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Nov 21, 2020 in 

Taking personal responsibility

The quality of our lives depends completely on us. What we seek we will find, what we focus on will become our reality.

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Nicola Farnhill

Life Coach

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We all need to be accountable for our actions, but it isn’t always easy. Especially when we have unresolved hurts and trauma. When we still have more healing to do, we can often get stuck in a place of only focusing on what we need, because the drive is so deep and also because we want to relieve ourselves from the uncomfortable feelings. The needs of others become hard to consider.

As human beings we just don’t like being uncomfortable, we like to feel ease and flow, but in order to get into this state we sometimes have to go through turbulent and challenging periods. In these times we learn a great deal about ourselves. We discover what parts of us we can carry forward and which parts we need to change and leave behind.

When becoming aware of the not so attractive parts and negative behaviours it can come as a bit of a shock. But the only way out is to make amends for wrong doings and move forward, do more healing and have a determination to become a better person.

When we have suffered trauma in our past it isn’t uncommon for us to become a victim, feel a great deal of self pity and lose our sense of gratitude for what we do have, instead of focusing on what we don’t have and why things don’t seem to be working out for us. When this happens, we need to realize that although we suffered trauma through no fault of our own, it is our responsibility for the healing that needs to take place, this again can be tough. But necessary if we want to have a better life and experience more happiness.

I read a short story recently that I would like to share with you. A story of someone who decided to take responsibility for his happiness and in the process, make others happy too.

Somewhere in America there is a toll bridge and it costs you 2 dollars to cross it. At the start of the bridge there are 10 booths manned by operators who take the customers money. They sit all day in a tiny square cubicle and just take the money and lift the barrier. The work is monotonous and unstimulating and most of the operators hate their job. However in booth 10, there is a guy named Seb. Every day Seb goes to work in his booth, he has funky music, a cheerful smile, a . hello for everyone and he even knows some of the customers by name. ‘How’s the kids, Pete?’ ‘Say Hi to Mr. Jones, Mrs. Jones, I hope he is well?’ Seb really makes the most of every day and even manages to dance sometimes in his tiny space.

If you try and cross the bridge out of rush hour you will see something quite spectacular. All the booths 1 to 9 are empty, but Seb’s booth, number 10 has a queue a mile long. You see people are willing to queue to pay their 2 dollars, just to see Seb, because Seb makes their day. It lifts their spirits, just to see him smile and say a cheery ‘Have a great day!’

The ode to this story is, Be more like Seb! Focus on what you have not what you don’t have. Try and create more happiness in your life and you will see it span out into the lives of others!

The road to healing is not always an easy one but if you take personal responsibility, it becomes easier!

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