Feb 12, 2021 in Life Coaching

How to Argue Diligently?

Guides readers on how to argue diligently without exhausting their energy.

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1. Locate the content of an argument: 
It important to stay on content to limit unnecessary discussions that exhaust you. People who are unconscious, avoidant or possessed by their ego tend to go off content. They might pay attention to irrelevant details, change topics, create perplexity, stick to their idealogies or finds others ways to evade from the argument.
2. Scrutinize the implications:
Assess on whether the person is speaking out of biases, prejudices, emotional baggage, own assumptions, perceptions, values, beliefs, stereotypes, or using  half-baked knowledge to validate points? Check on whether the reasons they give to justify their argument fit an universal truth or their own assumed truth. Studying deep on the implications help you to explore the dimensions of a statement. For instance, when I say I like a particular person, the reason could be, he has same values as me, helped me during difficult times and also 'an enemy of my enemy.'
3. Hypothesize:
Pay attention clearly to their message and hypothesize how their thoughts and feelings are functioning inside them, that led them to speak in this way. This would help you to respond back diligently instead of reacting.
4. Questioning Skills: 
Give your opponents enough rope to hang themselves. You may ask exceptional questions that probes their thinking and challenges their statements.The purpose of questioning is to make them think otherwise, challenge their assumptions, beliefs, biases, rigidity and so forth. Remember, the key skill here is to peel every layer of their statements with thought provoking questions. Any type of questioning skills could be applied as long as it fits well into the context and content. The second key here is to get them to agree through these questions or make them pause, ponder and doubt their statements. From here, bring them into a fresh argument(the track where you want to instill awareness to your opponent about their misconceptions) and attack them with more questions if needed and proceed to justify your reasons clearly and validate your points. Attacking them with more questions gives you ample space to bring in your points in the argument. 

Things to take note:
1. A good argument ends well, if the other party possess the wisdom to be receptive to the points of others.
2. It is good to self- reflect and engage in an argument unless your points are valid and your reasons are justified.
3. Arguments should not take place when you are possessed by your ego.
4. Arguments are needed to preserve your self-respect, reject logical fallacies, prevent victimisation, assert and defend for yourself and your good values.
5. At any point of time, if you find that the person you are arguing with is, "dead sure about his theories and is not receptive to your points," you should choose to walk away with compassion for the imbecile and for the benefit of your self-care. You should never exhaust your energy.
6. Consistent practice on the above skills is needed to win or neutralise any argument.
7. Never show anger when arguing.
8. Keep in mind there is a difference between hearing and listening.
9. You need to tell directly to people, to put ego and rationalising ('listen and accept an assumed truth' that feeds their ego or mind and emotional needs) aside when conversing with you.
10. The above are just guidelines, feel free to add and modify methods that best fits your argument.


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