Oct 19, 2020 in 

The Secret To Great Sex

Besides our basic needs such as food, shelter, protection etc. Connection is what makes us truly happy.

Tarryn Tomlinson

Life Coach

120 $ / session

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Finding Freedom Through Connection.

Besides our basic needs such as food, shelter, protection etc. Connection is what makes us truly happy.

Without connection (touch,kissing) babies will not develop into functional humans with dysregulated nervous systems and in extreme cases, even physical growth can be stunted.

The rise in depression is a key example of how this lack of intimacy has effected people (of course there are other factors too). We have focused on the material aspects of life looking for fulfillment not understanding that we buy those things besides for comfort, but in order to be accepted or seen as valuable by our peers. As if saying: 'Look at me! I'm enough! I matter! I am valuable! Love me!'

When our efforts bring no sense of accomplishment or only temporarily make us feel fulfillment we feel increasingly sad, lonely, disconnected etc.

What we are all needing is genuine intimacy and connection.

Even our technologies is more focused on 'connection'; social media, telephones, video call etc

Did you know that you can also talk with the author of this article ?

Tarryn Tomlinson

Life Coach

120 $ / session

  • 0 Thank you!
  • 0 Testimonial
  • 2 Publications: 24 likes 18 shares

With sex in particular! Quickies for example (superficial way to fulfill a need- which does not give us what we really want) can leave people feeling empty. Making love to someone can make sex a completely different experience because of our willingness to be vulnerable and open to connection.

We have heightened experiences when we accept our bodies and our desires (intimacy with ourselves) and communicate those needs to a partner who is open and non judgmental, in a way which does not force our desires upon them. If our partner is aligned they'll do the same with us.

Yet! True intimacy comes when our focus is on giving pleasure to our partner whilst being open to direct them on how to please us. When we focus on our own needs during sex we prevent intimacy, because it shows we do not trust the other to fulfill our needs and you can't have intimacy without trust.

Profound connection/intimacy is what we humans want yet we also don't get it because we are afraid of that intimacy. We are afraid to be vulnerable.

True intimacy and connection starts with the self, with accepting and loving all aspects of ourselves then being brave enough to be vulnerable and open to another.

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