Jun 5, 2022 in Life Coaching
Sex: The Six Month Rule
The path to a truly fulfilling relationship.
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At the age of 19 my father received a call from my girl friend's mother announcing that she was pregnant. Back then that could mean but one thing -- get your suit on, you're getting married.
Two days before the scheduled event to which a dozen relatives from distant lands had flown in to be in attendance, my father received another call, this one to announce that she wasn't pregnant after all. So what was I to do? Well, I'm guessing you know the answer to that one. Back then when you made your bed you were expected to sleep in it.
We stayed together for 23 years not because we were deeply in love but because we had subconsciously embraced the idea that we were obligated to abide by our families' traditions and expectations. As you might imagine, the embrace of those ideas disappeared shortly after my father died and the younger of our two daughters graduated from college.
A half year after our divorce, I decided to start dating again but this time I made a commitment to avoid making the same mistake I'd made as a teenager. It was then that I came to embrace the Six Month Rule: When I encountered a woman I was interested in developing a relationship with, early on I would share my story letting her know that sex was off the table for at least six months. I was looking for a soul mate, not a sex partner. As a side note, each in-turn would smile when I went on to point out that I didn't need a partner to experience an orgasm.
Over the ensuring two years I got to know several women, the last of which I've been with for a quarter of a century. The relationships I not only developed with her but her predecessors were not only enjoyable but extremely enlightening. What's more, I'd be hard pressed to think that those I did spend time getting to know didn't feel the same way. At least once in their lives they knew that they were something more than a sex object.
For me the the path to a fulfilling, long term relationship really revolves around a single question. Do you think that sexual intimacy is the key to to finding the love of your life? If you do, it might be a good idea to talk with a few of your separated and/or divorced acquaintances and ask them what they might have done differently. You might even go so far to ask if they think The Sixth Month Rule might help them avoid repeating the same mistake.