Nov 26, 2020 in Life Coaching

Dealing with Resentment

A simple strategy to remind us that resentment is not only emotionally draining but a total waste of valuable time.

12 members found this to be effective.

It's your turn now! Let's support each other by clicking "Helpful".

How do I fix a marriage after cheating??

My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help

Answer 117 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

2 Jun

Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him

Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?

Answer 95 answers • 6 Experts joined

Huttslady

2 Jun

Help

We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?

Answer 94 answers • 6 Experts joined

Caligirl

31 May

Idk what to do

My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them

Answer 67 answers • 6 Experts joined

Ashleigh

31 May

Lost and confused at a crossroads

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling

Answer 69 answers • 4 Experts joined

Diya Singh

2 Jun

How can I get my teen to confide in me

I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this

Answer 135 answers • 14 Experts joined

Mommy22

2 Jun

What do I do?

I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.

Answer 105 answers • 6 Experts joined

John Hayward

2 Jun

I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.

He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?

Answer 99 answers • 4 Experts joined

Martha Diaz

30 May

Shared custody

It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?

Answer 60 answers • 5 Experts joined

Christie

30 May

What should I do?

My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD

Answer 59 answers • 3 Experts joined

Most would agree that forgiving is better than getting even but, if you think about it, forgetting may be an even better idea especially if you take the words of Nelson Mandela to heart. “Resentment is like drinking poison in the hope it will kill your enemies.”

I know a fellow who, to avoid being fined for forgetting to pay the required toll road fee, moves his wedding band from his left hand to his right. Upon return he inevitably takes notice of the ring's placement and then immediately goes online to pay the required fee.

Now he could easily avoid doing this, if he abandoned altogether the occasional trip to San Clemente. The same can be said for resentment. If you decide to never again take the toll road to resentment, you will never again have to worry about having to pay the required emotional drainage fee.

So what's the plan? Put that ring on your right hand for as long as it takes to forgive the transgression, then put it back on your left hand where it belongs.

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Dr. Albert Cruz is the author of this piece and a phenomenal book titled Becoming Who You Want to Be. A certified Dale Carnegie instructor, he wrote the book to explain how, as an adult immigrant to the United States, he achieved financial independence before he started the pursuit of his first college degree at the age of 53. He now has two master's degrees and a doctorate and is teaching at Mesa College in San Diego, California. The book is available in both a hardback and digital format.