our fears and challenge them we develop strength and resilience, we are more able to face the next fear and our ability to believe in ourselves and what we can achieve grows, exponentially.

So what enables some people to face their faces and others to not?

I have noticed with my client group in particular, which are women that have detached from their authentic selves due to trauma or a series of traumatic events. That they suffer more from fear than others. After suffering neglect, abuse, rejection,or anything that contributes to trauma, fear takes a hold. And it really is no surprise

If we have suffered we become fearful of suffering more, we want to stay comfortable and safe, which really does not fall in line, with growing in life, achieving our dreams and desires and facing our fears.

So how do we break through fear?

I believe first of all we must identify our fears.

Ask yourself ‘What am I fearful of?’

Now dig a bit deeper, ask yourself 'What is your fear costing you?’

 Maybe it’s your dream business, home or lifestyle.Or maybe you want a relationship?

Now ask yourself’ How would I feel, if I still hadn’t faced my fears in 5 years time and was still where I am now?

‘How about in 10 years?’

And even 15 or 20 years?

When I did this practice I felt sick to my stomach with thought’s of never achieving my goals and dreams, of staying stuck.And I know that lots of my clients have felt exactly the same way, when I have asked them the same question.

Now I want you to write down what small step you can make each day towards facing your fears and moving towards your goals and take action. Just one small step every day will help you to shift out of fear and as you do, you will grow in confidence and this will help you keep the momentum.

As you read this I want you to always remember this as a truth, 'That there will always be something you are fearful of, but life doesn’t have to stop because of it. In fact life lives at the other side of it.'

So go and be fearless, and as you do you will reconnect with the innermost parts of you, you will free up your heart and with it your creativity. And it is that creativity that we need so much in order to realize our dreams.


I have accepted fear as part of life – specifically the fear of change... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back....”

? Erica Jong

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