Dec 3, 2020 in Therapy
The effects of COVID-19 on Mental Health
More than half of Canadians reported a worsening of their mental health due to the COVID-19 pandemic in a recent poll.
How do I fix a marriage after cheating??
My husband of 5 years has cheated on me. I'm heartbroken. Can I fix our marriage?? Is there hope for us?? Will things get better? Please help
We both have insecurities and trust issues due to past relationships... So, there's the back and forth accusations, yelling, name calling, etc. We are both extremely jealous and have no communication skills. We love each other but sometimes Love isn't enough to make someone understand that you aren't going to hurt them. How can we help each other overcome these issues?
Am I over reacting? Am I the one in the wrong no him
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and he denied cheating on me but everything points to the opposite he's gone to spend the night with his baby moma and her kids in a hotel he rated me put to her when I called the cops on her for her vandalizing my car he would defend her when I would bring thing up about her and he has a video of her playing with her self am I wrong for being mad?
Idk what to do
My boyfriend and I have been fighting because he found some old messages that I had when we started going out, the messages are not bad the conversations where just like hi and bye kind of thing but because I told him I wasn't talking to anyone he's mad but da whole time he was still hanging out with his baby momma behind my back and he would delete all his messages to her so I wouldn't see them
Lost and confused at a crossroads
My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years now. We have had a very tumultuous relationship both of us have hurt each other very much on each parts. But he’s done a lot more wrong it has no accountability. But my question is how do you handle it because anytime I try to talk to him about anything he automatically yells at me, deflects, accuse me of cheating. How do you go about handling
How can I get my teen to confide in me
I've been trying to get my son to confide in me about why he is feeling so depressed. He is 15 years old and a very good teen but have no idea why he is so withdrawn and quiet. Please help me I cant bear to see him like this
What do I do?
I'm not sure what to do. Recently separated mom with 2 young girls and pregnant with my 3rd.
I took my son's Ipad away because I'm at my wit's end with him.
He is so addicted and doesn’t want to do anything else. Can anyone tell me whether I did the right thing or am I being too harsh?
It's 3 y I divorced and we have shared custody of 2 lovely kids. Any advice on how to make them understand that divorced parents is ok?
What should I do?
My son is acting out in school and giving people the middle finger and running around and hitting when he is restrained and he also has speech apraxia and may have ADHD
In Alberta, Canada, a government poll found 74% of the people felt the pandemic had negatively affected their mental health, creating depression and severe anxiety.
These statistics are not surprising, because a pandemic is a perfect “anxiety storm.” It has all the perfect ingredients that contirbute to creating much worry even in people who are not typically anxiety-prone. These include: uncontrollability, irritability, damaged relationships, uncertainty and high suicide rates.
Besides following public health guidelines, there is little any one individual can do to control the spread of COVID-19 or the magnitude of the pandemic. How this is unfolding locally and around the world is highly serious, and there is no shortage of speculation that things will deteriorate this winter. Humans dislike uncertainty and tend to “fill-in-the-blanks” in situations like this, which often results in highly improbable worst-case scenarios.
Add to this job loss and financial strain, social isolation, and loneliness, close contact that may lead to arguments or abuse, the stress of working from home while being responsible for childcare and home-schooling, and worrying about far away or elderly family members. It is no wonder there are reports of escalating mental health problems. In these circumstances, we need to look out for one another and do what we can to ease the negative effects of COVID-19.
It’s a very difficult situation, but there are actions individuals can take to effectively deal with the circumstances and ease the suffering
1. Be nice to yourself (and those around you)
Living through this pandemic is tough. Many of us have not been in this situation before. We have no rules or experience or role models to turn to that would help us. We are making things up as we go along. You may be feeling lost, confused, anxious, and worried. So is everyone else. These are all totally normal emotions. Allow yourself these feelings, have comp[assion and patience for your own difficulties.
Don’t try to push away your difficult feelings or force yourself to “think positive,” which is not a healthy coping mechanism, as it denies the reality of your current experience. All emotions are fine, even the tough ones, and trying to stuff them down and replace them with “positive thinking” is an impossible and unhealthy task.
2. Manage your feelings and emotions
Find a safe and controlled way to acknowledge and express your difficult emotions, for example by writing them down in a journal or letter, talking to a friend, getting physical exercise or practicing yoga or meditation. If your symptoms are severe and interfering with your ability to function, contact a mental health professional. Above all, think about how you would respond to a friend struggling in this situation, and apply that same compassion and advice to yourself; then turn it towards others.
3. Make the best of every situation...stay positive
Here you need to distinguish between things you can control and things you cannot. In particular, you are totally in control of your response to the situation. Accepting the uncertainties of the future, while at the same time identifying areas in your life that you can in fact control is a good place to start.
Can you go out for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine? Then do that every day. If your kids are around more now without school and other activities, can you try to involve them in household chores and teach them how to cook and do laundry? Are you able to catch up on sleep a bit? Our society is so chronically sleep-deprived, this is a great opportunity to get some needed rest, and the benefits are tremendous.
Can you think of ways to help others in your neighborhood? Volunteer whatever skills you have if time permits; volunteers are generally happier and may even improve their longevity.
4. Be completely realistic, lower all of your expectations
It is not realistic to think you can do it all: homeschool your kids; work full-time from home; maintain a perfect (clean, orderly) household; and take care of yourself and others. The drawbacks of perfectionism are well known.
Instead, try prioritizing one or two things, and let the others slide a little. Leave the teaching to the teachers and focus on parenting. Take time out for self-care. Remind yourself not to worry if you let work projects slide a little, the laundry and dishes pile up for a while or the kids get a little extra screen time. You’ll get to it all when you can. Focus on your high priority items and don’t expect too much of yourself.
5. Keep your daily routines and structure
Catching up on sleep is great, but it would be better not to sleep until noon every day. Keep your schedules and routines much as they were before, with modifications to suit your new routine. Have set times to work, set time for family meals, plan activities with your family, and have a regularly scheduled bedtime. Avoid drinking much more alcohol than usual, and cut back if you’re having more than a couple of drinks per day.
6. Keep physical, but not social, distance from others
It’s easy to become socially isolated when we are advised to keep away from others, especially for people who live alone. Make a special effort to keep in touch with family, friends, and colleagues through email, FaceTime, video conferencing, and plain old phone calls. Make appointments with your friends to meet for a call just as you would for in-person get-togethers. Have Zoom parties and share some food or drinks with your friends and catch up on a regular basis. The health benefits of social support are numerous.
7. Stick to bonafide sources for the facts (and avoid the conspiracy documentaries on Social Media)
Pick one or two sources of information that you trust, such as your local government or reliable news sources. If social media makes you feel anxious and angry, avoid the threat of “social contagion” and take a break. There are many negative side-effects of social media consumption, so consider limiting your scrolling time to 15 minutes or so, once or twice a day, or avoid Social Media altogether.
We can learn so much from slowing down and taking care of one another. Once this passes, take the opportunity to carefully consider what you really want to add back to your life. Maybe this slower pace isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe getting back to “full speed ahead” is not the best choice for you or for our society. Before diving right back in as society begins to reopen, we need to mindfully contemplate what life lessons we can take away from this extraordinary time.
Reuben Geniesse, a certified Life Coach, and Psychotherapist. Trained as a Master's degreed clinical psychotherapist and certified as a Master Life Coach, Reuben brings over 35 years of experience working with children, adolescents, and adults. Reuben specializes in depression, anxiety, poor self-worth, low self-esteem, lack of passion or motivational drive, and negative consequences from trauma or significant life changes (i.e., divorce, business failure, effects from a pandemic - COVID-19, etc..). https://reubengeniesse-com6.webnode.com/